I Cried Out Day After Day

♕ Today's Promise: "He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it." Matthew 10:39

~ Arabella in Canada

☊ PRAISE Audio

Dear Brides,
"To lose your life, You have got to lose it all losers get the crown."

Well simply put for sometime I have felt like a failure, a loser, I did not want to be separated, divorced and raising another broken generation. Yet I have to remember that the LORD had a plan all along and he answered every one of my prayers, just not the way I expected, as I had to lose my life in order to find it. The abundant life."

Yes, I have felt that excruciating pain, that has had me crying out to the LORD on my face. The pain I thought I would not escape, yet He heard my cry and plea. And living the abundant life is part of living through theses experiences walking hand in hand with Him. As Michelle, says that she knew GOD WAS IN COMPLETE CONTROL and NO MATTER WHAT happened the LORD was all she (I) needed. LORD you are all I need, all I want, and all I live for.

Her desire of wanting her marriage restored was once about nonliving with the shame of separation, then divorce and parenting single. Me too, and I was laser focused on my FH (former husband) and praying, fasting and warring in the spirit, which I believe it had its place. But even when I heard the LORD telling me to "let go," months ago or I would push this to the surface, I KEPT FASTING AND PRAYING FERVENTLY. I know this may have been what He needed to do to get a hold of me to FULLY surrender and LET GO of my FH and for my heart to completely turn towards my HH (Heavenly Husband).

I would say that Letting go is by far the hardest principle to understand, as it is not a mental principle but a heart principle. I thought I let go, but I had not. I kept my heart connected to my FH this past year while applying all of the other principles. So painful, but so necessary in order for our HH to have all of us, and for Him to be all we need, and all we live for. Goodness right now, I literally desire no man in my life except the Lord!!!

When I cried out day after day, HE did answer!!

"God created mankind to fellowship with Him."

I too wanted to be loved, cherished and valued by my EH (earthly husband) and put these unreasonable expectations on him that only the LORD can heal and fulfill. Wow I never thought you we could even live a life like this without a man. You see I came into my marriage with a significant wound of abandonment, and rejection which then manifested into many areas of my life, mostly into my marriage. I want to feel, loved, cherished, like a beautiful bride, the way our HH (Heavenly Husband) meant for each one of us beautiful brides. Not pining over a man. truly not one man in my life has ever filled any of those needs. Only in this last season of losing everything I knew to keep me safe was when I finally surrendered to the Lord.

To fellowship with the Lord the way He deserved.

You know as soon as my focus shifted to fully surrender to the Lord, when my heart was FINALLY broken enough when my FH explained he will be intruding the OW (other woman) to my children and from what I learned through the principles, I could not fight in the flesh but surrender to Him. Wow!!

A man (single) from my sons baseball team who knew of our situation, I did not tell him. Emailed me and asked me on a date!!! It confirmed in my spirit again, NO, Lord you are ALL I WANT AND ALL I NEED. I HAVE NO DESIRE FOR ANY MAN!!

What a different place to be, yes do I desire my family to be healed, and children not to have a broken home, absolutely, but yet I will also allow the LORD's will to be done and allow Him to be in control.

I will be saying every time I feel a wince of pain in my spirit because I am looking at the circumstances. Lord you are ALL I NEED and ALL I want and ALL I live for!!

Changing my focus to my HH (Heavenly Husband) first in mind and then for my heart to follow is not something you can explain but something that just happens once I just fully surrendered.

In order to find your life, you must lose it.

Above all live for His glory

The LORD is all I need all I live for and all I want!!!

Do not ficus on your restoration but on your HH giving Him all the attention, walking with Him and communing with Him everyday all day. Do not tell people details of your situation, share your tears with Him and see what He does!!

"He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it." Matthew 10:39

“‘For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake, but My lovingkindness will not be removed from you, and My covenant of peace will not be shaken,’ says the Lord who has compassion on you.” Isaiah 54:10.

He will show you, before it happens, that your world, as you know it, is about to fall just as He did with me.

“Do not tremble and do not be afraid; have I not long since announced it to you and declared it? And you are My witnesses! Is there any God besides Me, Or is there any other Rock? I know of none.” Isaiah 44:8

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