This lesson was a reminder that we should not only trust Him for a restored life or any relationship to be restored, we must also obey His Word and His principles. If we are desperate enough to have a restored relationship with a child, family member or spouse, we must be willing to obey His Word no matter what.
We should not be double-minded but believe and then act on it. If we want a restored life or relationship, we must obey like a fanatic. We must trust that God is able and willing to restore our relationships.
The principals I've learned from this chapter, that I've been applying in all my relationships with His strength, because it's not so easy in the flesh, are:
Not talking to anybody about my situation or seek advice from anybody else. I used to be very good at running to others with any relationship problems, whether it was a relationship with a family member, friend or in my marriage. I used to seek comfort from others, hear them say that the other party is at fault and slandering them. Sharing too much detail about my situation. Or I would just go and seek advise from anybody else that was willing to listen and give well-meaning (wordly) advise. But since I started on this journey, I learned that we only need Him, our Lord and Heavenly Husband, we do not need anybody else. For the biggest part of my journey I only had Him and He was enough. He lead me through the darkest times and He gave me true comfort and healing because He is my Mighty Counsellor.
I used to fight when I was unhappy or hurt or confront whoever offended you. I was a real contentious woman and would stand up for myself, fight my own battles and was determined not to be anybody's doormat because I was a independent careerwomen. But He changed me so much, now I do not want to fight with anybody about anything, I just want to be at peace with everybody. During the custody battle, these two verses became very real to me and I saw how it can change situations: “Agree with your adversary quickly!” (Matt. 5:25, KJV). “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov. 15:1)
To speak kindly and have a gentle and quiet spirit. Once I was able to forgive, which I still have to do daily, I was able to treat whoever wronged me, without hate, anger or bitterness. And forgiveness gave me a gentle and quiet spirit. Here is my podcast series on forgiveness: Becoming His Bride. Forgiveness also helped me to see others as He sees them and to treat them in a understandable way, because we do not know what might have happened in their lives to cause them to do what they do or the pain they are carrying with them. Please also listen to wLL80 YouTube Podcast “Seeing Shadows“ I have seen the fruit of not speaking kindly to others out of hurt or anger, and from my experience it just pushes them further away and makes them more rebellious. But being able to speak kindly and radiating our HH love and being a epistle for His love, will draw others closer, wanting what we have,
Spying and following and listening to others who tells you what the person you love is up to, never have good results and it always used to cause me more harm than good. Not knowing keeps you in peace. I would rather spend that time with my Beloved, basking in His love for me and listen to Him and what He has to say, or spending time in His word.
Then I have also learned to never seek help from counsellors, pastors or even psychiatrists. I learned the hard way early in my life that it just doesn't help, you do not find true healing that can only be found in Him, our Beloved, our great Physician. I have also learned to not run to anybody for help, the few times I did without His leading, it only left me disappointed. I learned to wait for Him and if He wants help to come from somebody else, He will lead you to that person at the right time.
When I read about these principals the first time, I was shocked because it was everything I used to do, but PTL He takes us on a journey to change us and open our eyes to how we destroy relationships in our lives with our actions. It is not always easy to apply, and we need our Beloved to help us. This is a lesson that can be read over and over again, not just when you face a relationship crisis, but can also be applied to our existing relationships, broken or not.
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Thank you for sharing dear Adina, this was really me too, I learned so much from RMI and being quiet really gives me more peace, because if I think back the people I ran to gave me the advice they thought at that moment was right which had it’s consequences and only the Lord will give us the comfort we need.