He Healed Me

Chapter 8

Order of Protection

"Surely, LORD, you bless the righteous;
You surround them with Your favor as with a shield."
—Psalm 5:12

Okay, listen up, everyone! I don't know if this will ever be published and make it into the He Healed Me book but I just knew I had to write it. 

So much has been written about God turning the heart of the husband; it was one of the first things I clung to when I first found this ministry. So much so it almost became like the most important thing I wanted God to do, just turn my EH or earthly husband's heart. Then, over the course of my restoration journey, long after I'd taken the abundant life journey ALJ and the moment my life finally became the most enjoyable time of my life, by finding the Love of my life, something happened.

Interestingly, I had quite a few odd relationships restored. Still, I also had more than a few special people in my life who began ignoring or avoiding me the deeper I got into my ALJ. Now I know that Erin goes into a lot about how God turned her husband's heart in her Be Encouraged video series (and if you haven't watched it, you should, you should watch both of the BeE series just to gain wisdom even if you're on your abundant life series because we all know more and more people are leaving their spouses so we need to know what to say, right?) Okay, sorry, back in that series. I remember Erin saying that when her husband was away, she felt nothing for him, but right before he came to visit, she had love in her heart for him. Interestingly, too, I believe either Erin or another author wrote an HHM chapter about God turning the heart, but this time, it was our heart. 

So now I want to take it even further and am eager to propose this most outrageous but completely wonderful theory or hypothesis or thesis. What if God is turning our heart or theirs—whoever it is who’s heart seems to grown cold. Someone who has either ghosted, ignored or who has downright rejected you. What if it is part of as God's “Order of Protection”?  Or maybe God's Restraining Order. In other words, it's His way of being who we knew Him to be when we discovered He was our Husband and we were His “protected” bride.

“Fear not, for you will not be put to shame And do not feel humiliated, for you will not be disgraced; But you will forget the shame of your youth, And the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more. 

“For your Husband is your Maker, Whose name is the Lord of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth. 

“'For the Lord has called you, Like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, Even like a wife of one’s youth when she is rejected,' Says your God." Isaiah 54:4-6

It wasn’t until I was reading through this chapter a second time that I stopped to read the introduction to our Husband is our Maker. It begins with “Fear not” and what are we, as women, afraid of? Rejection! Being humiliated. Don’t you find this amazing in light of what this chapter is about?

Our Husband has committed to protecting us, as His bride, protecting our hearts, giving us time to heal, and giving Him time to get a hold of that other person who has hurt us. And, here’s part of my thesis, if He can't get the other person to change, He's going to forbid them from coming around us. I believe He'll either turn our hearts or theirs so that the one He loves so much, us, His bride, isn't surrounded or having to come in contact with people who aren't kind or loving and who don't treat us, His bride, in the way He wants His bride to be treated. 

What do you think? Am I on to something? Really stop and ponder this, please. It means a lot to me and I believe it’s intended to mean a lot to you too.

Now a bit more support to what I’m proposing and actually how I came up with the title of this chapter. In the United States, where I live, women, wives, and girlfriends are forever taking out a “Restraining Order” that's also called an “Order of Protection” in some states. It's basically the same thing, but here's the thing, the elephant in the room, the truth that is never spoken about. Not only do these legal papers rarely work, but in really dire, scary, life-threatening situations, they get the aggressive, cruel person so angry it often leads to being murdered. What's even crazier is that they know it but recommend it anyway! 

Now, I am not saying this is your situation, but as this is the extreme reason for wanting or needing protection, just imagine if God simply turned the heart, which we know will always work. 

There are also stipulations for the one filing this legal means of protection. The one who files is also not allowed to make contact with the person they filed against. Neither party is supposed to contact the other person, and if they even try following them physically or even on social media, depending on the state, they can be arrested for stalking. 

So now, let's put this in the spiritual realm as part of His plan to heal us. 

Remember, we’re here trusting and declaring that He Healed Me, right? God saw we were harmed, we needed healing but what if there are fresh hurts, what if our Husband sees we are hurting? He knows we need time for our hearts, emotions, and even physical time to heal from the ordeal we created before coming here and beginning our restoration journey—heal from whatever was done to or against us or we did to ourselves. So He sets in motion His “Order of Protection,” His “Restraining Order” by turning the heart. 

Now, it would be easier if He turned both hearts, and I suppose sometimes He might. But, instead, I am going to throw out another theory and that's this: when the harm goes too far, too much has happened, that’s when He hardens both hearts. It's like when your friend or relative says that he or she wants a divorce, and so does their spouse. That’s when it appears God will harden the heart.

“Because of your hardness of heart, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning, it has not been this way.” Matthew 19:8. A divorce means each person doesn’t have a legal right to be intimate (and I don’t just mean behind-closed-doors intimacy). There’s no longer a wife submitting, and the husband is no longer responsible to provide or protect when it’s an ex. 

Anyway, let’s get back to this Order of Protection. When God turns the heart, it means you are warned not to engage in any type of contact with the other person. Remember, how many times have you read, "Let Go"? But now, with this theory, it's a bit more serious. It means LET GO, stop it, leave them alone, think of something else, Someone else, and stay busy. But stop thinking about or pursuing or trying to contact that other person. This means a spouse or romantic partner or even an older child, a sibling, or a friend.

Let's take this into other relationships. Like Erin posted about, about a year ago, I had a sibling reach out to me. My brother and I would talk on the phone when he was driving to work and we’d video chat too. At some point it became a weekly event I really looked forward to. After my initial excitement of him being in my life again, I began to notice how most of our hours-long conversations were all about him. Rarely did he ask about me, but I knew he'd had it tougher growing up. So it made sense that he was needy, and since I had "all I want, all I needed," I didn't need anything from him. I was honestly glad I had the opportunity to give to him. Soon his neediness wasn't just emotional support (listening to his problems, or just him talking about things I didn't care about but wanted him to have someone who cared), it began showing up in his financial neediness. 

Without getting into much detail, he needed to borrow money, so I loaned him a fairly sizeable amount, but very soon after—I told him I forgave the debt —partly because I knew he'd never be able to pay it back, and I doubted he'd even try if I am being honest. 

Then, for his birthday, I went all out, and it felt great. Shortly after, it was my birthday. Truth be told, I never expected him to be able to do much, but again, since I have "all I wanted, all I needed," I really didn't need anything from him like a gift. But what I didn't expect was not to hear from him on my birthday. Almost a week went by, and still no word. I even texted and left voice messages as usual, but I heard nothing back. Nothing. What happened? 

Like most women do, especially those of us who are desperate to do the right thing and live a life that is pleasing to our Husband, being read by all men, I kept asking my Husband what to do. I did feel hurt. I wouldn't be human if I didn't. But each time, it was only a slight hurt because, again, like most of you, I have "all I want, all I need," so I really didn't need anything from him or anyone. 

Then, all of a sudden, not only did God reveal something about this relationship but several relationships (one after another He passed through my mind) where He almost flipped what I’d perceived or understood completely upside down or maybe like seeing the mirror image of what I’d believed. 

Isn't everything that's spiritual the opposite of the way the world sees things? For example, if we lack, He says to give. He says if someone wants to take something, give them more. So what if, what if, this entire turning the heart thing, what if it's them, the other person who's missing out? What if God turns their heart, but it's them who's imprisoned, not us? What if they're the ones God is punishing, and we've believed, we have been looking at it the wrong way around? 

Let's take this to an extreme. Let's say we are wounded so horribly from the unkindness or rudeness or selfishness of the other person to the point we have to be hospitalized. We are even put in the ICU or Intensive Care Unit. This is a ward where only a few people, those closest to us, those who love us the most, and those who will be very careful are allowed in. Everyone else can't even visit. 

The same is true during rehabilitation or physical therapy, let's say, emotional therapy. No one but the most kind and loving are “allowed” to visit by order of our Physician. Do you see how special He wants us to feel? Do you see what He's done for us? It's not us who's lost out, it's them. 

Now, I don't say this because I'm arrogant or prideful, even if that's what you think. The reason is He is in me. He is my everything. He pours His love and kindness on me every day, and even His endless resources abound in me, so when someone is close to me (and to you too if you're a true bride of His and not just something you call yourself), His love and everything He gives me will spill over onto them. Doesn’t it say, "...pressed down, shaken together, and running over”?

“Pressed down and overflowing" is what He says about giving, right? So today, when I least expected it, the partner promise for 2023 rang true "Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty and marvelous and wondrous things, which you do not know…things to come, things you could never figure out on your own, remarkable secrets…“ J333 and all of a sudden I knew, I just knew this remarkable secret! All those cold hearts, even some people over the years that had hardened hearts towards me, it was all part of His “Protective Order” because He doesn't want anyone in my life who isn't going to treat me kindly and cherish me the way He wants me, His bride, treated to be in my life! Even the few times I experienced my own heart being turned, I realized the secret just now, it's again, so my heart isn't hurt. He cares that much! 

Now, all of this might feel a bit far-fetched or maybe even downright wrong, but before you dismiss it. Give your Husband a chance to pull out parts that just might make your life as His bride a bit more special. And for heaven's sake, say something in the comments. Don't be rude and just come here and take, or you might find yourselves like dozens of other women, many of them ministers and translators, who were once basking in this honeymoon haven but then found their hearts turned away or even hardened so they left. None of us are immune, right?

Please be sure to Journal

11 thoughts on “HHM C8 “Order of Protection””

  1. Let me be the first to share that this is an amazing chapter. As the publisher, I am excited to publish this book as soon as it is done. I hope you will let me know which chapters are ready to add to the website so I can put them out there and once the book is done, we can publish it so more women can be blessed by this and many other beautiful chapters. I confess I should have shared the other chapters that were available sooner. I am hoping He will bless you double for my negligence. Your chapter on https://loveatlast.org/hhm/tdh/ is the one I probably share the most when I encourage women who are hurting. If the chapter is so powerful, how much if we have it all published as an eBook.

  2. I like the way the Lord has shown you things, turning them around from how we commonly think it is.

    I can identify with the desire to understand where I was wrong or what caused the relationship to break down. I believe that as women we appreciate and try to take care of relationships much more than men. I suppose that is why God orders them to treat us as “more fragile vessels”.

    I love the way He puts it, we are His beloved Bride who requires special care when we have been wounded so the fact that He removes their hard hearts from us at that time is necessary for our healing, as well as attracting the most loving people towards us to encourage us and encourage us in the things we need most.

    This is true, when I am in difficult moments the last thing I want is someone saying harsh things like “I told you so” or “It’s your fault” anyway… even if it’s true all we want and need is compassion and mercy, Just as Job needed it in his most difficult and regrettable moment, he did not even have it from his wife… in his case, I believe that God wanted to be that soft heart to encourage Him personally 💖

    The chapter encourages me to be a loving friend, I must confess that I am not, I trust that my Beloved will continue to change me to be the type of friend that HE will call upon and use to encourage others in their greatest times of need.

  3. Thank you for sharing this chapter. I know now my earthly husband’s heart was hardened towards me when he divorced me (now I understand it was for my own good), but then I didn’t want to let go and he became like a drug to me. It became a terrible cycle and every time my earthly husband would come back after choosing the world he would say the Lord said to Him if he hurts me again, it is over and I remember saying to the Lord I can’t take all this hurt from my earthly husband any more and now I know I received the Lord’s “Order of Protection”, right out of my Darling’s hand. And this is why I am separated from my earthly husband, because of my Darling Lord’s love for me and yes He is letting me feel very special. I enjoy every second with Him, all I need and ever want is Him.

  4. Thank you for sharing this chapter. How beautiful it is to see our Beloved’s love and care for our lives. He lovingly places us in this ICU out of love, so that we can only be surrounded by people He allows… that’s so romantic, so coming from Him, isn’t it? Now I can understand why many people no longer want to have contact with me, in fact this is His desire, for me to feel how special I am to Him.🥰
    Oh yes, I belong to my Beloved and He is mine!!!❤️

  5. Gracias Paula, Que bello es sentir su Amor y su Protección. En los últimos días mi Esposo me ha dado entender que está batalla no es de nosotras si no de Él, es como si me dijera quédate a un lado porque lo que “ellos hacen” no te lo están haciendo a tí si no a mí, así que no tengas miedo, si yo permitió que una persona salga de tu vida es mi manera de protegerte ( como lo dices tú en este capítulo, pone a regir su orden de Protección) es mi manera de que el mal sea destruido para siempre en tu vida.
    Ahora descanso aún más en sus brazos y En su compañía sabiendo que Él tiene todo bajo control.
    Thank you Paula, How beautiful it is to feel your Love and Protection. In recent days my Husband has given me to understand that this battle is not ours but His, it is as if he told me to stay aside because what “they do” they are not doing to you but to me, so don’t be afraid, if I allowed a person to leave your life it is my way of protecting you (as you say in this chapter, it puts his Protection order in effect) it is my way of ensuring that evil is destroyed forever in your life.
    Now I rest even more in his arms and in his company knowing that He has everything under control.

  6. Wow. En lisant ce Chapître j’ai due le lire en anglais en francais repassé sur le passage a trois 4 reprise.
    Ce n’est pas que je n’avais pas compris mais je suis vraiment eblouie par la maniere dont Jésus considere son épouse.
    Voici un verset que tu pourras rajouter.
    2 Corinthiens 11:2 ►
    Versets Parallèles
    Louis Segond Bible
    Car je suis jaloux de vous d’une jalousie de Dieu, parce que je vous ai fiancés à un seul époux, pour vous présenter à Christ comme une vierge pure.

    La partie qui m’a fait booster c’est
    ” ou tu dis ne vous occuper plus de votre mari ne pensez plus a eux alors que hier c’etait la pagaille dans mes pensées voilà que Dieu me parlent au travers de ce chapitre.

    En regardant, le comportement de mon mari son silence, je ne me soucis plus, avanr cela me faisait il refuse meme mon café et cela ne me fait plus rien. Meme son silence pour moi est une benediction je peux passer plus de temps sur encouaging woman.

    Je me rejouis quand il est dans son coin a facebooker la moi j’ai le temps pour les cours j’ai le temps pour prier.

    Sois benis
    Ce chapitre mérite 💫💫💫💫💫 5 etoile car tu définis bien le coeur de notre Beloved husband.

    Wow. While reading this Chapter I had to read it in English in French, going over the passage three times 4 times.
    It’s not that I didn’t understand, but I am truly dazzled by the way in which Jesus considers his bride.
    Here is a verse you can add.
    2 Corinthians 11:2 ►
    Parallel Verses
    New International Version
    For I am jealous over you with the jealousy of God, because I have betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ.

    The part that gave me a boost was
    “where you say you no longer take care of your husband, don’t think about them anymore, whereas yesterday there was chaos in my thoughts, now God is speaking to me through this chapter.

    Looking at my husband’s behavior, his silence, I no longer care, before it made me he even refuses my coffee and that no longer matters to me. Even his silence for me is a blessing I can spend more time on encouraging woman.

    I rejoice when he is in his corner Facebooking me I have time for classes I have time to pray.

    Be blessed
    This chapter deserves 💫💫💫💫💫 5 stars because you clearly define the heart of our Beloved husband.

  7. Muy oportuno capitulo, hoy y bueno en realidad desde anoche estoy en medio de pruebas y vi como mi amado me.quito del camino al querer mudarme a casa de una amiga y me.dio un no rotundo, fue algo así como su orden de protección, porque ella está en el mundo y me invitaría a ello de a poco, me quiere tener apartada y protegida de lo que me dañe y de lo que me aleje de él, por eso me dijo te quedas en tu casa, todo salió mal porque obvio confíe en mí y resolví en la carne, y desde este lunes mi carne anda al millón porciento y he pensado cosas que yo no haría, pero el enemigo es astuto y te pone pensamientos que no debo retener.
    Solo él puede volver los corazones, yo solo puedo orar y confiar en mi amado, en sus tiempos y en sus planes, y hoy nuevamente lo vi como me probó en mi fé y confianza en él, al perder mi identificación y para un extranjero eso es terrible, en un lugar y al darme cuenta tuve que regresar, no me estrese como antes, no sé cómo pero tenía una calma inusual, fui a los lugares por dónde había pasado y en el baño del restaurante se había caído, alguien la agarró y la entrega a administración y cuando fui, la tenían gracias a mi amado que movió muchos corazones para no perderla, implicaba un montón de trámites y hasta denuncia de extravío, aparte del monto de reposición, sólo él puede obrar de esa manera 🙏🏻 toda la gloria y alabanzas para él 🙏🏻

    Very timely chapter, today and well actually since last night I am in the middle of tests and I saw how my beloved got me out of the way when I wanted to move to a friend’s house and she gave me a resounding no, it was something like her protection order , because she is in the world and she would invite me to it little by little, she wants to keep me separated and protected from what harms me and what distances me from him, that’s why she told me, stay at home, everything went wrong because Obviously I trusted myself and I decided in the flesh, and since this Monday my flesh is running at a million percent and I have thought things that I would not do, but the enemy is cunning and gives you thoughts that I should not retain.
    Only he can turn hearts, I can only pray and trust in my beloved, in his times and in his plans, and today I saw him again how he tested me in my faith and trust in him, by losing my identification and for a foreigner that It’s terrible, in one place and when I realized I had to go back, I didn’t stress like before, I don’t know how but I had an unusual calm, I went to the places where I had passed and in the bathroom of the restaurant it had fallen, someone grabbed it and the delivery to administration and when I went, they had it thanks to my beloved who moved many hearts not to lose it, it involved a lot of procedures and even reporting a loss, apart from the replacement amount, only He can act that way 🙏🏻 all glory and praise to Him 🙏🏻

  8. A while ago my Husband showed me that He allowed the breakdown and divorce to get me out of a 4 year downward spiral of self-destruction. HE turned my fh heart away from me to put me in hospital where I was only surrounded by Him and my closest family members and friends to go through a healing process. If my Husband did not step in and took me out, I do not know where I would have ended up. A while later He put me in ICU when He also took my children away for a season, that was where most healing took place and in the process my heart started to turn, but PTL my heart didn’t get hard. He also took away some of my family members and friends, only the ones that really cared about me remained. It was His intense healing of all my childhood hurts and hurt that happened later on in my life, up until the end of my marriage. During this time He gave me a new heart and put a new spirit.

    Before my journey started my heart mostly got hardened when it turned, which ended up not being a good thing over the years and contributed to a lot of destruction in my life. I noticed that when He turns my heart now, my heart do not become hardened, because He helps me to forgive in the process, and He helps me to have a heart of flesh and not of stone. And now I have my Beloved who protects my new heart, I do not have to do it myself by building walls.

  9. Oh, wow. The truth of this revelation rings clear in my spirit. It is so like my Husband to only allow people around me that will be kind or encouraging. I can also see how He is turning my heart so that I am not wounded easily. I can share His love out of the abundance of my heart to even the most hard hearted barista or passerby. But yes, He is careful to protect my joy! After all, He is thrilled that I am radiant in His love, and would never want me to loose that.

  10. Eu realmente precisei ler esse capítulo duas vezes.. eu fiquei confusa no início, e comecei a pensar, mas se essa jornada não tem nada a ver comigo e sim com o marido terreno (não, não estou a tentar defender me ), coloco assim para que entendam

    Embora no início de minha Jornada, eu tenho aceeditado piamente em como eu fui tola, e fui inresponsável , depois de ler sobre esse capítulo, fez me realmente pensar que posso estar a ser protegida pelo meu Marido Celestial! Ele é o único que sabe verdadeiramente tudo sobre mim, e ainda assim me ama, Ele é o único que nunca foi embora, Ele é o único que sabe onde dói, e onde não dói! Ninguém poderia me tratar com tanta compaixão a não ser Elel!

    Eu digo sempre a todas as queridas amigas que Ele me enviou para que eu pudesse ajuda las, e eu sempre digo : somos privilegiados, só que agora não vemos.. mas para frente entendemos! Creio que já estou a entender mais ou menos! Mas porei esse assunto na mesa, no próximo Jantar romântico que eu tiver com meu Amor 🧡

    Obrigada Paula. Irei ler todos os outros 💙

    I really needed to read this chapter twice… I was confused at first, and I started to think, but if this journey has nothing to do with me and everything to do with my earthly husband (no, I’m not trying to defend myself), I put it this way so that they understand

    Although at the beginning of my Journey, I have come to terms with how foolish I was, and how irresponsible I was, after reading about this chapter, it really made me think that I may be being protected by my Heavenly Husband! He is the only one who truly knows everything about me, and still loves me, He is the only one who never left, He is the only one who knows where it hurts, and where it doesn’t hurt! No one could treat me with such compassion other than Elel!

    I always tell all my dear friends that He sent me so that I could help them, and I always say: we are privileged, but now we don’t see it… but in the future we understand! I think I now understand more or less! But I will put this issue on the table, at the next romantic dinner I have with my Love🧡

    Thank you Paula. I will read all the others💙

  11. This is SPOT ON I’ve been having a real tough time with trying to understand my total lack of interest in reaching out or trying to please act or have any encounters with my EH or in laws I told my HH I’m really hurt and I need healing and he told me that I was in the ICU . This is just confirmation! These are my notes and the scripture he gave me was Jeremiah 33:6 I am going to bring it recovery and healing I will heal them and reveal to them abundance of prosperity and security.

    Intensive Care Unit

    “I’m taking you to the intensive care unit and I am going to personally take care of you after all the people who tried to destroy you I will repair the damage “

    ICU cares for people who have life-threatening conditions, such as a serious injury or illness, where they receive around-the-clock monitoring and life support. It differs from other hospital wards in that:
    * ICU provides 24-hour care from a highly-trained team of specialists
    * there are fewer beds, with lots of equipment to monitor and care for critically ill patients
    * fewer visitors are allowed

    How do patients feel in the ICU?

    Feelings of being ‘completely out of control’ in intensive care were common because many people were unable to do anything for themselves. Others explained how being so weak made them feel they were like children again as they had to re-learn how to do many normal daily activities.

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