Too many of our Ministers, and other women (who talk incessantly about their HH), show signs to the contrary—that they don’t really see Him as their Husband, which is why I wrote Finding My Heavenly Husband.
The next thing we notice, after the joy of understanding His love, is that like many married couples the wife begins doing all the talking and very little listening to her new Husband. In this Weekly Message, I’m hoping to remedy this tragedy with today’s Living Lesson.
Just as in any relationship, it’s not about just talking TO someone and sharing your thoughts and your ideas and your emotions. So, too, in your relationship with the Lord.
Like any good marriage, the man at first does all the talking. You read His Word, His Love letters to you, His promises to you, His vision for your future and what he believes about everything. Unfortunately, once the novelty wears off, you, become more of a wife than a bride. You begin to do all the talking, making all the decisions, and soon you're back to the old you.
To keep your love alive and remain His bride, you need to stop and listen and ask Him about things—just like you used to do. So together you can have a real, not one sided (or lopsided), loving and successful relationship.
So often, we’re sad and disheartened when we read spiritually mature women who share how they did this or that or felt this or that, but then we see that they never share what the LORD said to them about what they should do as the remedy.
Over and over they stay on their same course of action or are off doing something else they hope will help or they sadly suffer carrying their negative emotions with them. When right there, right next to them, there is Someone who has all the answers.
Normally we have to write back and ask, “So, what did the Lord tell you to do?” when it’s proof they are simply not being a good bride but have turned into an independent wife—neglecting they even have a Husband.
It’s simply foolish to not ask and talk to Him about everything! No, not when you get to the end or find yourself confused (or confusing others by your nonsense). Go to Him with everything and for everything and you’ll find your paths are straight and joyful because you’re really traveling along with Him!
Let me give you an example. As far back as when I was first restoring my marriage in 1989 and everyone was praying "against" my impending divorce, which I had heard my husband had filed. Yet, for some reason, I didn’t have the same passion and never felt led to pray against it.
Baffled, I simply stopped and ASKED the Lord, “Is the divorce going to go through?” To which He said, “Yes, but you can trust Me.” So I did. Simple!
Then after I asked, and heard His answer, when I went back to my small group the next week and women said they were praying "against" my divorce, I said, “Oh, you don’t need to. The Lord said it would go through but to trust Him.”
Thankfully I had only one woman who came up "against" me (who later I asked to leave due to other issues we were having with her). She rebuked me and shouted, “You have to BELIEVE!! And you have to pray AGAINST IT!!” Clearly, she didn’t care at all about His will and that as Christians we’re often asked to go “through the valley of the shadow of death” in order to come out with a testimony. And I doubt if she ever stopped to listen to Him. Instead, she had her own agenda as some of you still do.
This means that, by the time you’ve completed your Restoration Journey, you should know and have been trained to simply ASK Him about everything. Such as:
Is the divorce going through?
What do you want me to do about (fill in the blank)?
Why am I struggling with (name them) feelings?
Have I forgiven (this person) so if I have, why do I keep thinking about (this person)?
The List is endless!! My list is endless. From the moment I wake up until I go to sleep, and even in the middle of the night if I wake up—I am talking to Him and listening to Him speak to me.
To help prove this, here are my absolute favorite verses on this topic that you need to mark and read until each principle is burned and branded into your soul.
Isaiah 45:11— "Thus says the LORD, the Holy One of Israel, and his Maker:'Ask Me about the things to come ...'"
Isaiah 42:9-10—“Behold, the former things have come to pass, Now I declare new things; Before they spring forth I will proclaim them to you. Sing to the Lord a new song, Sing His praise from the end of the earth!"
Isaiah 30:21—"Your ears will hear a word behind you, 'This is the way, walk in it,” whenever you turn to the right or to the left.'" But you need to be listening.
Isaiah 48:6—“I proclaim to you new things from this time, even hidden things which you have not known."
This means you need to go to Him and ask Him what He thinks, how He feels, what HE wants you to do, as a couple. And it begins with simply things:
Lord, what do You want me to wear today?
Lord, how do You want me to fix my hair?
Lord, what are Your plans for dinner tonight?
If this isn’t your normal daily routine, then I can tell you honestly that you’re missing out? He will show you things that look great on you—things that you never thought to wear. Also, you might wear something that doesn’t match the weather report, but because He knows what the weather really will be, you’ll be dressed for it!
And if you don’t have enough clothes, He may just have you stop by somewhere to purchase some! I’ve been known to wander into stores thinking to myself “What are you doing here!?!?” Then asking Him (as I always do and what I’ve trained my children to do), “Lord, just show me what you want me to buy. What You’ve picked out for me and why You led me here.” On more than one occasion I had things actually jump or be flung into my cart.
One time I needed something for a new granddaughter, but she had gotten SO MUCH there wasn’t anything I thought she needed. I was pushing my cart down an aisle and a hanger got tangled, and in flew a designer bib. I stood there for a while stunned like “What happened?” But I knew to purchase it and my DIL couldn’t stop telling me it was EXACTLY what she’d been looking for but couldn’t find! And what tops it off, almost always what He shows us (or throws in our cart) will be such a great bargain—to confirm it’s from Him.
Secondly, I have to say it still breaks my heart when I see sooooo many women, who have come so far in their RJ, but who still forget that God created man (beginning with the first humans, Adam and Eve) for fellowship!! And also that the Lord is a Man, created as a Man and therefore also craves and wants fellowship from His bride. Even with everything, He’s done you still don’t really connect and spend time by having open communication with Him. Many are still talking “about” Him, claiming He’s more than what He really is in their lives.
Let’s face it, the Lord is a Gentleman, which means He will sit quietly while you babble on and on—even letting you do your own thing. He’ll wait until you get yourself in a big enough mess that you finally ask Him His thoughts. Only then will you know the truth and be set free from yourself.
Isaiah 55:8-9—“‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,’ declares the LORD. ‘For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.’”
Proverbs 3:4-6—“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
Isaiah 64:4—"For from days of old they have not heard or perceived by ear, Nor has the eye seen a God besides You, Who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him."
So going back to your relationship with the Lord, what would happen if you had a person who hung around with you but they never stopped to LISTEN or ASK how you felt or what you knew? How would you feel? Rejected maybe. Well, He feels the same way.
If you never stopped to LISTEN or ASK how He feels or what He knows (even though He knows the answers to everything!!) what kind or level of a relationship would you say you have? Doesn’t this sound like the same marriage relationship you tore down with your EH before coming here?
Let me also explain, that very often the Lord doesn’t give me the answers, but simply tells me, “Trust Me” and that is more than enough for me to let go and simply know He’s got it under control. It’s so freeing. When I first wrote A Wise Woman it taught me how to be the wife of an earthly husband—what I should have been taught before I married. Yet it wasn’t until I applied those same principles to my relationship with my Heavenly Husband when I found my life really changing and when I felt so free and cherished by Him.
Even though today’s lesson was longer than usual, STOP now (or make a date later) to selah what you’ve learned, in other words, meditate on everything. AND be sure that you just don’t think about what you’ve learned, but you set up a date with your Husband to be alone with Him and ASK Him to share with you how this message applies to you and anything else you can ASK Him. Then sit quietly and listen 😉 And keep your love alive by living like this daily.