★ Testimonies ★

★★★★★ Tiara in Scotland

This time, I honestly told Him that I do not want to leave, about my reasons and fears, BUT if it is His will, I will do so and ask Him to change my desires and will according to His and to free me from the fear that was a huge blockage. I was very scared that I would be isolated there as I used to be, because I don't have any family and I keep in touch with only one friend and bad things will start happening to me, like in the past. The Lord took away my fear, gave me the belief that it was from Him and helped me change my perspective: remembering good memories (for the first time in several years I was able to see my pictures from Scotland without pain in my heart and negative emotions), thinking about it what I can be excited about (like going with my Husband and a new adventure with Him). The last thing He showed me was that Alan hadn't forbidden me to go there, he said he didn't want me to go there for him. Before that was actually my only reason, now my eyes have opened and I have realized that I am not doing this for him but for my true Husband who for some reason wants me to be there. Alan asked me this time, when he found out that I wanted to leave, if I was doing it for him, to which I had a prepared answer that no, he can be calm and continue to live his life, I will not get in his way. The topic was over and he didn't mind and even started helping me find a flat afterwards, getting excited and encouraging me to stay in the UK. At the same time, when he knew nothing about my departure, he said (on our anniversary day) that he wanted to divorce me. Then, when he found out that I was definitely going to Scotland, he said that he would see a notary to arrange the divorce papers, but if it will be better for me to postpone the divorce - by gaining his citizenship for which he was applying - then he would arrange it later. I left this decision to him, saying that I trust that he will make the best decision and let him choose what suits him best. I don't know if the divorce is in the process, or if I come, we'll be divorced soon. It all doesn't make sense and might scare me, but I don't feel any fear, pain, sadness or anger. I have peace, joy and I am loved by my Heavenly Husband, which I see at every step. I trust that He has control and a good plan for me, that He will use whatever is happening for my good and for His glory. I am looking forward to the next adventure I will have with Him, regardless of my status. I believe His promises, not what I see with my eyes and circumstances.