Last week we discussed that most (if not all) of us have some sort of trigger, something that sets us off in a negative way. And I promised that we would cover triggers this week.
Recently one of my children exhibited the same reaction to something I said, thinking (or maybe feeling is a better word) that I called them “stupid.” Of course, what I'd said was nothing close to calling them stupid. What I’d done was asked a question, asking them something that made them feel like I was calling them that. So I stopped and asked, “Who used to call you stupid?” Then proceeded to share this testimony with them.
Years ago I was accused of NOT following A Wise Woman workbook, what I wrote in the many chapters, and challenged me by saying, “if anyone really knew who the real Erin was, everyone would scatter!!!” At first, I did the same thing as everyone else, I felt as I was convicted, but was really being condemned or accused (but at the time I didn’t realize since it was negative I needed to take it to the Lord). So instead, I worked harder, tried to be better, do more, and redeem myself. Sad huh?
Then one day, thankfully, "works" just became too much for me. Again, because I simply should have done, but sadly didn’t know how to do—exhausted and at my breaking point (I’m sure you can relate), I simply ASKED HIM. “Lord, is it true? Do I not follow the WW? If others knew the “real” me would they run away or think horribly of me?”
What happened next I’ll never forget. Lovingly, slowly, as if the world stopped right there, He asked me beginning with the very last chapter of the WW book:
Erin, do you train your children the way you say in “Your Mother’s Teachings?”
Stopping to think, I had to say, “Yes, Lord.”
Erin, do you trust Me with your fertility? Have you done anything at all to try to prevent pregnancy?
Yes, Lord, I have been trusting You alone.
Erin, are you working outside your home? Have you felt the least bit tempted when offered lucrative and important positions?
Lord, You know I wouldn’t dream or consider working outside the home.
On and on He asked until we got to First Love…
Erin, who is first in your life?
Oh, Darling, You are!
Erin, where IS your house being rebuilt?
On You Lord, You are my Rock.
Moving from chapter to chapter, my Love, freed me by revealing the truth. From that moment on the accusations stopped; the fear of working to gain what I thought (or felt) I was lacking was gone—along with every “trigger.” When later I was accused by the same person and later—by a multitude of people over the upcoming years. Nothing that I was accused of (related to this) that was ever said phased me or triggered the same response.
It’s acting out dying to self. If that thing in you is dead, anyone can kick or spit on it, just like you could kick or spit on a dead person but nothing would phase them, right?
Were there times when I took something to the Lord that I was NOT innocent of? Of course! And that’s what we will discuss next week.
But, before rushing off, STOP and take a moment to get alone with the Lord and ask Him about any “triggers” you may be reacting to.
All of us have lies said to or about us that He very much wants to clear up by lovingly showing us the truth. If He does reveal the trigger as true, just remain open and don’t ever run away from His love that is unconditional. Remember it was “while we were yet sinners” that He chose us to be His bride.
Our response should be in the same loving way as His answer when He shows us our errors. We do NOT need to fall on our face, beg for forgiveness, rip our spiritual clothes or throw ashes over ourselves. We also don’t need to run to His bloodied cross. Instead, He wants to wrap His arms around us. He simply wants to LIFT the burden we’re carrying, just as a loving Husband would.
So, again, STOP and go make it right. Like He says, “Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My load is light” (Matt. 11:29). He wants to lift your burdens and simply wants to break that uncomfortable yoke.
Today, make a commitment that from this point forward, each and every time something uncomfortable surfaces, that you will take it to Him—so He can free you either from the LIE or from the burden of unconfessed sin.
Though I want to move towards helping each of you be free from sin, for most of you who have traveled along your Restoration Journey with the Lord, having already experienced the brokenness that’s required (the surrendering and having wept over the Lord’s feet as Mary Magdalene did), I really sense that most of our triggers and “sore” spots is not a sin at all. So that’s why I sense He wants us to speak about the accuser a bit more and how he cleverly makes us feel like a sinner through temptation, which will be our Living Lesson next week.