My Beloved Daughter
I thank God . . . as I constantly remember you
in my prayers night and day,
longing to see you,
even as I recall your tears,
so that I may be filled with joy.
—2 Timothy 1:3–4
Dear Beloved Daughter,
It is not by chance that you are holding this book in your hands; it is by Divine Providence. God has heard your cry for help, as He did mine, and He has come to help you and to bless you. The pages that follow will guide you, as He guided me when others said that the atrocities that have been done to children was entirely impossible to heal from.
What He asked me to do was not easy to restore many areas of my life, nor will this be easy for you. But if you want a miracle in your life, it can happen. If you want a testimony to share with others on the faithfulness of God, it will happen. If you really want God to restore your childhood and ALL the many relationships that have been destroyed due to what's happened to you that appear hopeless, read on. Only God can restore your childhood, your health, and your relationships, as I watched Him do countless times.
The Bible says, “the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His” (2 Chron. 16:9). He has been looking for the opportunity to help you. Are you ready to let go of everything else and TRUST only Him?
To complete the race, you will need zealous obedience. You must “enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it” (Matt. 7:13–14). It is your choice whether to look for and follow His narrow way now or turn back.
This is the time to choose. “I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants, by loving the Lord your God, by obeying His voice, and by holding fast to Him; for this is your life and the length of your days . . .” (Deut. 30:19–20). Will you choose His blessings by seeking Him as the loving Father and Protector He can be to you?
Whether you need help in your relationships, in your marriage, with your children, your parents, your in-laws, your boss, and/or your siblings—God is about to restore them one-by-one to you! You don't need to do it, instead, "You need not fight in this battle; station yourselves, stand and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf . . . Do not fear or be dismayed . . . the Lord is with you” (2 Chronicles 20:17). “Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will [begin to] accomplish for you today..." (Exodus 14:13-14).
I pray blessings upon each and every one of you who are seeking God alone for help. I hope that some day we will meet to rejoice together because very soon, there will be no more tears or sorrow in your life.
Dearest beloved daughter of His, God can restore the joy you've been robbed of and mend each of the relationships that mean so much to you that have been damaged—you have His Word on it. “‘Truly I say to you, if you have faith, and do not doubt, you shall not only do what was done . . . but even if you say to this mountain, “Be taken up and cast into the sea,” it shall happen’” (Matt. 21:21).
Since you are reading this book, I must assume that you have been suffering from childhood trauma due to one or more evil agents the enemy used to destroy your life and future. No matter what has transpired thus far, you must believe that “all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose” (see Rom. 8:28). This is one of the most powerful promises that you must believe and embrace—no matter that it's happened before. It's time for your life to change; you need to allow your Father to protect you.
As you and I surrender our lives, surrender our loved ones to Him, surrender our assailants, surrender our forgiveness (or lack of), and then surrender all to His purpose, then things will begin to work together for good—I have finally understood that this is the “abundant life” that He died to give you! “I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly” (John 10:10). As you go through each of your personal trials, that may or may not stem from your past trauma, if you really want things to work out for good, you must first love God and really want His purpose for your life (see Rom. 8:28)—letting go of your plan as your ultimate goal. Are you ready to trust Him?
Right now, His purpose is for you to draw closer to the Lord, a warrior, and to take Him as your new Best Friend, Lover, Father, and each and ever way you need Him. Just by being close to Him, talking to Him, crying with Him holding you—you are allowing Him to transform you more closely into His image. And take courage, for God has said, He has promised, “I will never leave you, nor forsake you” (Heb. 13:5). God has not left your side, no matter how alone you feel or have felt, “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me” (Ps. 23:4 KJV).
I’m sure that the “valley of the shadow of death” has to describe how you feel about your life right now and certainly in the past, but I promise you, God has allowed this for your good. You must believe this truth and look for every bit of good that is happening right now in the midst of your trials. How can God possibly use this for good? In the very same way, during the very first journey, I took being abandoned with four small children. Out of that valley, I not only came out of it with a ministry (the same for most of you reading this book), but I also met the Man of my dreams and, at some point—began to live life as His Princess, His bride.
Once you embrace Him and His choices for this to work out for good, will you shine forth as gold. “In this you greatly rejoice, even though for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold (which is perishable) even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise, glory and honor” (1 Pet. 1:6–7).
The most important thing for you to do right now is simply “Be still and know that I am God . . .” (Ps. 46:10). This might be very difficult for you to do, maybe bordering on the impossible, because it's the busyness that you might have used to dull the thoughts and pain. Just ask your Father to help you follow this new path God’s way. Make sure that everything you do or say follows the Scriptures and that it follows the Bible consistently. His plan for women and for our relationships and our healing are laid out in our book A Wise Woman, which I strongly encourage you to read to give you the blueprints and foundation you can rebuild your life on. (This and all of our books are available to read on our website for FREE). Again, the chapters in A Wise Woman will show you how to REBUILD your life on God's Word, the only truth!!
It’s the enemy who is interested in destroying YOU and every relationship that is important to you and everything else in your life that means something to you. Never forget that “the thief [the enemy] comes to steal, to kill, and destroy; I came [Your Husband was sent from Your Father] that they [you] might have life, and might have it abundantly” (John 10:10). Don’t believe the enemy’s lie that your life is hopeless, but “take every thought captive” (2 Cor. 10:5). Instead of believing a lie, believe God and let the truth set you free from all your fears, slowly healing your heart and ridding you of pain and shame!
Don’t allow the enemy to steal from you anymore. Don’t allow him to destroy you, your family, your life, and your children or steal your future. Believe me and believe others who can tell you from experience that everything you are experiencing is capable of destroying everyone and everything, but GOD says, “A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand, but it shall not approach you” (Ps. 91:7).
Follow God’s plan for your life instead of believing a lie and following the world’s ways. Right now, whether you are married or not, engaged or planned NEVER to marry—take the LORD as your Husband, your Protector: “For your Husband is your Maker, the Lord of Hosts is His name . . . ” (Isa. 54:5). This is significant because it means He's a warrior, the true "knight in shining armor" who really does exist and who can rescue you!
“‘For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake, but My lovingkindness will not be removed from you, and My covenant of peace will not be shaken,’ says the Lord who has compassion on you” (Isa. 54:10).
Pore over the Bible, letting your Beloved Father and Warrior Husband “wash you with the water of the Word” (Eph. 5:26). Trust and believe what GOD says, not what you see, since “faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Heb. 11:1). “And without faith it is impossible to please God . . .” (Heb. 11:6).
No one but God knows exactly what you are going through or the answers you need right now. If you talk to Him (which is better than praying because you can have a conversation with Him in your head and heart or even out loud if you're alone in your car or somewhere you trust you won't be overheard) and the stop to listen to Him (reading His Word, the Bible that's filled with promises He's has just for you to find), He can lead you through to the healing that He has waiting for you.
Be very careful when choosing to follow what everyone else is saying, especially those of the world, friends in the church, and even pastors or Christian counselors who tell you something he/she has heard or read that is not firmly stated in the Word of God (and not taken out of context). If you are spending time with Him and reading God’s Word, God, your Father, will speak to your heart first, in your heart, or while you're reading the Bible, and then someone will confirm what He's already shown you or laid on your heart— which will be entirely consistent with His Word!
Too many people, sadly, even Christians, tell you things that sound good and feel good in the flesh. But if it doesn’t follow what GOD said—it is wrong—it's a lie! You will remain on sinking sand (see A Wise Woman). “How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked” (Ps. 1:1). When it is of God, it usually sounds crazy (like believing GOD for your marriage when others say “get out” back when I was first trusting Him for my marriage or being truly kind and loving toward your wayward child instead of dealing with them with “tough love”). And another way to confirm it's HIS way because it always needs His help to carry it out! You need to surrender and ask Him to do it. Things that are easy to do, what comes to us naturally, are wrong and are simply feeding our flesh. What you need and deserve are supernatural things, impossible things happening in your life from now on.
If you are getting bombarded with the opinions of others, it comes down to one source. You believed the lie and have exposed your pain and possibly shame, and now it's being used against you. Once again, “Be still and know that I am God . . .” (Ps. 46:10), since “Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is considered prudent” (Prov. 17:28). Being prudent will be pivotal for healing and the restoration of your life and broken relationships. You must use good judgment by remaining silent about the details as you consider the consequences of all that poor advice that has been destroying you all your life.
Don’t act or react impulsively—nor give in to revealing your assailant. God is known for telling us to “Wait!” Then, He says, watch Him change everything. “Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will [begin to] accomplish for you today..." (Exodus 14:13-14). God said that He is the “Wonderful and Mighty Counselor” (Isa. 9:6), so begin discussing details ONLY with HIM. Don’t you deserve the best? Wouldn’t it be amazing to have a Counselor who knows the future—One who can actually turn the heart of those involved to repentance? There is only One who can show you the right direction, can heal you, and show you how to move forward in your life to a future that's bright and beautiful. Trust your Father and Him alone! So many are suffering as you are, with ongoing pain, suffering, and shame, that only GOD can heal and make whole.
Sadly, even Christian counselors or therapists aren't able to help because they fail to acknowledge that only He can heal and only His Word can wash us clean. The greatest and most destructive lie is— we can be healed the more we talk about it. Nonsense. If this were true, you would see more people healed. So, based on this lie, everyone encourages you to talk about things that happened in the past, to have to talk about things that should never be said because God knows. And worse, to confront each person in the assault and the insult of the unrepented to withhold a proper and meaningful apology—as if this can possibly make up for years of pain. Nothing any person can say or do could ever make up for or compensate you!
Let go of what you have been led to believe will make things right again so you can grab hold of what GOD promises you instead. Read this over and over every day all day...
“Instead of your shame, you will have a DOUBLE portion, and instead of humiliation, they will shout for joy over their portion therefore, they will possess a DOUBLE portion in their land. Everlasting joy will be theirs. For I, the LORD, love justice, I hate robbery (like robbing you of your innocence and stealing your joy) . . . And I will faithfully give them their recompense and make an everlasting covenant [a binding contract] with them” (Isaiah 61:7-8).
And should you still believe the lie that you were partly or completely to blame, read this promise from GOD, “Speak kindly . . . And call out to her, that her warfare has ended, that her iniquity [any mistake made] has been removed, that she has received of the LORD'S hand DOUBLE for all her sins [errors in judgment- what you did or failed to do]” (Isaiah 40:2).
Now see if this rings true, once your counselor or therapist or psychologist listens to what he/she has encouraged you to reveal, he or she is unable to comfort you sufficiently after all the painful memories are stirred up, open, and raw. Counselors/therapists/psychologists are trained to get you to focus on and talk about the past instead of looking to the future. This is the exact opposite of what GOD says. As the Apostle Paul, who went through countless difficulties in his life, many with huge regrets and shame (like holding the cloaks of the men who stoned the Apostle Stephen), he said and vowed, “...one thing I’ll do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I [will] press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God” (Phil. 3:12–14). Read and use this promise to watch your life change.
If you still feel that your life and future are hopeless, then start to praise GOD—since hopeless situations are when He shows up—so that He can show His powerful love toward us! “With people, this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible!” (Matt. 19:26).
Work with God. And please don’t believe that without the other person’s repentance, conviction, or what they did is exposed, you can be healed, will finally feel safe, and your relationship will be restored and made new! Our ministry was founded by and for those who were the only person seeking every variety of restoration imaginable! However, God has proven that there is no impossible situation—our books and websites are filled with hopeless lives that God continues to restore. Why not you? What we know and have proof of and share with each and every woman is that the only thing anyone needs to do is to give your entire heart to the One who will keep it safe. “For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth that He may support those whose heart is completely His . . .” (2 Chron. 16:9).
Please understand I have had the privilege of being “counseled” by the Best Counselor countless times, and in this book, I will share just some of what He has told me through His Word. No two situations are exactly alike; nevertheless, His Word applies to all situations. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Cor. 1:3–4).
Search His Word after you have asked Him to find the answers you need. “Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and you shall find . . .” (Matt. 7:7 KJV) “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways” (James 1:5–8).
You must have faith! And where do you get faith? From Him! JUST ASK Him for faith since “all good things come from above” (James 1:17).
God’s Word, His Principles
Beloved, whether you know the Bible well or have never read it before, GOD'S Word alone must be your guide to restore your joy, your lost childhood and all the relationships that have suffered as a result. Only GOD can heal you from your past and give you a bright future. This book that you are now reading consists of most of the promises that the Lord used to guide me through the fires of trial and adversity in each of my restorations and so much healing without any effort or trying on my part.
Since the first relationship that the Lord restored was my marriage, He faithfully guided me through His Word and showed me that I had violated many of the principles of marriage. He also showed me other sins that I was unaware of or had never dealt with (by repenting of them). All of my sins and violations led to the destruction and fall of my marriage. This was true for my relationship with my siblings, my in-laws, and my children. Unless we build our lives on His Word, destruction is imminent and sure to come. “Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house, and it fell—and great was its fall” (Matt. 7:26–27). So chances are your relationships have suffered but they need not suffer any more. Each change will shine more light in your life and each step will become lighter and feel freer.
*Start* However, unlike my restorations that were brought on by my ignorance of God's Word, YOU were innocent and were not meant to know or follow most of these principles. It was the sins of others, not you; nevertheless, the path to healing will allow you to take the control of your life by tapping into same powerful promises that have helped me and every day you will be washed clean.
It may be that due to your lost innocence and childhood that resulted in your marriage and other relationships ending up in shambles. Some may have been completely destroyed. You will soon find, if you are not aware of it yet, that it is not just the other person who violated God’s principles—and I am not talking about your assailant because you do not share any part of that sin against you no matter what anyone says! You may find, as I did, that you if as an adult, you contributed to the destruction of a relationship, it was almost always done in ignorance. “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge” (Hos. 4:6). Once you understand and accept this one principle, you will experience the first turning point in your relationship and taking back the control you felt you lost in your life.
The wisdom that I learned from reading and rereading God's promises in the Bible is what the Lord led me to, and each promise helped me to understand what the Bible really was and that it was what I needed it to be in my life—my ultimate guide. The Bible is filled with the spiritual laws of His creation. When God created the world, He not only made it with physical laws, like the law of gravity, but He also created it with spiritual laws.
Just as violating the physical law of gravity will result in the consequences of us stumbling or an object falling, so will violating the principles in Scripture regarding each relationship result in that relationship falling.
Another amazing discovery is that the ways of the world are almost always opposite of the ways of God, and His Word. The way most "Christians" deal with what's happened to them is most often exactly the same way that anyone in the world would deal with every aspect of it. What you will find, as I did, is that this is the exact opposite of the way that God intended crises to be dealt with in order to bring healing . “ . . . This is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith” (1 John 5:4).
Be sure to ask God for a female prayer partner who will believe God with you for your spiritual, emotional and also physical health. If you want your life, health, and wellbeing restored, stay away from support groups!! You do not belong there if it is your desire to have God restore your health! Support groups, by in large are usually nothing more than “pity parties” or “positive thinking” or some other form of mysticism. If you want a fully restored life you have to choose now whether you want to find hope and true healing or if you want to settle for superficial healing. “They heal the brokenness of the daughter of My people superficially, Saying, ‘Peace, peace,’ But there is no peace”—Jeremiah 8:11. “Is there no balm in Gilead? Is there no physician there? Why then has not the health of the daughter of my people been restored?” Jeremiah 8:22. “If medicine and doctors are plentiful, why aren’t my people healed?” Jeremiah 8:22 CEV
When I began to follow God’s way, which was the opposite of the way everyone else was doing it, then I started to see each of my situations improve. The ways of the world always result in destruction, but the ways of God always bring about healing, restoration, and joy. “For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life” (Gal. 6:8).
In the next chapter, I have put together a quick reference to help you immediately get your relationship out of crisis. These principles, if followed diligently with a sincere and humble heart, will result in an immediate or future restoration—it is guaranteed, not by me, but promised by God in His Word.
The more a woman follows these principles, the more restoration she will see as a direct result of her obedience and faith. Those who stay in crisis or who never see their relationship restored are those who refuse to believe and obey the spiritual laws of God or erroneously believe that they are above the laws of God.
If you are one of those who believe strongly that you are not “under the law” and are therefore free to violate God’s laws, “may it never be!” “What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? May it never be!” (Rom. 6:15).
“Do we then nullify the Law through faith? May it never be! On the contrary, we establish the Law” (Rom. 3:31). “May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?” (Rom. 6:2).
Those who understood the law of gravity learned to rise above it, which resulted in man’s being able to fly. The Christian who studies the Word of God will rise above the world and astonish the unbeliever who will then seek God. Any woman, who believes that she is above the law of gravity and violates that law by jumping out of a plane without a parachute, will fall to her death. It is the same for the Christian, and it is the answer to why so many Christians live lives full of destruction—they believe they are above the law and chose to violate it.
There Is MORE Help!
When women continued to come to us wearied, we were led to create the RMI website to give more help, support, compassion, and guidance to those seeking to restore their relationships and lives.
We would like to invite you to visit RMI. We have received so many awesome praise reports about this area of our ministry, and it is growing by word of mouth. What is even more exciting is that we have seen more relationships restored on a regular basis than we ever thought possible!
We also want to help you find an ePartner, which is an encouragement, prayer, and accountability partner. Women are paired with other women who are going through the same or a similar situation and have a heart to restore their lives. If you would like to join, visit our website at EncouragingWomen.org and EncouragingMEN.org. All of our resources are free to read —and so are our memberships.
We look forward to the opportunity to help you through our website and to pray for you as you post prayer requests. Until then, let me pray for you now . . .
“Dear Lord, please guide this special woman through the crisis in her relationship. And her ears shall hear a word behind her saying, this is the way, walk here, when she turns to her right and when she turns to her left (see Isa. 30:21).
“Please reassure her when she sees a thousand fall on her right side and ten thousand at her left—help her to know that as she follows You, it will not happen to her (see Ps. 91:7). Hide her under your protective wings.
“Help her to find the narrow path that will lead her to life, the abundant life, you have for her and for her family. Lord, I pray for a testimony that you can use for Your glory when this restoration is complete! We give You all the honor and the glory through it all. Amen.”
Personal commitment: to believe that God can do the impossible. “Based on what I have learned from God’s Word, I commit to allowing God to do the impossible without complaining how long the journey takes or how many valleys He guides me through. I will focus my all attention on Him and His Word—His promises to me.”