Okay, listen up, everyone! I don't know if this will ever be published and make it into the He Healed Me book but I just knew I had to write it. 

So much has been written about God turning the heart of the husband; it was one of the first things I clung to when I first found this ministry. So much so it almost became like the most important thing I wanted God to do, just turn my EH or earthly husband's heart. Then, over the course of my restoration journey, long after I'd taken the abundant life journey ALJ and the moment my life finally became the most enjoyable time of my life, by finding the Love of my life, something happened.

Interestingly, I had quite a few odd relationships restored. Still, I also had more than a few special people in my life who began ignoring or avoiding me the deeper I got into my ALJ. Now I know that Erin goes into a lot about how God turned her husband's heart in her Be Encouraged video series (and if you haven't watched it, you should, you should watch both of the BeE series just to gain wisdom even if you're on your abundant life series because we all know more and more people are leaving their spouses so we need to know what to say, right?) Okay, sorry, back in that series. I remember Erin saying that when her husband was away, she felt nothing for him, but right before he came to visit, she had love in her heart for him. Interestingly, too, I believe either Erin or another author wrote an HHM chapter about God turning the heart, but this time, it was our heart. 

So now I want to take it even further and am eager to propose this most outrageous but completely wonderful theory or hypothesis or thesis. What if God is turning our heart or theirs—whoever it is who’s heart seems to grown cold. Someone who has either ghosted, ignored or who has downright rejected you. What if it is part of as God's “Order of Protection”?  Or maybe God's Restraining Order. In other words, it's His way of being who we knew Him to be when we discovered He was our Husband and we were His “protected” bride.

“Fear not, for you will not be put to shame And do not feel humiliated, for you will not be disgraced; But you will forget the shame of your youth, And the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more. 

“For your Husband is your Maker, Whose name is the Lord of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth. 

“'For the Lord has called you, Like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, Even like a wife of one’s youth when she is rejected,' Says your God."

It wasn’t until I was reading through this chapter a second time that I stopped to read the introduction to our Husband is our Maker. It begins with “Fear not” and what are we, as women, afraid of? Rejection! Being humiliated. Don’t you find this amazing in light of what this chapter is about?

Our Husband has committed to protecting us, as His bride, protecting our hearts, giving us time to heal, and giving Him time to get a hold of that other person who has hurt us. And, here’s part of my thesis, if He can't get the other person to change, He's going to forbid them from coming around us. I believe He'll either turn our hearts or theirs so that the one He loves so much, us, His bride, isn't surrounded or having to come in contact with people who aren't kind or loving and who don't treat us, His bride, in the way He wants His bride to be treated. 

What do you think? Am I on to something? Really stop and ponder this, please. It means a lot to me and I believe it’s intended to mean a lot to you too.

Now a bit more support to what I’m proposing and actually how I came up with the title of this chapter. In the United States, where I live, women, wives, and girlfriends are forever taking out a “Restraining Order” that's also called an “Order of Protection” in some states. It's basically the same thing, but here's the thing, the elephant in the room, the truth that is never spoken about. Not only do these legal papers rarely work, but in really dire, scary, life-threatening situations, they get the aggressive, cruel person so angry it often leads to being murdered. What's even crazier is that they know it but recommend it anyway! 

Now, I am not saying this is your situation, but as this is the extreme reason for wanting or needing protection, just imagine if God simply turned the heart, which we know will always work. 

There are also stipulations for the one filing this legal means of protection. The one who files is also not allowed to make contact with the person they filed against. Neither party is supposed to contact the other person, and if they even try following them physically or even on social media, depending on the state, they can be arrested for stalking. 

So now, let's put this in the spiritual realm as part of His plan to heal us. 

Remember, we’re here trusting and declaring that He Healed Me, right? God saw we were harmed, we needed healing but what if there are fresh hurts, what if our Husband sees we are hurting? He knows we need time for our hearts, emotions, and even physical time to heal from the ordeal we created before coming here and beginning our restoration journey—heal from whatever was done to or against us or we did to ourselves. So He sets in motion His “Order of Protection,” His “Restraining Order” by turning the heart. 

Now, it would be easier if He turned both hearts, and I suppose sometimes He might. But, instead, I am going to throw out another theory and that's this: when the harm goes too far, too much has happened, that’s when He hardens both hearts. It's like when your friend or relative says that he or she wants a divorce, and so does their spouse. That’s when it appears God will harden the heart.

“Because of your hardness of heart, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning, it has not been this way.” A divorce means each person doesn’t have a legal right to be intimate (and I don’t just mean behind-closed-doors intimacy). There’s no longer a wife submitting, and the husband is no longer responsible to provide or protect when it’s an ex. 

Anyway, let’s get back to this Order of Protection. When God turns the heart, it means you are warned not to engage in any type of contact with the other person. Remember, how many times have you read, "Let Go"? But now, with this theory, it's a bit more serious. It means LET GO, stop it, leave them alone, think of something else, Someone else, and stay busy. But stop thinking about or pursuing or trying to contact that other person. This means a spouse or romantic partner or even an older child, a sibling, or a friend.

Let's take this into other relationships. Like Erin posted about, about a year ago, I had a sibling reach out to me. My brother and I would talk on the phone when he was driving to work and we’d video chat too. At some point it became a weekly event I really looked forward to. After my initial excitement of him being in my life again, I began to notice how most of our hours-long conversations were all about him. Rarely did he ask about me, but I knew he'd had it tougher growing up. So it made sense that he was needy, and since I had "all I want, all I needed," I didn't need anything from him. I was honestly glad I had the opportunity to give to him. Soon his neediness wasn't just emotional support (listening to his problems, or just him talking about things I didn't care about but wanted him to have someone who cared), it began showing up in his financial neediness. 

Without getting into much detail, he needed to borrow money, so I loaned him a fairly sizeable amount, but very soon after—I told him I forgave the debt —partly because I knew he'd never be able to pay it back, and I doubted he'd even try if I am being honest. 

Then, for his birthday, I went all out, and it felt great. Shortly after, it was my birthday. Truth be told, I never expected him to be able to do much, but again, since I have "all I wanted, all I needed," I really didn't need anything from him like a gift. But what I didn't expect was not to hear from him on my birthday. Almost a week went by, and still no word. I even texted and left voice messages as usual, but I heard nothing back. Nothing. What happened? 

Like most women do, especially those of us who are desperate to do the right thing and live a life that is pleasing to our Husband, being read by all men, I kept asking my Husband what to do. I did feel hurt. I wouldn't be human if I didn't. But each time, it was only a slight hurt because, again, like most of you, I have "all I want, all I need," so I really didn't need anything from him or anyone. 

Then, all of a sudden, not only did God reveal something about this relationship but several relationships (one after another He passed through my mind) where He almost flipped what I’d perceived or understood completely upside down or maybe like seeing the mirror image of what I’d believed. 

Isn't everything that's spiritual the opposite of the way the world sees things? For example, if we lack, He says to give. He says if someone wants to take something, give them more. So what if, what if, this entire turning the heart thing, what if it's them, the other person who's missing out? What if God turns their heart, but it's them who's imprisoned, not us? What if they're the ones God is punishing, and we've believed, we have been looking at it the wrong way around? 

Let's take this to an extreme. Let's say we are wounded so horribly from the unkindness or rudeness or selfishness of the other person to the point we have to be hospitalized. We are even put in the ICU or Intensive Care Unit. This is a ward where only a few people, those closest to us, those who love us the most, and those who will be very careful are allowed in. Everyone else can't even visit. 

The same is true during rehabilitation or physical therapy, let's say, emotional therapy. No one but the most kind and loving are “allowed” to visit by order of our Physician. Do you see how special He wants us to feel? Do you see what He's done for us? It's not us who's lost out, it's them. 

Now, I don't say this because I'm arrogant or prideful, even if that's what you think. The reason is He is in me. He is my everything. He pours His love and kindness on me every day, and even His endless resources abound in me, so when someone is close to me (and to you too if you're a true bride of His and not just something you call yourself), His love and everything He gives me will spill over onto them. Doesn’t it say, "...pressed down, shaken together, and running over”?

“Pressed down and overflowing" is what He says about giving, right? So today, when I least expected it, the partner promise for 2023 rang true "Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty and marvelous and wondrous things, which you do not know…things to come, things you could never figure out on your own, remarkable secrets…“ and all of a sudden I knew, I just knew this remarkable secret! All those cold hearts, even some people over the years that had hardened hearts towards me, it was all part of His “Protective Order” because He doesn't want anyone in my life who isn't going to treat me kindly and cherish me the way He wants me, His bride, treated to be in my life! Even the few times I experienced my own heart being turned, I realized the secret just now, it's again, so my heart isn't hurt. He cares that much! 

Now, all of this might feel a bit far-fetched or maybe even downright wrong, but before you dismiss it. Give your Husband a chance to pull out parts that just might make your life as His bride a bit more special. And for heaven's sake, say something in the comments. Don't be rude and just come here and take, or you might find yourselves like dozens of other women, many of them ministers and translators, who were once basking in this honeymoon haven but then found their hearts turned away or even hardened so they left. None of us are immune, right?