This opening promise regarding the Lord turning the heart found in the book of Proverbs is one of the foundational promises for restoration. RMI introduces this life-changing truth to brokenhearted men and women who come seeking help and hope—learning for the first time that it might not be their spouse who no longer cares for them, but their rejection is part of God's plan.

Once this truth is embraced, that a person's heart can be turned by the Lord, is quite comforting, so much so, that I use this truth very often with all my relationships. Yet, what is more than unnerving, while downright scary, terrifying actually for me often to not battle against and try to reason away—what happens when the Lord turns our hearts away from the very relationship we long to restore?

Since you may just be discovering this truth about God turning the heart for the very first time, and also for those of us who know it well, let's go ahead and review how it's explained in the Restore Your Relationship when the question is asked,

"Has everyone told you that your son or daughter or husband (or someone else who has rejected you) has his or her own will and therefore he or she may “choose” not to return home or be reconciled to you? When trying to restore your relationship you will be bombarded (as everyone else is who is seeking restoration) by the onslaught of those well-meaning individuals who love to tell you that it is a person’s “choice” and his or her own “free will” to choose to leave you or to live with someone else—but, praise the Lord, their will is not what’s important."

Does that mean our will is also not important?

Is it true that not only is man’s will not what matters? But it also goes for me, for us? Again, let me share for the readers who are not familiar with this truth, where it came from, and how He led me to discover this back when I needed comfort.

When God led me to search for the truth in this dilemma of “man’s will” versus “God’s will”—I found the truth! I found that the Bible continually referred to “God’s will” without mentioning man’s will even once! 

For the rest of the explanation, I encourage you to read the entire chapter in the Restore Your Relationship while I explain how this truth, turned on its end, upended me and my concept of why, just how, my heart no longer seemed to care for those who I knew, absolutely knew in my head were some of the most important people in my life. What I hadn't remembered until just now is the Lord, my Husband, my Creator had done this to my heart back in the very beginning of my restoration journey in 1991. Interestingly, the reason He turned my heart back then was for the very reason He turns my heart now—so I don't experience pain—allowing me to heal.

Back in the very beginning of RMI, long before I ever dreamed it would be such a controversial ministry, like most who've been rejected by a spouse, I hurt to the point I believed I was dying. I was deeply wounded by the fact that my husband had rejected me and chose another woman to love and later live with. Yet, because He was becoming my Husband, my Lover, my Everything, He knew He could turn my heart so I no longer cared.

During the weeks my wayward husband would be gone and living where we'd lived before he dumped and abandoned (thankfully) his children and me in a shoddy empty townhouse by my parents and my children's grandparents, my heart felt nothing for him whatsoever because He turned it.

To be honest, I'm not sure if I wrote this or if it's in the Be Encouraged videos, but it astonishes me even now how incredibly the Lord would turn it away for weeks, then just minutes before he'd arrive to visit the children, he'd turn it back and even inject His love in my heart for a man who'd done the unthinkable.

Over three decades of ministering, my Beloved has seen fit to fracture many of my relationships, not only for the sake of one day restoring them—but to live an Abundant Life because of the One and only One relationship any of us needs to be exceedingly happy, joyful, glad, pleased, satisfied and delighted in life! I'm comfortable and beyond content—entirely optimistic about the future without longing for who or what God chose to remove from my life.

“You [God] have removed lover and friend far from me; My acquaintances are in darkness.”

“You [God] have removed my acquaintances far from me; You have made me an object of loathing, repulsive, abomination, and disgusting to them; I am shut up and cannot go out.”

That's because He, God, promised to "supply all (not some of) my needs according to His riches...” and this includes the need for everything each of your relationships provides or provided for you. Not to mention that "we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" so every awful, unexpected, or evil thing that happens to you—you can begin looking for the good that is right there if you just look!

When you look, you'll find it and this turns your sadness into complete joy! Remember depending on what you're seeking is what you'll ultimately find. God says, "Seek and you shall find.” This means if you're looking for trouble or something horrible, you'll find it. But if you're looking for Him, for His blessings, for good that He promises comes out of difficulties—that's what you'll find. 

Used For Good

If there's one thing where we are all the same is believing we are the center of the universe. If someone isn't speaking to us, for instance, we think they are mad at us or purposely trying to hurt us, when most often, it has nothing at all to do with us. They may not feel well, they may have argued with someone else. With that established, the good and how God may want to use the rejection or broken relationship you want dearly is for the good of someone else—the very one you may care the most for in the entire world.

It took years of spending time with my Beloved and hours upon hours just being alone with Him before I could understand that some of the ones we love are safest when they are not with or close to us. No, not because we will harm them but because we are under enemy attack so what's being hurled at us can easily hit or injure the ones we love and want to protect.

Consider in your mind's eye how a mother might run off away from her children so the enemy will chase and may even capture her, but she did this so her children would be safe. When the battle is over, when the torturing is complete, she knows she laid her life down for her child just as He laid His life down for us.

Nothing is impossible for God!

The Lord turns the heart wherever He wishes!