In my children’s book that I’ve been writing, My First Love “Closer than a Brother,” I shared that I had to get home on my own, taking public buses, navigating through Hollywood to the Valley where we lived. Ever since then, I have wanted to be at home where I felt safe. And yet, because of His plan for my life, He's had me continuously moving— and even at one point, He asked me to let go everything that I owned so that I only had the three suitcases!
After letting go of everything I owned, He also had me let go of my own country—moving to Europe—not even knowing when or if I'd ever return. That’s because God doesn't let you know those things, you just have to trust Him and follow His lead.
After a few months living in Europe, I ended up letting go of more. While in Ireland, He told me to let go of my smallest suitcase and the fluffy robe that was so comforting. Next, when I left for Spain, moving out of an apartment I shared with a ministry team member in Switzerland, He asked me to leave my largest suitcase, along with my “full-length mink coat” you may have read about it A Wise Woman. With just one suitcase and without a “home” to return to, a place where I felt safe (which is what I mentioned in the children's book) I never gave it much thought. To really ponder and talk to Him about the significance of this journey He’s taken me on for a very, very long time. All my life really.
After really pondering my journey, as I was running around doing errands and just following His lead (because I had no plans whatsoever of going out and I personally would have preferred staying home the entire day—but of course, He says, “man plans his way, but God directs his steps”) I did venture out. So once again, rather than just relaxing at (my current) “home” after a really wonderfully productive but exhausting week of ministering, I ended up feeling led to get dressed.
Then, as I began driving from one place to another, I continued to smile and let out a deep sigh (like the lovesick bride I am)— just enjoying every single moment of spending time with Him, whatever He wants us to do, wherever He wants me to go. As I always do, I just imagined He's sitting right here in the car next to me, and I began tearing up, thanking Him for the opportunity to live like this. To be living here and living the life that I am living. That’s when I caught myself saying, “for as long as I'm here,” and I thought—what a gift!
You know, so many people want to “settle down” and find their “forever home,” but this world is not our home. We are sojourners–travelers— and I'm just an extreme example of this fact. Of course, many other people live like this but for different reasons. Nevertheless, it is a rarity not to have a home, not having a home that I can't go home to. So this means that when I am tired from traveling, He is my rest. When I want to feel the security of a home and be surrounded by familiar things, items I may have grown up with, I can’t because they’ve been given away.
I can't find that type of security. The type of security that, as a child, is where I found my serenity and rest. Now, as I begin my 14th year of letting go of everything, I “put away childish things.” not because of anything that I did, but it’s what He did and how He helped me grow to this point in my life.
Now my happiness, my security, my rest is where I am with Him, which I suppose will continue throughout all eternity. That’s why I love to ponder and think that by living like this, I can appreciate every single moment of my life and everything that He does for me and every moment that I have—wherever I am. Though I'm confident that I will not be here, in this house, forever because it isn't my home. Because I don't have a home, I don't have furniture; I don't have any appliances, I don't have anything but a few suitcases and a couple of other things that He led me to buy, which I travel with —having only what fits nicely and easily into my car. I know I'm leaving here at some point, therefore, it helps me appreciate every solitary day, every moment, every experience, and living like this IS Living the Abundant Life!
So many people only live like this when they encounter a true life-and-death situation— but many of you, most of you, had felt like you were close to death when your husband left. The time in your life when you felt like the pain that you were going through was a sign you were going to die. But now you’ve experienced how much GOD used it for so much good and that most of the time, I personally feel like I could fly— I feel like I'm Walking on Air. I feel like I could simply float away into the clouds.
Currently, in the house that I'm renting right now, He’s blessed me with my own backyard pool and in the afternoons, I relax on a floating device and drift around the pool as I listen to historical novels from 1855. Then He went above and beyond to the point I often tear up because He led me to spend my evening PS123 (reading/while listening to my Bible) while floating—it feels like I died and went to heaven!!
Each and every time, I can’t help but think just how blessed I am and that THIS, this is Living the Abundant Life! An Abundant Life that I want every single one of you to live. I want you to live life this way and when you do, you can't help but want to tell everyone just how they can have an abundant life—no matter what their circumstances. Whether you have a home or you don't because He is our home, our security, and our rest. No, you don’t need to live as I do, don’t let the enemy LIE to you. Each of us is called for a different, unique, and special purpose and NO ONE is more important or less important to Him. No one. Not me, not you.
So, today, dear beautiful bride, I hope that each of you will do exactly as I am doing—simply appreciating every single moment, traveling with Him to do everything— doing your errands with Him, shopping with Him, being surprised by Him. Trust me, it's just the best life ever!
Unleashing the TRUTH