"An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband." (1C734)
Over the last two days I heard this statement from two different divorced brides who received backlash from Christians who said that the way they live with their HH and sharing about their Husband and the Abundant Life is promoting or advocating divorce.
After seeking my Husband this is what He showed me:
I will never promote, or advocate divorce and I believe in marriage and marriage restoration (you just have to read the WOT series to know nothing is impossible with God).
But like me, many had no choice in the matter. Yes, I prayed against the divorce, I prayed for my marriage, I fought for my marriage, and I found RMI in my search for help. But in the end the Lord allowed the divorce to go through.
After the divorce I had two choices; follow the way of the world and move on to maybe a second or third marriage (and expose my children to it) OR follow the Lord and find my Heavenly Husband and live the Abundant Life with Him and surrender to His will (and finding my children's Heavenly Father).
I choose the second option and never looked back. I don't know what He have planned for me regarding restoration, but I am more than fine where I am with Him now, but His will, not mine. I love where He brought me, I love the peace and the joy that I am experiencing despite so many trials. He brought me through each and every trial and I love Him even more for it.
If your Heavenly Husband is showing you something to share, please add it in the comment section below.
Thank you Adina for bringing up this topic. As you know I also went thru a divorce and thinking back that was the time that l really started to look for my HH. I went thru a time of fasting and prayer because l longed to have what so many women had. The joy and peace and love of my HH. When He revealed himself to me and l felt that joy of being His bride is when l felt happiest l had ever felt in my life. I felt secure, loved and well taken care of and provided for and l felt that if He did not restore l would be OK. I always said your will be done. And HE did restore. That was HIS decision not mine.
Speaking from my experience l never felt that Finding the Abundant Life hindered my Restoration. I felt that it helped me to have a HH who was with me and helping me each step of the way.
I made so many mistakes that l was done with the things that l wanted and the decisions l made because what l wanted never brought me peace or joy or prosperity…
But when l made that decision to surrender my life completely to His will thats when I started seeing my life change for the good in all areas. Only He truly knows best for us.
Thank you for sharing Atarah, it is a difficult question. But we need our Heavenly Husband to fulfil us whether we are married, separated or divorced. Looking for the love we so desperately need from anybody else, will not fill the void that we have inside. We are made to fellowship with the Lord and to have Him in His rightful position in our hearts, nobody else must come before Him, that is when we will experience the unconditional love we yearn for. Human love is conditional. When our relationship with Him is first, everything else will fall into place and we can love others with the same unconditional love He showers on us.
When I came to this ministry, I was devastated, I never thought that I would ever be happy again. My former husband made it very clear that there is no way he is coming back and I was thinking of taking my own life. I found the book Restore your marriage through a friend and in my own strength I did everything according to the book and His word. Only after I started reading The Abundant Life, was I able to let go, and then it was like the principles started coming naturally to me because I had such a close relationship with my Heavenly Husband.
My eh still left, still divorced me, even though I did everything correctly. I will never forget his message to me that day, he said: “I wish I had your peace”. I had to realize that not everything that happens to me, is just for me and that I had to know He had a plan for me that was beyond what I could see.
I also want to add to every lady reading this, that since living this abundant life with Him, I have never looked back, I have never felt so loved in my whole life and if He chooses to never restore my marriage, I am happy to be with only Him. All that matters is His will and what I want is not important anymore. I am the first person that will tell you, your children will thrive when they have their mother and father married in the same house, but I will also be the first to tell you, that sometimes things happen to us and we have no choice in the matter. Now we can either live an unhappy live holding on to something and being miserable or we can sit with our Heavenly Husband in the sun and live a wonderful life without regrets and just let Him do what He needs to do.
A practical example of this could be this: when my children started visiting their dad and I was alone every second weekend, I missed them terribly but I decided that I will not sit and wait for them to come back, I will make the most of my time alone and enjoy every moment with my Heavenly Husband. That way I was never sad and crying but always enjoying my time alone with Him. I believe this is what it is like with everything, we have what have at this moment, will we be sad about it, or will we take every day and enjoy it to the fullest so we don’t look back in regret on so much wasted time waiting.
I agree with you Yvonne and I experienced the same, when I found the Lord as my Heavenly Husband, the principles came naturally. Before that I was trying to live it out in the flesh, and failed many times because I was working in the flesh.
And yes, if He allows the divorce to go through, it is part of a greater plan He has for us, for His glory. His ways are higher than our ways.
And I agree with you fully, when I lost full custody and in the period, I was a weekend mom, my Heavenly Husband filled that void of not having my children with me. He was always there with me during that journey which had the potential to break me. But holding on to our HH during trails like this, is what carry us through and even makes our valleys enjoyable. Looking back now, I will not exchange that year for anything.
Strong question!! I must confess that when I moved from C2 to the Abundant Life Courses I had to do them twice to understand that I must go to my first love first to be truly happy!! The Lord restored my marriage in 2019, 2 years after I started my journey here!!
The truth is that restored or not is we do not understand the Abundant life that the Lord wants to give as our Heavenly Husband, we will never enjoy true joy and hope!!
Our happiness comes from Him!!!
Agreed, whether we are married, restored, unmarried or divorced, we need His everlasting, unconditional love to fill the void we have inside. Looking for conditional human love will not fill that void we have inside. Our happiness, whatever our marital status or situation, comes from our Heavenly Husband.
I agree with you, no one can make us feel as loved and fulfilled as our Celestial Husband, we all have a unique journey, the Lord knows why and for what purpose he allows us to go through separation, divorce or restoration, because only He knows what is that our heart or that of our spouse or ex-spouse needs to be healed.
Our Husband loves marriage and it is the model He used to refer to His relationship with the church / His bride, so it is something of great value to HIM and it is to us. I am reminded of a RYM lesson (Chapter 11) that Erin encourages to share about the weaknesses that led us to divorce and encourage women to stay married so as not to encourage divorce within the church.
I don’t know the case, but perhaps the people who judge them don’t know the other part of the testimony of those ladies who started fighting for their marriage and who have been restored to the Lord and simply embraced His will by remaining only for HIM. To many it will seem crazy, but we already knew that by following our Husband we could seem crazy and be judged.
I agree Anastasia, and thank for sharing what He showed you. The Lord has a unique journey and plan for us and our husbands / former husbands. We might not understand His ways, but it is higher than ours.
Our plans and dreams are so small compared to what He has for us.
Thank you for sharing the lesson, https://hopeatlast.com/c3/day-11-chapter-11-i-hate-divorce/, and I would like to encourage everybody that reads this posts and comments to go and read the lesson.
As for myself, I truly did need to go on this journey to take a hard look at myself and what I did that contributed to the destruction of my marriage. I needed to get on the Potter’s Wheel to get His makeover (https://hopeatlast.com/c2/d19-gods-makeover/)