“First to Throw a Stone” – RYR CH8

"First to Throw a Stone" was another hard lesson for me. I was always the one judging my former husband and the other woman for their sins, never even considering looking at myself and my own sin. I mean, I was not the one in adultery.

I really thought I could judge others for their sins because I saw myself as a Christian, but after finding RMI (Restore Ministries International) and going through the courses, I realized how self-righteous I had been all along. Reading the resources, I suddenly had to take a long, hard look at myself and my own sins.

I might not have been in physical adultery, but I was definitely in spiritual adultery and idolatry, putting my former husband, my children, and other things before the Lord, not making Him my First Love.

When I was the "victim" of others sins, judging them was even easier, but what I have learned is that unforgiveness causes us to judge others. But after I had to look at myself and my sins, and there were many, I came to realize that I had to forgive because of what Jesus did for me on the cross: He forgave my sins. He shed His blood for me and those who wronged me, so who am I not to extend the same forgiveness?

The following verse made a huge impact on me, and each time I want to judge or struggle with unforgiveness, I remind myself of this verse and the story of the adulterous women:

"He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone." John 8:7

A question that the author asks in this lesson and that also impacted me hugely is:

Adultery: Grounds for Divorce? or Opportunity for Forgiveness?

And the same can be asked for any sin: is it an opportunity for forgiveness or to judge and condemn the person?

No matter what was done against us, we must forgive, and not just once; we must forgive 70x7 times for the same sin. Unforgiveness makes us bitter and affects our lives. It is a heavy burden we carry with us, locking ourselves up in a prison of pain and sorrow. Even worse, if we do not forgive, our Father in Heaven will not forgive us, and that is reason enough to forgive.

Even if the person who wronged us never asks for forgiveness, we must forgive.

We cannot look at the sins of others and say, Well, we've never done that, so we are not that bad. Sin is sin, and we need to look at our own sins before we judge others for theirs.

There is another verse I want to add here from the lesson, because it includes a list of sins, and I saw some of my own in the verse: "Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, drunkenness, carousing, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, and envying" (Gal. 5:19–20).

We also do not need to take revenge or vengeance into our own hands; we can let it go and leave vengeance in the hands of God. But we mustn't sit and wait and rejoice when vengeance falls upon them because that will displease God. Spying on and following your spouse or child who is in sin is also something we do not have to do. At the right time, God will reveal what we need to know, but until then, He is protecting us for a reason.

Forgiveness might not be easy, but if you are struggling with it like I did, ask Him to help you to forgive.

What did your Heavenly Husband show you in this lesson? Is unforgiveness something that you are currently struggling with?

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Please share what He showed you in the lesson in the comments below, post your praise, or complete your journal.