~  Yvonne in South Africa is our Afrikaans’ Minister who eventually felt the aftermath of being raised in a non-Christian home with divorced parents in her own marriage. Her insatiable appetite for God’s Word serves as encouragement and inspiration to us all.

Afrikaans Minister And also RMI’s Director of Operations

#Yvonne

Hi, I am Yvonne and I live in South Africa. I am the youngest of five children. My parents divorced when I was around three years old and my mom had to raise us alone on a very small salary. Although we sometimes attended church, I did not grow up in a Christian home. I have two young children, ages 3 and 5.  If it wasn't for God leading me to this ministry, my life would have been disastrous. For years, I had been foolishly tearing my house down with my own hands without realizing it. I thought I was the model wife. I thought I was the model mother. Herein lies the problem “I”— everything was about what “I” thought and how “I” felt. I tried filling the emptiness with all kinds of things: I even contemplated committing suicide because of this giant void I had in my heart.

The other issue is that my husband was more important to me than anything else, and I would do anything to please him. However, I never felt that it was reciprocated. I found myself daydreaming that I would be rescued by a “knight in shining armor” from my unhappy marriage. As the American saying goes, "be careful of what you wish for".... one day my “wish” came true and my husband became involved with another woman who was separated from her husband, and wanted my husband to divorce me. That’s when he told me he never loved me and wasn't sure why he ever married me.

I wasn’t supposed to find out about his relationship with the OW until after both their divorces were finalized. They were planning to pretend as if they met and dated afterward. This, and so many other things, left me feeling empty. I tried filling the emptiness with all kinds of things, as I said, I even contemplated committing suicide because of this giant void I had in my heart.

Feeling hopeless, I went to church for the first time in years. The pastor prayed with me after church service, and encouraged me to believe and pray for the restoration of my marriage. I became full of hope that my marriage situation would be turned around for the better. I thought about one of my co-workers (who had an intimate relationship with God), so I approached her the day after church service. She was who introduced me to How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage (RYM). My eyes and heart at last received the truth, and within a week of reading the biblical principles detailed in the book, my house became peaceful.

The more I began reading RYM, the more I craved for more of God's Word. I read the additional RMI books: Wise Woman (WW), By the Word of Their Testimony, and Erica Kramer - My Restoration Journey. And I also signed up for the first course afterward reading everything I could find. A big change was that I began reading the Bible for the first time in my life. I had (and still have) a hunger for the Bible that I never had before. Before this journey, I did not read my Bible so when I finally craved it, the Word of God became like a treasure to me— full of beautiful promises and life lessons.

I began learning so many things from God's Word and saw that God's Word is always current. I confess that some of the principles in RYM and WW books were hard to follow. It was hard for me to have a gentle and quiet spirit when I knew my husband was in contact with the OW while we were still living under the same roof. I had to pray about a lot of things before God gave me a peace in my heart. Prior to taking the Rebuilder's Course in particular, I felt so unworthy and unrighteous. I felt responsible for the mess I created in my life and allowed the enemy to use me to do his work to cause me to stop.

That’s when I realized if I was to move forward in my life, I needed to be able to forgive not only my husband, but myself. I needed a lot of healing: My father had died over 18 years earlier, but my mother died just 3 weeks before my wedding. The guilt came because I was at the hospital, sitting in my car when she died while I was waiting for her to be transported to another hospital. I was going to follow behind the ambulance, but she died before they had a chance to put her in it. I had such a huge sense of guilt because she died alone. She died without someone holding her hand. Up until coming here, I never forgave myself for not being with her before she died. For the longest time, I was sad and depressed about my mother’s death and I took out my feelings on my husband; I was unnecessarily cruel to him. I did not let him know how I was feeling about my mother’s death. I got angry at him for not knowing why I was sad and depressed. I eventually revealed my feelings to my husband by screaming at him, yet he was a good man and would always comfort me. Yes ladies that was me!  My husband knew a woman the world never saw. How could I ever blame him for leaving me if I did not even want to live with me?

It was through the Rebuilder’s Course that God made me realize that we are forgiven and saved only through His mercy and grace. Nothing, I or anyone else, could do can change that fact.

As I clung closer to God, my trials became more heated. My husband eventually moved out of our house shortly after I was led to this ministry. However, God had prepared me for that day so I would not be surprised or fall apart. Although I apologized to my husband for my share of our marital problems, he continued to tell me that he didn't love me. Even though he began to recognize the changes God was making in me, he continued to sing the same song - that he didn't love me. He said that there might have been a chance for us IF I had made these changes five years ago, but now it was too late.

My husband has never believed in God and always questioned God's existence. My husband was in the police service, and thus is exposed and seen many things he shouldn't have. He never understood how God could exist and allow those things to happen.

About a week before my husband asked me to sign our divorce papers, God gave me a few promises. He promised me that it was not in His will for me to get divorced, for “He hates divorce” and “what He has bound together, let no man separate.”  Right before leaving with my husband to sign the divorce papers, I cried out to the Lord for a scripture as comfort. I opened up my Bible and read the first highlighted scripture, which was Matthew 9:22: "And Jesus turned and said Have hope daughter, your faith has rescued you." To know that He loved me is more than I can ever fathom and more than any person will ever love me. It leaves me speechless even now, and now that the papers are signed, I can rest knowing whatever happens, it’s in God’s hands. 🙂

I thank God so much for this ministry and the partners who made it possible for me to take the ministry courses. I thank the Lord for drawing me closer to Him, despite the mistakes I made. I am so enjoying the time that I get to spend with Him, alone. A huge benefit from the Lord. If I am called to fast I don't have to explain it. I can enter my prayer closet at anytime and talk to the Lord. The feeling I have inside of me cannot be expressed in words. In all my life, I have never experienced so much love than I am experiencing now. It is so freeing to know that God has control over everything in my life, both the good and the bad. He told me that I am His bride and the most important day in my life now is May 5th, the day I became His bride. Wow, yes my Lord, You are right. This is the day that I will forever cherish in my heart.

I would definitely recommend the RYM book and WW workbook books to ALL women, whether or not the woman is in a marital crisis or not. Being obedient to our Heavenly Husband and earthly husband is what God calls us to do. Although we feel times have changed, God has not. He is still the same yesterday, today, and will be the same tomorrow.  I thank God for Erin, the partners and this ministry.

The reason I applied to be a minister is because it is my heart's desire to spread the good news of God and what He is doing in my life to everyone who will listen. I would like other women to know that although they came to the site seeking restoration, seeking the Lord must be first and foremost in their lives. I want every woman to experience the love of Jesus and the Holy Spirit that is flowing through me. The more I write about Him, the more I want to say. All women need to live their lives through Christ and build their lives on the Solid Rock. It is best if you can build your life on the Rock from the start. If you've built it on sand, like I did, it's never too late to rebuild it on the Rock. And the WW workbook and God's Word are the blueprints to do just that.

For those of you who have experienced God’s love and peace, I know you are now nodding your heads because you understand. But to those of you that are still longing for an unconditional love like I’m talking about, just keep holding on and moving forward in your Restoration Journey. It was a process for me. Just stay faithful in your lessons and live your lessons.  Read the Word of God. Talk to Him all the time. I think I wanted it to happen overnight when I saw the love Erin had for the Lord. I wanted it and longed for it but I wanted it to happen overnight; again, for me, it was and is a process. Tell Him how much you love Him. Make Him the desire of your heart and then He will be. Even in your darkest hour, get a verse you can continue saying over and over. God will come through. There is power in His Word. He did for me and He wants to do it for you too!!

READ more about Yvonne in her Encouraging Praise Reports

 

“Our Anniversary”

So today, one year ago I walked into a church for the first time in years with a plan to see if I could get a pastor to talk some sense into my EH, but He had a different plan—and I walked out a changed woman!! All I had to do was say, "Yes Lord" to His invitation and He did the rest. He is so amazing!!

Looking back on this year with Him, it has been the hardest year of my life, but also the most wonderful year!!! Sounds strange, doesn't it?  With this I mean that although I felt sad at times but I could still smile with hope in my heart. This was the year I have been consistently full of joy. Even though my feelings told me otherwise, I knew that the Lord has only good things for me in store.

I have learned more in this year alone than I have while studying towards my National Diploma in Human Resource Management. I have gained more life experience in this year, along my Restoration Journey,  than in all my life!!!

My HH has changed me in ways I never would have imagined. To tell you the truth, He fixed things in me I never thought needed fixing ;).

He gave me a gentle and quiet spirit and now I know I am precious in His eyes.

He taught me that I do not have to be perfect to be loved by Him. All I have to do is love Him with all my heart and obey His Word and He will do the rest. How light and easy!!!

I am in His thoughts every second of every day. No one else thinks so much about me. I love Him with all of my heart, and my prayer is for my HH to give me wisdom in our next year together. Wisdom to obey Him and love Him and put Him first in everything I do.

I encourage you to not wait another day, and today, make this the day your life changes. Say "Yes Lord" to His invitation and He’ll do the rest. He is so amazing!!

Happy Anniversary My Beloved!!

“Our Hope for the Future”

Today in South Africa, we celebrate Youth Day. We are commemorating a tragic day in the past of our country when many lives were lost. Looking back we have come a long way and this day signifies hope for our country.

Hope... What does the word really mean? I looked it up in Webster’s Dictionary and one of the explanations that stood out for me is: “to expect with confidence”.

In South Africa we are fortunate as Christianity is taught freely in schools and each one of us is free to live for what we believe without fear. Even though I claimed to be a Christian, I never taught my children who the Lord is and what He wants to be in our lives. I never taught my children how to have an intimate relationship with Jesus because I never knew Him.

Now, all that has changed. My Heavenly Husband became the Father of my children and He certainly is the best!!!

It is my responsibility to teach my children how to make the Lord first in their live. To go to Him with every need they have.

I am so blessed to see this happening in my children. Jesus is openly discussed in our home and my children are learning to go to Him with all their problems as He is the only One who can help.

We ask Him to heal us when we are ill. We asked Him to comfort us when our poor dog died. My son says thank you for everything he has which teaches him to be grateful.

So my hope for my children, the youth of tomorrow is this: That my daughter learns to have an intimate relationship with my Heavenly Husband, now her Father and that their relationship later develops into one where she can also call Him her Betrothed and later her Husband. That my son who now has the Lord as His Father will later see Him as His Teacher and best Friend.

I love my country, we have such beauty and so much to be thankful for. If we as mothers come together in South Africa and teach our youth the ways of the Lord, we can certainly say that we have hope for the next generation and hope for our future.

“A Thousand Blessings”

Before I start my evening, I want to praise the Lord with you. He is just so wonderful! When I think of Him, I think of Love, Patience, Love, Mercy, Love...You get the picture:)

A year ago, I gave my finances over to the Lord by tithing. To be honest, I did it out of obedience and not at all because I thought I could “afford.” In the beginning I tithed to my church and after I left my church, to this ministry.

Every month, I would think what I could do with that money, but the Lord whispered in my ear and I instead I tithed. I kept on giving and saw the fruits immediately. The devourer was rebuked on my behalf!

In the beginning it was not as if there was more money, it just somehow lasted longer. LOL. I do not know how to explain it.

Then later, as soon as a need arose, He showed me I could go to my HH and He would send someone to help. I would get money from unexpected places. Thank you Lord.

One day I told the Lord that if I have to fix everything around the house myself, He must please give me the wisdom to do so. A while later (after a pipe incident LOL) my father-in-law gave me strict instruction to let him know if anything in and around the house breaks so he can help me (they live walking distance from us). Praise the Lord!!!

A few Saturdays ago my car broke down. My HH arranged it so someone could tow my car for free and it happened to be something that could be fixed by my father-in-law and while I was waiting for it to be fixed, my mother-in-law loaned me her car to go to and from work.

I praise the Lord for every person He sends my way. It is so true that He will never let us be tested beyond what we can endure and we must never forget the part that says, He sends the outcome.

How do I ever thank Him enough for each and every day I wake up in His presence, every day I spent with Him and every night I go to bed with Him in my thoughts?

He has shown me time and time again that He is true to His Word and that He will never forsake me. He will never disappoint me.

I have never felt so loved. Every time I call, He answers. When I talk, He listens.

The encourager for Monday 6/9/2014 said "When there are enough of your tears captured in the heavenlies, then the showers of blessings will come!" Wow, It feels like a thousand blessings for every teardrop cried on His shoulder.

He is the best Husband a girl could ask for!

“Picnic in Green Pastures”

Wow, what a night, full of unexpected surprises. How the Lord uses everything for our good even before we know He is doing it.

Today, I had an unexpected text from my ex-sister-in-law. Due to some cable problems, she is without electricity for the last few days and as she was in the vicinity she was wondering whether she could take a hot bath.

In itself, this may not sound strange, but let me explain: While she was married to my brother-in-law, we did not get along at all. We were in constant competition of who could be the best daughter-in-law and I must admit that most of the times I won because I was mean and nasty. Yes, not proud of myself, but the Grace of my Lord....

Tonight, she came to visit and we chatted a while and our conversation changed to our Love, the Lord and it was wonderful. To just spend the night talking to someone that loves the Lord as much as I did. Wow, what a change of pace:)

I just praise Him for how He works things out. A few nights ago I read Revelations 2:4 in my Afrikaans bible (the new translation - 1983). To translate it directly it says: "But I have this against you: You do not love me as you did in the beginning". I understood immediately what the Lord meant when He said that to me. And so my prayer the last few days was, "I want to rekindle our love"

After talking for hours about our HH and how He works things out for us, I feel refreshed and renewed. Thank you Lord for power failures:)

We were talking specifically how He takes us into the desert in order to isolate us so He can pour His love out on us. And, yes I have been in the desert a while, but I am not there any more. I may not be in the promised land, yet, but I am in green pastures, wanting for nothing. We were having pizza in my living room but it felt like we were having a picnic beside a river stream sitting on the most beautiful green grass.

Oh, how I love Him…

“My Provider”

The Lord provides for me in so many ways, I cannot begin to understand how much He must love me to do all these wonderful things for me.

Long ago, my freezer broke down but luckily my fridge also has a freezer so it did not really affect me so much. But when summer started there was not enough space in the small freezer for everything. Then when my EH moved out he got a freezer from someone and gave it to me as he was not going to use it. Praise the Lord!!! So when the winter started there was very little in the freezer and when a friend of mine's freezer broke down (they are a family of 7 in the house), I loaned mine to her as she needed it more than I did.

This week, out of nowhere, my father-in-law said that he will collect the old broken freezer to have a look at it. Within 2 days the freezer was fixed and is standing on its old place humming away and freezing everything in sight. How wonderful is the Lord!

A few days ago my microwave broke down, but I was not worried as it is not really a necessity. A bit of inconvenience but we can get along without it, I am not going to spend money on a new one.

Tonight when my EH visited the children, I was busy inside the house while they were playing outside. He came in and said that the children told him the microwave was broken. I said yes, but we can get along without one for now. So, he said I must do some shopping and check out prices for a new one and he will give me the money.

Wow, Lord, I cannot help to feel, how much more? He is blessing me so much every day and now He is providing me with things I do not even really need. The best Husband ever!!! With me knowing that He is here just hearing my every thought and every word and every desire, I feel so comforted and safe and at peace.

“The Perfect Moment”

So, today is Wednesday, the day that my children's dad comes to visit. As I was driving home, I was thinking of all the things I wanted to do before the children and their father come home as he fetches them on Wednesdays.

When I got home, nothing on the long list I made on my way home seemed important anymore. I suddenly felt like just slowing down. So, I went where He led me and made myself a cup of coffee and went outside and just stood there looking and listening.

Wow, while I was standing in my front yard, all the noise of the world just got blocked out and all I could hear were the birds singing and chattering and the wind rustling in the trees. I saw the birds playing in the leafless trees. The lovely flowers blooming next to me in their white and purple colors, totally out of season, blooming just for me.

In that perfect moment I just fell in love with the Lord all over again. He made all of this with a spoken word. He created it all and gave it to us to watch over. How often do I stop to just appreciate everything He made for me? Certainly not often enough.

Thank you so much Lord, for this perfect moment. When I close my eyes tonight that will be the sight I will see before I fall asleep.

“Share Your Deep Secrets”

After reading the Restoration Fellowship Weekly Message “Cover Up”, I remembered that I have tried many ways to make myself feel better. I thought I had a wonderful way, by just ignoring it and it would go away. Well, it did not go away, instead my feelings did not go away no matter how much I ignored them. They came out in ways that really showed I did not have a gentle and quiet spirit.

Until the day I met my Lord... I accepted Him as my Saviour and He became my Lord and then He took on every role I needed. When I needed a Healer, He was there without me really even knowing at that stage how much healing I needed. He is now my Husband and I know He will finish the healing He started. I trust Him with all my heart. I can tell Him things I have never spoken to anyone about. I can tell Him feelings that I have that I cannot admit to people without being judged and criticized. Being healed by the Lord is the type of healing that comes with peace and acceptance. Something you cannot fully explain to someone once you have experienced it…

“Guilt Free”

The Restoration Fellowship Weekly Message I read called “Accuser” has helped me so much. This subject of feeling accused has been on my mind for a while. The accuser has really been busy showing me how everything that has happened in my marriage was all my fault. I never made a secret of the fact that I made a lot of mistakes in my marriage, but I never for once thought that the fact that I really never let go, because I was forgiven, but kept focusing on my mistakes was something deeper.

When I went to the Lord with it, He showed me and this lesson is just another confirmation. He has already forgiven me for my past mistakes that I made and for which I have asked His forgiveness. The fact that I am still accusing myself comes from somewhere else and definitely not the Lord, He wants me to go ahead and sin no more. Not look back in the past and see all the mistakes I made, confessing them over and over again.

I took everything to Him and He lovingly showed me what I must confess to Him and then leave it there with Him to take care of. The guilt I was feeling was definitely not from Him and if I resisted the enemy, he would certainly flee and since I know I confessed my sins and He is faithful to forgive and cleanse me. I must remember that it is up to me to take that forgiveness from Him.

One of TNPR had such a nice message when it said that the Grace of the Lord IS sufficient. Not will be sufficient. It already is, we must just take it and believe. What a mighty Husband I have that He is able to forgive me and cleanse me. What do I have to feel guilty about when I have Him?!

I am really trying to live just for today with the Lord since He says I am not to worry about tomorrow and yesterday is in the past where it belongs. Every day is a new day with Him where His grace is new and sufficient for me. Oh, how I love Him for what He is.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."—1 John 1:9

I want my mind to be totally centered on the Lord, I know I still do not go to Him with every little thing in my life. I want my mind so renewed that I will be able to do nothing if I have not consulted Him first.

Please pray with me: Dearest Husband, please give me peace when it comes to my past and all the mistakes I have made and let me live my life for You and You alone, as You are all that matters. You really let everything work together for my good and You even used these mistakes that the accuser is using against me to bring me closer to You where I belong. I tried to fill the void in my life with all sorts of things when all I needed was You. From now on, from today forward I will not feel any guilt about my past mistakes because I’m forgiven. Thank You for just showing me this now. Thank You Lord, I cannot feel guilty about something that led me to You. How wonderful You are. I love You with all of my heart my darling Husband. With love overflowing, your bride.

Dear Friends, Please do not stay in the past. Do not give the accuser permission to haunt you with your past. Take everything to your dearest Husband, who is just waiting to forgive you and take you in His loving arms. Do not look back because everything that has happened was for your good. He promises it and He cannot lie to you.

“Teach Them Your Ways”

I want to praise the Lord for His abundant blessings on my life. I have not given a Praise Report in a long time and tonight I read Psalm 50:14 "Offer unto God thanksgiving; and pay thy vows unto the most High!"

Here I am offering my thanksgiving to my HH. Today, my son "graduated" from kindergarten:) He is starting Grade 1 next year and a whole function was held in their honour. I really had an emotional day as I was proud and so sad at the same time. He is growing up so fast:). And as I was sitting next to him this evening after his little sister has gone to bed, I was thinking just how blessed I am to have these two wonderful children.

My Beloved gave them to me as a wonderful gift from Him and I praise His name. I also pray for the wisdom to raise them according to His word so they don't wander from His word when they are older.

I can now see the fruits of everything that happened in my life, things that brought me to this point where I can be the mother that the Lord wants me to be and the mother I want to be for His children.

In our country it is mandatory that a parental plan is drawn up by a professional in a divorce with children as young as mine, and so it was also mandatory for them to see the child psychologist who drew up the paperwork.

When she called us in to tell us what well-behaved and well-adjusted children we have and that she can see all the love they receive, I could only praise the Lord!!! It was all His doing!

And because of this and so many other things He does for me on a daily basis I say with total conviction: "I have put my life into Your hands, You won't drop me, You never let me down".

“Do Nothing Without Me”

Working under authority was always fine with me as long as I could dictate the terms. When I found the Lord and started my lessons in the beginning of my Restoration Journey the Lord showed me how I was not really working under authority at my workplace as I was dictating what should be done. This was mainly due to my experience in the field but definitely also due to arrogance, thinking I know everything. Then I started working for the ministry and was totally out of my comfort zone with things I did not really know. And has the Lord really showed me what He can do. Wow, He showed me that if I took the time to listen to others I will see that they actually have good ideas. He showed me how much I still had to learn if I would just listen to Him and not lean on my own understanding. He also showed me how much can be accomplished if I just trust Him.

Through this lesson I learned to trust completely on the Lord for everything. The great thing about this is when I am struggling with something I just say: "Lord, I cannot, but You can" and then sit back and watch Him work. It just amazes me. I never knew that this was the relationship He wants with me. All those times I thought I was a Christian, how wrong I was. What I was doing was religion. This is so much different. This lesson is just conformation for me again. The first time I realized that I needed to discuss EVERYTHING with Him was when I read one of the Sunday Weekly Message. Since then I have been talking to Him in my head even when I am sitting at my desk at work, and I can really see the results in my life. I never thought to consult the Lord for things I actually knew how to do, not realizing that it was Him that enabled me to do them and not myself.

Now I am consulting Him in everything and when He is there I can really see the difference. For example at my place of work: I have a huge workload. I do not have the type of work where I can say at the end of the day that I have nothing left for tomorrow as there are always things to do. I never thought of consulting the Lord with this as I had things under control. Or so I thought... Since consulting Him, I am doing things differently at work and it is as if everything is running so smoothly and at times I sit amazed and wonder what all my complaining was about. When I do things His way, I get things done much quicker. I have so many examples which I can give. My work at home, for instance, I was never a good housewife but ever since I found my HH it is the desire of my heart to become a worker at home. Hahahaha, never thought to hear those words from my lips.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."—1 John 1:9  

For some reason, I liked working under pressure, it made me feel good. I am not sure why. The Lord showed me that working under pressure is definitely not from Him and getting the feeling to rush things is also not from Him. I am still learning to do things in His time as I sometimes get frustrated when things are not done on my timeline. The Lord showed me that I must just learn to trust Him and rely on Him and He will show me the way and then I will be astounded at what He can do.

If you can relate to what I said, please pray with me:

Lord, I want to be a vessel for You, doing what You want me to do. Please work through me. Lord, I do not want people to see me, I want them to see You—I want them to see what You can do using me. You are so amazing and continually show me what You can do when I come to You. Wow, how wonderful You are. Lord, I know I am nothing if not for You. What am I that You think of me. That I am in Your thoughts constantly and yet, You made the stars and sun and the moon and this breezy night just for me. Tears are welling up in my eyes when I think how much You love me. Lord, please put the love that You feel for me in my heart for You. I am so thankful to know that I am being loved by You my dearest Jesus. You can choose any one to do Your work, so I am so grateful that You chose me. Thank you!

My dear Fellow Minister and others of you who are being called but haven’t answered, everyday I learn more about what the Lord can do. He always amazes me. The secret in this is, for me to be able to see His glory, I am to work with Him and not against Him. I have to have His wisdom in order to do His work. He could have chosen anyone to do this. Yet He chose each of us because He has something special planned in order for His name to be glorified. Let us glorify His name and work with Him and seek Him in ALL we do.

“My Rock When Waters Rage”

The Lord is so good to me. He is my Rock when the storm around me is raging.

Let me explain what happened and how He used this ministry once again to help me through a trial:

So a few days ago out of the blue my EH phoned and asked to come back, I said yes. He moved back with almost everything and moved out again the next day.

As the morning came, myself and the Lord was talking the whole night, I knew by then that this was not final. I have not received an: "it is done" yet. So, I asked for strength and wisdom. As I looked into my EH eyes, I could see the truth there, he was leaving again.

For a moment I felt "oh no!", I heard my ministry email go off on my phone. It was my TNPR. I immediately thought that this is my answer, took my phone and started reading. Well, the verse was:

"Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." (John 16:24)

Thinking, Lord not really my answer, I kept on reading because the devotional as always was riveting. When I got to the bottom, I found a lone verse saying:

"Now you will see what I will do." Exodus 6:1

A gulf of peace came over me as never before, just because of these 8 little words. None of them longer than four letters :). (You are counting them now, aren't you?)

So amazing! Nothing extravagant, no flairs but I could feel Him with me the whole time.

And that cleared my mind and all the verses that was buried deep in my heart, came flooding into my mind calming me and giving me peace. Thanks to the Lord, I never uttered a word in anger, in fact I did not even feel any anger. I could see the struggle going on inside of him and I felt a deep compassion for him.

He left, but he was tormented inside and some of his last words to me was: "I wish I had your peace".

This was a peace that only my HH could give me. I could feel His presence with me the whole time.

I got a message from someone telling me, that she sees me standing on Rock while the Lord is holding me until the waters calms down. Wow! She knows absolutely nothing about my circumstances or what I was going through that morning.

He is my Rock and so much more. He is everything I need and knows exactly what I need and when I need it. I love Him and trust Him with my life. My life is in His warm comfortable hands and I know that He only wants the best for me.

Ladies, please fill your head and your heart with His word. It is a lamp unto your feet and a light unto your path…

“Flee Temptation”

This week I read Erin’s Weekly Message on “Temptations” and WOW, I never considered it the way she explained it. I have not thought of the fact that yes, the enemy tempted Jesus, but He never considered it for a moment!! Yes, I understand that if you open yourself up to sin just a little bit that it is extremely difficult to overcome the temptation a next time. And obviously that is just the opening the enemy was waiting for. I experienced this first hand a few months ago. I was tempted and I considered it and the moment I opened up my mind to it, it was so difficult for me to close my mind to it again. I am blessed to have the Lord, because He showed me how to close my mind to temptation in this way!!

Very early in my RJ when I was still broken hearted I would lie in my bed and think of my EH, this really made it worse and I told the Lord I cannot think of this. So He taught me to renew my mind by clearing it totally and just concentrating on one verse. Saying it over and over in my head and then I would fall asleep with the verse in my head. Later on I started telling the Lord what He meant to me when my thoughts would start running around. So when I opened my mind to temptation and I had to close it again, I had to resist the enemy so he would flee. I did this by simply praising the Lord every time I could feel temptation knocking and Praise His name, His promises are true because it worked!!

Dear loving Sister, I have been tempted and resisted. I have been tempted and have considered giving in. And I have been tempted, considered it and also acted on it! I can honestly tell you from the bottom of my heart, that the times I fled from temptation was the most rewarding of times. I can also tell you if you give in the first time, the next time it gets even more difficult to resist. So, don't give in the first time! Do not even consider it! Fasting came very easy for me. I was tempted but as I resisted and went to the Lord, it became easier. One day I gave into the temptation, the next time it was easier to give in and so it went on until the Lord gave me a verse in Proverbs that speaks of a man without self control is like a city without walls. This was just what I needed to resist the enemy every time the temptation would strike, but I must tell you that it was a very difficult journey and that I regret opening that door. Without the Lord it would have never been possible.

“I Can Hear His Voice”

Erin’s Weekly Message about “Two Way Communication” really spoke to my heart. I love my Lord with all my heart but honestly, He has never been included in what I would call the little decisions. The things I thought I could do for myself, I never took time to consult Him and then actually listen to what He was saying.

After I read this lesson and put it into practice, the results are magnificent. It may sound a bit strange, but the more I talk to the Lord about the small things, the clearer I can hear His voice. It has helped me to just get quiet and listen instead of just babbling about everything on and on.

I now understand that He must be included in every decision and actually I should say that He is the one that should be making all the decisions, even the small ones I think I can make myself. I have started using this principle in my life and the results are amazing. My day job can be rather tedious and so I never included the Lord in this or asked Him for wisdom. The thought never occurred to me. Oh, I did complain a lot about how boring my work is and how I am not moving forward etc, etc. As soon as I started asking the Lord to give me wisdom to do what I have to the best of my abilities, things changed. My work did not change, but my attitude towards it changed. And it was not as if I did not trust the Lord with the little things, I guess I just did not think He would be all that interested, well I was wrong about that. LOL

Dear ladies, please know that the Lord wants to be everything in Your life. I have learned that He wants to be consulted in everything. Even the things we think we can do on our own. You will see if you do this, you will feel more fulfilled in everything you do because He is there and that means it is the will that He has for you.

“No Fixing It”

Boast about my weaknesses, is there enough space in this document :). Wow, preachy, this was me and that was before I met the Lord even. I always had all the answers to everybody’s problems but for some reason failed to see mine. I used to think that people with problems must just suck it up and go on with life. Yes, that was my philosophy. I used to say go have a nice cry in the bath, get out and leave it all behind. Boy, not only self-righteous, but arrogant, vain and a lot of other things. When I look at my life and who I was, and who I know I am, I do believe in miracles because only a miracle from the Lord could have changed me like that.

After studying Erin’s Weekly Message “Preachy”, I have learned I am not to preach to others, nor judge but to boast in my weaknesses because in my weakness, He is strong!! There is really one weakness this week I can see the Lord has been strong in. Having peace inside me and trying to fix things. I guess you can call me a “fixer”. When something goes wrong, everyone immediately turns to me because this is what I do, I find solutions. The Lord really had to step in here, because of me being a “fixer”, giving things over to Him can sometimes be tough for me. The hardest was realizing that I must give it over to Him and not try to fix everything and everyone myself.

I have always been a smiling person on the outside, I just hope the world can see the difference between the fake that I was and the work of the Lord that I know am! Sometimes I still catch myself being preachy and with the help of my Lord I try not to be judgy of people. The changing is a slow process because this has been my bad habits and iniquity for a very long time. I am just so blessed to have the Lord as the Potter.

Dear bride,

Let us encourage one another and let the Lord work through us. I will never forget from which dark sinner's pit He took my hand. When I think back, I can see myself in this dark hole surrounded by mud and then His hand reaching in and pulling me out.

When I talk to others, I sometimes judge them in my mind because I forget where I came from. We were all there once and never did Jesus judge us when we came to Him for help. In fact He opened His loving, warm arms and welcomed us as if we were white as snow. I want with my whole heart to feel that way about every person I meet.

Let’s make this the prayer of our hearts:

Lord, let me show Your love to other people. Work through me, I am humbled to be Your instrument. Let me not judge others, lest I want to be judged. Lord, I want to see people with the same eyes You see them. I want to feel the same love for them that You feel for them and me. Only then will I really not judge other people and will I love them with the unconditional love You show us day and night. Give me wisdom to do Your will in everything I do. Every little thing. Remind me to consult You in everything I do no matter how insignificant it may seem to me. I love You with all my heart and I wish only for Your name to be glorified for all eternity. Thank You dearest Lord for changing me and shaping me into the bride that You want me to be. Amen!!

“Easier to Discern”

Erin’s Weekly Message “DOUBLE for My Sins?!” made me realize that I have been in this boat more times than I would like to admit. I also know now why this is called the narrow road!! I have also realized that the closer I walk with Jesus the easier it is to discern between right and wrong, the gray areas fade and you can clearly see the black and white of it all. But the moment I move away from Him just a few steps and for a little while that lines begin to blur again. I am so blessed that the Lord is guiding me and showing me the error of my ways as soon as I stray from the path a little bit. I know I am not perfect, but the wonderful thing is I also know who the Lord is now!! I have always seen Him as the Judge waiting to let the hammer fall and punish me. If something goes wrong in my life I immediately assume it is punishment for sin. Now I learn that as soon as my sins are forgiven, I get DOUBLE for them!!! This really shows me the lovingkindness of my Lord over and over again.

In this lesson, the Lord’s Grace and forgiveness really stood out for me! I have also learned not to let the accuser keep on accusing me of things the Lord has already forgiven. I have learned He is really not like us at all! He is so different and PERFECT in His love for me!! And the beauty of it all is I do not have to do it in myself, all I have to do is surrender my all to Him and watch His salvation! This Weekly Message has reminded me to not let the accuser mislead me with lies. I will know that when the Lord forgives, it is forgotten and I can go forth and sin no more.

Dear loving Sister,

I never knew what the word grace meant until I met the Lord. Since then He has showed me how He was with me even when I did not acknowledge Him there or wanted Him there for that matter. When it came to confessing all my sins He led me and there was not one time that I confessed all my sins but something would happen and He would point it out and I would confess. This was a wonderful process and to be honest an ongoing process!! None of us are perfect, but we have His perfect love to protect us from this world and all the evil that is trying to penetrate our defenses every day. Surrender to Him and know that although you should have known better, He is always there to forgive. And you would think that this would give you a license to sin as He is so forgiving, but when you get to know and love the Lord, you do not want to sin and you want to please Him and honour Him.

“Walking on Water”

I can now understand how we cannot take a step forward in this world without the Lord at our side guiding us and leading the way.

Isaiah 30:21 (NIV): "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it."

The court date for the divorce was a few weeks back and as I was getting so much sympathy from my 2 friends, both who went through divorces themselves, I had to reflect and ask myself if there is something wrong with me… Why did it not bother me? Well, of course because I have my HH and I know that I can trust Him with my life, my heart, soul and all of my being!!!

Oh, of course I do not want the title "divorced", but does it really matter when I have the title "Bride of Jesus". When you can claim this title due to His lovingkindness, suddenly no other title really matters.

By following the principles of this ministry and ultimately the principles written in the Word and not involving myself with the process by contesting or hiring a lawyer, let me tell you ladies, the Lord has really blessed me with so much.

To start with financially, my EH is really contributing so much financially to me and the children. This could only have come from the Lord and I never asked him for anything. There would be a need, I go to the Lord and He provided through ways I never thought possible. He still does it every single day and I never have to doubt whether He will do it again tomorrow:)

Then there is the divorce itself, a process that should have taken 3 months at the most took almost two years and I still do not know whether everything went through or not, because I do not ask any questions. My HH has all the answers so why ask them from someone else :).

I have made so many loving unlikely friends. Ladies I never would have mixed with a few years ago, because I never liked the way they always mentioned the Lord in all their conversations. Hahaha, now I am one of them! If I had slandered my EH, none of these ladies would have been friends with me as they would have distanced themselves.

Looking back at the year that has passed, I can see the hand of my Lord in everything. In a time where a lot of woman would have felt they were drowning, I can see myself walking on water but only because Jesus is holding my hand!!!

“I Did the Right Thing”

After studying my RMIOU Ministry Commitments lesson “NO OTHER MINISTRY or CHURCH Conflicts”, I realized this was really one of the hardest principles for me to follow. It was so hard for me letting go of my church. Let me tell you why:

When my marriage fell apart, my old church where I went to as a teenager came to mind and this was the only place where I could think of to go. And they really took me in and they loved me and never judged me and when I spoke to the preacher he immediately told me that it is not the will of the Lord for any marriage to fall apart and that the Lord wants to restore but I must believe. He guided me and soon after I found RMI. The principles I learned here were also the principles I learned at church. (This was not a very big church because we do want our ears tickled and when the preacher teaches that divorce is something the Lord hates and there are divorced couples in the church, they tend to move on. When he preaches about tithing, people thinks it is for his own personal gain.) But the true members of the church were a real family and so loving and caring. Just like the ladies I have come to love here. So when I did my lesson on letting go of church, I really struggled with the Lord, but I did it and I do miss them but I still know I did the right thing.

There is a reason I know I did the right thing and it is the part about serving two masters. I cannot remember exactly when it was. It may have been when I was completing my MEQ when I mentioned something about my church and I believe I expressed myself wrong and it was interpreted that the church did not help me when my marriage fell apart. I immediately tried to defend my church in a follow up email. And although I know they are teaching the same things and they are really followers of Christ, when I thought back on that I was thinking that I did not want to be caught in the middle of the 2 feeling I had to defend my church to the ministry or the other way around. So, I had to choose. And because I am really so spiritually fed everyday here and by then I was starting to give my tithe to the ministry instead of to my church, the choice was obvious.

Of course the enemy tried to convince me that because this ministry expected me to not belong to any other church or have conflicts it means that they are selfish. I work for our countries police and if we have any other things that we do, we need to declare it so they can determine whether we will be a risk to the organization. I even had to declare my work in this ministry. So why would it be any different for the ministry to ask me to declare any outside interest for the well-being of the ministry.

Dear Brides,

If you thought that maybe the principle on tithing is a hard one to follow, this one is worse. For tithing it is so easy to see that you are not giving the Lord 10% of what is yours, but you are actually keeping 90% of what belongs to Him:). You try all sorts of reasoning on why should not let go of your church, but in the end you cannot follow both. There will come a time where you feel you have to defend or justify one or the other. This ministry has never kept anyone of us here with force. You are free to leave whenever you do not agree with what is said. I do believe that if you really seek the Lord with your whole heart you will see that the right thing is not the easy thing, but I can assure that after you have done the right thing you will experience the peace that surpasses all understanding.

“Guard My Heart”

After studying my RMIOU Ministry Commitments, this lesson helped refresh my mind on the importance of being careful. Wow, this lesson is exactly how it was for me in the beginning when I started volunteering. First came the "taking offence" whenever I received a praise report back or someone would correct me I would feel offended. Praise the Lord I am not a confrontational person so instead of responding immediately I would take it to the Lord and once I reread the comment I would sometimes see that I read a word wrong, thinking that I am sure it wasn't there the first time:). After I overcame that then it was the distractions. Suddenly when I would start working my little girl who has fallen asleep on her own since she was a baby would suddenly want me to lie with her until she fell asleep along with many other distractions. As I would SG and find a solution for one, then another distraction would pop up. I must say the distractions are not really less now but it is helping me to SG more and more. So I do believe they can be turned into good:). Weariness was actually one of the most recent obstacles. At the end of last year I was so tired, having had so many projects at work and then also the ministry work and at home with my FH moving in and out of our lives like a whirlwind, it really took its toll on me mentally and physically and it came to a point where I told the Lord “something has to go, I cannot go on this way.” I was actually on the verge of asking for a MLA when it was announced that we were getting January off. I also had a 6 week vacation from work and to top it all off my children went on vacation with their father for a whole week leaving me totally alone with the Lord. I have never felt so rested :).

I felt I had to do all of these things in order not to disappoint other people and let them down. I should not have tried so hard because the harder I tried the tougher it became. Leaving it all to the Lord really showed me what He can do. I also believe that I must make peace with the fact that there will be distractions and I will get weary from time to time but that I should be honest about it to the Lord and know that He has it covered :).

Instead of seeing every obstacle as a stumbling block I should rely more on the Lord to solve my problems for me instead of me paddling upstream. It is still strange for me how I can trust the Lord with all the big things but forget to include Him in the little things.

I let myself fall prey to distractions. I should have been more careful since I should be familiar with the schemes of the enemy by now.

Ladies please pray with me:

Dear Lord, thank You for this opportunity to be here now. Please give me wisdom in all aspects of my life. Not only with this ministry but also my workplace and at home with my children. Help me to seek You before I speak and help me to above all things guard my heart. Help me to be content in the work I do Lord. If You wanted me elsewhere I would have been there by now, which means that You want me to learn something. Please open my spiritual eyes and ears to be able to follow where You lead. I love You with all my heart and I want to thank You for loving me even more. Amen.

Dear Brides,

Please know that what is taught in this lesson is true and never say it will not happen to me, because it will. The only question is, what will you do when it does? Will you run to the Lord knowing the schemes of the enemy or will you fall prey to these schemes and then hide from the Lord once you have discovered what has happened? It’s known as the Eve-syndrome ;). Before you run please know that running to Him instead of away from Him is the best thing you will ever do.

“Desperate to Save My Marriage”    

Tithing is a very important principle, and it’s why I wanted to share my heart with all of you. I think maybe one of the most important and a big problem currently is that ministers do not want to preach on this principle for fear of what people will think.       

This has been a principle that has been hard to do due to my financial situation but also the most fruitful after the Lord helped me to stay true to this.

I do believe that 3 of the most important keys to unlocking a happy and fruitful life here on earth is giving, praying and fasting. And part of giving is also tithing. Realizing that everything comes from the Lord to start with.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."—1 John 1:9.

In the beginning whenever I would tithe, I would first calculate what I could do with the money. Another sin of mine was not realizing that all I have comes from the Lord, nothing is earned for myself.

If you’ve struggled to tithe or tithe faithfully, pray with me:

Dear Lord, thank You so much for bringing me to this ministry in order for me to learn the truth and not have my ears tickled. I also pray that every lady that comes here see and experience the truth for herself so she does not leave this ministry having the enemy convince her that the ministry is out to get her money. I also pray that You help every lady to keep on tithing even when she does not see results right away. Lord, this very important principle lacks so much in churches today and that is why it is so easy for the enemy to come in and cause division among members. Dear Lord, please give us wisdom so we can know when a door has been left open for the enemy in order for us to grow as a ministry to lead women to You so You can become their dear Heavenly Husband. I love You with all my heart, Yvonne.

Dear Brides,

I did not say much in my form because what I wanted to say I want to say to you. I want to tell each of you the following about this principle: When I first came to RMI and realized how much emphasis is placed on tithing, of course the enemy whispered in my ear and I wondered if this ministry was just in this for the money because I have never seen any other ministry preach this principle so avidly. But to be very honest with you, I was so desperate to save my marriage that I tithed anyway. First just giving a donation while I was still attending church and then after realizing I was spiritually fed here I gave to the ministry. Again just because I was going to do everything right in order to save my marriage. Yes, I was that desperate:).

But despite my motives, I could see the effect of tithing immediately. Not in my finances as that was still a total mess but in my personal life. I was happier, more content. My faith in the Lord grew by the day. It got to a point where a friend of mine later said that she thought I was crazy for tithing because it was causing more financial damage, she told me that she really thought I could have used my tithing money more wisely. I was able to go through trials without breaking down. And yes, I do believe now that this was due to me tithing.

The Lord says He will rebuke the devourer, He does not only say, when it comes to finances, I believe it is every aspect of our lives. Even when I would sin due to my disobedience at times, I believe I was protected from more terrible consequences due to His wonderful protection. In my finances I could see the difference that although I did not have more money at that stage, the little we had suddenly went a very long way. Then the more I gave, the more I got. Suddenly my FH would start paying for things and when he heard something broke in the house he would pay for it. There are so many instances I can mention where the Lord helps me out financially.

My FH is even paying half of the bond (mortgage in the U.S.) on our home, this is not specified in the contract, he is doing it because the Lord is taking care of me. The months I really could not afford it but did it anyway, the blessings were even more. I cannot begin to explain to you how important this principle is, but my life is a living testimony of this principle. The way I see it in my head is that the blood of Jesus protects us, I see it as a glove that fits snugly over me protecting me from outside forces but when I follow His principles in the bible that glove spreads out and becomes a tent covering me and all my loved ones that lives under this tent with me. The same goes for the ministry, if we all tithe faithfully we are protected under this tent together and the enemy is kept on the outside. If you don't believe me then test the Lord and see if He will not open the heavens for you, He certainly did for me… and everything was based on His word which is why it works for everyone.

“Wings Like a Dove”

Psalm 55:6-7 (NLT) Oh, that I had wings like a dove; then I would fly away and rest! I would fly far away to the quiet of the wilderness.

Never did this verse feel more true to me than the beginning of this year...

My son started school this year and I knew it would be hectic but I thought well I am sure by that time my marriage would be restored and I would have some help around the home.

Things did not turn out the way I thought it would and I was overwhelmed with so many things happening at once especially after I had a very long time off from work, volunteering and a while from mothering. But the Lord of course knew all of this before I even did and last year when I spoke to Him about being a better mother and a better keeper of my home (which I will get to later), He showed me to not allow my children any technology from Monday to Thursday. So no, tv, no computers, no games. Wow, this was very difficult to implement with a lot of complaining from them and a lot of complaining from me when I spoke to the Lord about it:). Whenever anyone would hear of this rule in our home, a lot of them would say that I am a monster and the poor children. What are they keeping themselves busy with. There were a lot of times where I doubted what I was doing, but I did not change the rule as I remembered from my lessons that the right thing is mostly hard to do.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

When I stopped complaining to the Lord and accepted the situation, I could see a change in my children. They were not complaining anymore and we were playing outside and my daughter started helping me in the kitchen. Then when the children heard it was Friday they would be so excited to come home to the television and games but then I noticed in spite of all the excitement instead of coming home and switching on the tv, they would still play outside even on a Friday!

So when school started and my son as young as he is came home with heaps of homework, thanks to the Lord leading me to do something I just did not want to do, I now do not have to compete with any outside interference and we can do homework, play outside and have time to spare:).

I am still failing at being a good keeper of my home and using a lot of excuses for why I can’t keep my house neat and clean. Excuses like: “I have to do everything alone” and “There are far more important things” and “I have a full-time job” Then I realised after reading one of our meetings that I am “waiting” on the Lord to change me when what I should do is just start doing it and trusting that the Lord will give me the strenght to finish what I started.

James 5:16 (NLT): Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results

“Oh, that I had wings like a dove; then I would fly away and rest! I would fly far away to the quiet of the wilderness.” (Psalm 55:6-7 NLT)  

When I read the Psalms, it so encourages me to know that everyone feels like this sometimes. What is even more encouraging is knowing we have the Lord to look to.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

It is a process to trust the Lord in everything and to follow His lead especially if you have been the leader of your own life for so long. There are so many rewards to trusting Him, much less worries and grey hair:)

“Faced It Bravely”

Hallo ladies. Please give me the opportunity to tell you how faithful the Lord is. He is so patient. He had to have a lot of patience with me these last few months:)

So, if you took notice you will see that my status changed from divorce to husband remarried in a very short time. Thankfully, because the Lord told me something was coming, I was not surprised and could face it bravely with Him on my side. I was really tested as I was asked by my MIL to help her search for pants for my son to wear to the wedding. The Lord used me to comfort them, wow, He is so wonderful. He carried me through everything and again everyone held their breath, thinking "she has been so strong, now she is going to crack".

I cannot expect them to understand that despite everything, I have the Lord and He is all I need. I must also admit to you that I am not perfect because after my brothers and sister found out I got "the call" from my sister. Instead of the encouragement I thought I was gonna receive, I got a "now you can go on with your life call".

And then it began:

I was asking the Lord l, why not? Why can He not send me someone else? My ex-husband chose his path. And yes, so the discussion went on for a while between me and the Lord. He was so extremely patient. For every question He had an answer. The answers came through people He send my way, through His word and through this ministry. But I can be stubborn when I want to be:)

But through it all I could feel Him the whole time speaking softly to me. I have tears in my eyes when I think of how He is there for me every second of every day.

Then one morning, I woke up and I just knew in my heart that I do not know what my lovely HH has planned for my future, but what I do know for sure is that it is NOT another man. I cannot explain the peace that came over me:).

I have learned something more from this. My Lord showed me that I do not have to have the answers. I just need to trust that He does and discuss everything with Him just as I would with any husband I knew would understand.

Thank You Lord, You never disappoint. I love You with all my heart. Thank You for not giving up on me:)

"I Can Fix it Myself!"

You are asking me to wait Lord? You know me better than that:) I love fixing problems. My own, people around and therefore I wasn’t the waiting type because why wait when I can fix it all myself. Looking back I wonder how many blessings I have missed out on and how many people I have deprived of their blessing because of my inability to wait. Oh, I can procrastinate with the best of them whenever I do not want to do something:) but waiting was a totally different story.

So obviously I had to change… And what better way than to take the one person away from me that always wanted me to fix his problems. Later when we split up he referred to this and told me that it made him feel less of a man when I would take over so he just decided to give up and surrender all control to me.

Waiting and suffering does not have to go hand-in-hand forever as this chapter “It’s SO Worth the Wait” from Erin’s Weekly Message covered so well. Yes, we have to endure suffering in order to change but that does not mean that we have to suffer through the whole waiting period.

I have learned that waiting on the Lord actually helps me to achieve more than trying to do things in my own strength. A friend of mine is seeing her marriage restored after 13 years of waiting and her words to me was “Please enjoy the alone time with Him that you have left:”). So to be honest with you, a while ago the waiting was terrible for me but now I am enjoying it very much. Even when my children are not here and the house is so quiet (something I would not have been able to endure a few years ago) I am really enjoying it:)

Because of my tendency to procrastinate I must really SG when I am waiting to make sure that I am waiting on Him and not just putting something off. For me there can be a very fine line and I am His work in progress.

Dearest Lord, thank You so much for this lesson and I really think it is worth the wait. You know as well as I do that I am not nearly ready for the promises You gave to me. There is still so much that You need to change in me. I ask that you give me the patience to wait on You to make the changes and that I do not interfere in Your process but that everything that happens in my life is in Your will and for Your glory. Help me to work with You and not to rush You as You are a true Master and has to get it just right:)  I love you so much. Amen

Dear Brides, there are so many verses in the bible that asks us to wait on the Lord: that we need to be still. I have seen from experience that everything just happens smoother when I wait on the Lord. As soon as I take matters in my own hands because of my impatience, I mess it up and miss or delay the blessing that the Lord has for me. Please do not miss your blessing, wait on the Lord!

Isaiah 40:31 - But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.

Wow, if we wait, our strength shall be renewed. I do believe that we must use the waiting period as a time of rest, because the real trial comes with restoration:). But if we wait patiently, when the time comes, our strength shall be renewed and we will be able to run and not be weary and walk and not faint. Such a lovely promise and all we have to do is wait. The world expects us to work for this and do this to get that, but our HH just wants us to wait and bask in His love. Which option sounds better to you?

“What a Father Should Be”

The Lord is so dear and wonderful. Something that has been so apparent in my life the last two months: "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

My FIL passed away two months ago and for you to truly understand what I went through I need to give you some background. My own estranged father passed away when I was 16. I never really missed him as I never really knew him or even knew what role a father is to play in my life. When my mother passed away 5 years later I was devastated and never really dealt with her death until 13 years later when the Lord healed me in an instant. I met FIL when I was just 19 and he taught me what a father should be. I could see what I have missed out on as I grew up.

So when he passed away very unexpectedly, you can just imagine the emotions that whirled around in me. But ladies, this time everything was different. I was and to tell you the truth am still very sad and still cry a lot because I miss him so terribly. But now I do not cry as one who is without hope because I know the Lord has already worked this tragedy into His plan.

As I look back I can see how I would not have gotten to the Lord if He did not take my husband away. How I would not have healed from my mother's passing and how the passing away of my FIL would just have piled on top of everything. I know for a fact I would not have been strong enough to deal with this without the Lord. He is showing me that I am allowed to grieve and how to do it with Him.

Although I have questions, this time I have faith that the Lord has all of this under control. He has my MIL in His hands and He is giving her the comfort that none of us can.

I also thank the Lord because of my FH not living nearby, it was my responsibility to fetch our children from my parents-in-law for the last 2 years every weekday, which gave me precious time with my FIL.

Lord, I love You and I thank You for strengthening me for You knew what I had to face. You are all I need to face anything!

“He Really Went All Out”

I just want to thank the Lord for giving me a wonderful birthday:). He knows just what we need and when we need it.

My first birthday after I started my RJ was a birthday where the Lord assured me of His love and made me feel special by giving me a special verse from His Word. I really needed it so desperately, I truly felt "like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, Even like a wife of one's youth when she is rejected" as mentioned in Isaiah 54:6. And the Lord became my Husband.

So my second birthday, was a quiet one, without any fuss made and just the peace of the Lord within me as I needed no more at that stage. A lot of the family and friends I love were still kept out of my life while the Lord was doing much needed work on my heart and in my life.

Oh, but this year, He really went all out:)!!! I can honestly say I have never been so spoiled in my whole life. It was such a wonderful time with Him and my children. I got birthday wishes from so many people. The Lord showed me how blessed I am to have so many people that really cares for me. And the most wonderful of it all is that without me knowing, it was exactly what I needed this year.

I wonder what He has planned for me next year... I cannot wait!!! Thank You Lord! I can say in all honesty that my last 3 birthdays have been without a doubt the best ones. I love you with all my heart and my cup is running over:)

“He Saved My Life!”

I am sure that the Lord protects us from so much harm every day. But two days ago He saved my life!!! I praise His wonderful name.

A storm came up which is very common in the evening where I live, but this time it was accompanied by a terrible wind and the atmosphere turned from hot to cold almost instantly, meaning a hailstorm is on it's way. I just came from work and was visiting my MIL, as is the custom every afternoon, but when the wind started up I told her I must rush home to get my car in the garage. She asked me to first help her with something, and can I admit I was wondering in my heart why would she choose this time to ask me for help when what she was asking could have waited until the next day... but as I have mentioned in previous Praise Reports: although she is my MIL, I still feel that I need to give her the same honour I would my own mom, as my mom passed away very long ago and my MIL took her place. So, submitting to her, I helped her and I apologized in my heart to the Lord for being stubborn.

So when I left her, the wind was really bad and I got home and opened my gate and walked up to my garage to open it (nothing is electronic and I have to open it by hand). So when I walked up to my garage I heard something like thunder, but when I turned around there were sparks where I had just got out of my car a minute ago. After everything died down and I investigated, I saw a tree had fallen down and took the electricity pole with it, and that is what caused the sparks. Had I been a few minutes earlier or later, I would have been next to my car either getting in or out. I would have been electrocuted!!! My Heavenly Husband saved me!!! He went further and where the tree fell it was on the garage of the my neighbours who were safely in their home! He went even further still and this is the best news ever!!! My children were at their dad's place for Christmas and this would be their first one without me. This was very sad for me, but were they home, they would have been in the car when all this happened. As I am writing the Praise Report I have tears in my eyes. My sweet Lord lets everything work out for good:):):)

"no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone." (Psalm 91:10-12 NIV)

Never have I discerned the real meaning of these words more than I do now:)

“I Like the Scenic Route”

It has been a while now, that I have been praying, Your will my Lord. And when I read the part from Living the Abundant Life where Michele said that nothing seems to work out perfectly anymore, I had to laugh. Let me explain: When I was asking the Lord to save my marriage I could see the torment in my FH. But as I grew closer to the Lord, I decided that His will be done. And I would just say, Lord, whatever You need to do for Your name to glorified. I had no idea what I was getting myself into but the Lord really prepared me for everything. So, in a few short months after saying this, the divorce actually went through and my FH married the OW a few months later. And I had to ask, Lord, is this Your plan? And then I sat with my worst case scenario. I will be alone with my First Love and my two darling children...Not a bad life at all 🙂 Actually it was starting to become a great life when the Lord whispered your marriage will be restored, and I was glad to read that the Lord was not disappointed in me when my response was not what I had thought it would be a year ago.

To be very honest, what I have learned in church growing up about the Father and the Son, never exactly made sense to me, but I just wrote it off to me not being knowledgeable enough, or about us being too small to understand everything. And although I still believe we will never exactly fathom the love of our HH in this life, the explanation here about the God the Father and His Son, my Husband, makes much more sense. This was truly an aha moment for me 🙂

Countless times have I asked that question: Is this really His plan? Wow, it is so nice to know that I am not the only one asking this question. Especially last year when my FIL passed away. I really had to lean into the Lord and trust Him for His perfect plan. It has honestly been the worst thing I have gone through since my Mother passed away 15 years ago. And this time because he was ONLY my FIL, not a lot of people knew what I was going through because how could you be so close to someone who is technically not even family. This just had me relying on the Lord all the more.

A lot of the times I question the Lord's plan for me and want to make my own plans. I know the truth of the matter is that I will go around the same mountain over and over until I give it to Him but evidently it seem I like the scenic route 🙂

Dearest Lord, thank You for this wonderful lesson. Thank You for showing me through this lesson that You are not disappointed in me for not always agreeing with Your plan. But still Lord, whether I agree or not, I know Your plan is the best. It will glorify Your name and that is all that I want. I love You with all my heart and I thank You for loving me more than I can ever imagine. Lord, again as I sit here, I ask for Your will to be done and for You to give me the strength and to lead me where You need me to go and to be. Give me wisdom to know when it is You talking and when it is just my own fleshly desires. Thank You so much for all You have done for me, I am excited to see what You have planned. Amen.

Dear Brides, have you ever as a child played the game where you would be blindfolded and a friend would lead you and make sure you do not hurt yourself. You never feel confident, you always put your hand out in front of you to make sure they are leading you the right way. When the Lord blindfolds us for the future, it is not to hurt us, but to teach us to trust in Him alone. To hold His hand and walk confidently next to Him and not try on our own to find out where we are going because He already knows 🙂

“No Worries, I’m Smiling :)”

Before I do anything else tonight, I just want to praise the name of the Lord. He has brought me so far and until today I have not realized how much so:) At work, the end of February means tax reconciliation, which is never a problem because mine is always never more than a few rand or so different. But this year is different because I worked a lot of special duties due to our country having hosted other countries. This means a lot of overtime which is taxed more than my normal pay because of the long hours we work (anything from 12 to 20 hours a day for 2 weeks at a time).

So, this year a friend of mine also worked on the last special duties and she came to check her salary, I had not even checked mine by then. So when she came and saw the reduction on her salary for the end of the month, she asked me to check mine. Which I did, and as the two ladies were standing there seeing that mine was reduced by double than hers, their mouths fell open! Someone passing saw their faces and asked, “why do they look so worried while she(me) is smiling?” At that stage I did not even realize I was smiling, and even before I could answer her question, my friend answered: "Because she trusts the Lord and she knows He will provide."

Then she continued telling them about how when she could see just after my FH moved out that things were really going bad for me financially, and when she would ask me, "But how will you cope?" she says, I always said: "The Lord will provide."

Before I met my HH and only knew Him as God, I use to fret about stuff like this and make my plans. Now, I just smile at the future and wait for Him to supply ALL my needs:):):) It really gladdens my heart to know that my life can be a testimony to what the Lord can do. Thank You Lord, I never knew!

And so He does, more than we can ever dare to dream:)

As always He is so true to His word. Things turned around for me when I started tithing and giving when I had nothing. Of course I too were tested to see if I was going to continue with this even when it was at it's darkest and my HH kept His promise as I knew He would:)

“Carry Me the Rest of the Way

Dear Brides, whenever someone would ask you: "When do I give up?" when you are a Christian I am sure your answer will definitely be: "Never!" But when you read the chapter “When Do I Give Up?” of Living the Abundant Life like I read this week, you may just get another refreshing point of view that will leave you a lot lighter after you have discussed it with your HH:)

It all began because I had been questioning whether or not I was really not wanting Restoration anymore is me giving up. And previously the Lord has set my mind at ease about this and I do believe that this lesson “When Do I Give Up?” of Living the Abundant Life is just an absolute confirmation of that.

I have really learned that there is a huge difference between giving up and giving over. On my journey I have had some problems with letting go and allowing my Lord to take over. In doing so I have just exhausted myself. And I am of the believe that my HH allows me to become so tired that I have no other choice but to fall into His arms completely depleted of all energy so He can carry me the rest of the way.

I have been asking the Lord for wisdom to discern between giving up and giving in and let Him take it all. Taking up His yoke, for it is much lighter than the one I am trying to put on myself.

Because I am a fixer, it has always been like that. I feel I have to fix everyone’s problems for them. One of the most difficult things to do for me is when someone comes to me with a problem, to just point them to the Lord instead of trying to fix them myself.

Dear Lord, thank You so much for the wonderful confirmation that You gave me through this lesson. I really do think that I need a lot of help in this regard, because just as I give You one problem, I take on another. This leaves me tired and I know this is not what You have planned for me. And Lord to be honest if someone does that to me I immediately feel as if they do not trust me. I know You know much better than that and that I do trust You. Sometimes my flesh gets in the way:). Thank You so much for understanding even better than I do myself. You are just wonderful and Your teachings are amazing. I love You with all my heart.

Dear Brides, this wonderful chapter has taught me the difference between giving up and giving it to our precious Lord. If we struggle with our problems ourselves we will just get run down. Think of it this way: Have you ever seen people riding a tandem bike up on the water, those pedal boats you get. Well, usually it takes two to get you anywhere. But when your life is intertwined with the Lord and you are His passenger, your feet just have to go through the motions because He is doing all the hard work already. But what we try to do is pedal ourselves to the point of exhaustion and please know that our dear Lord will let us. He is such a Gentleman. And then when you are at the end of your rope and give in and not up, He will take you to the finish line, all you have to do is sit back, trust Him and enjoy the view:)

“Gave Me His Word Before the Trial”

The Lord works in mysterious ways... How many of us has heard those words. Well, for me my dear HH works in wonderful ways!!! My MIL was diagnosed with kidney cancer 5 years ago, but it being caught early (already a miracle from the Lord), she only had an operation, no chemo. So every year she had to go for checkups and scans. This year was the last year she had to go for a scan, from next year it is just sonars. Then the Lord made it so that she received a full body scan for free this year. Usually it is just a scan of her abdomen and not free at all:) So in the scan the doctor caught a tumor inside my MIL's heart. It had to be removed immediately! Three weeks after the operation and my MIL is well on her way to recovery and the tumor was benign. Praise the Lord!!! If it was not for the free full body scan, the tumor would not have been found and as the doctor says inside the heart this is a ticking time bomb, collecting blood that may clot or so many more other complications.

I thank my HH for saving my MIL and I cannot wait to see what He still has planned for her life. I love Him so very much:)

"And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the Lord thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the Lord that healeth thee." (Exodus 15:26 KJV)

Even before we found out about my MIL, the verse "I am the Lord that healeth thee" was in my head. And then when I heard about my MIL, I was not worried because the Lord said that He is the Lord that heals. He comforted me even before the trial hit. How wonderful:)

“Because of a Sincere Prayer”

Dear Brides, I do not think we really know what faith is until you have seen it through the eyes of Elijah. The excitement He felt at seeing just a little cloud. I remember long ago I was visiting relatives in a very hot part of our country where rain is not that often. We were sitting outside and a little cloud about the size of a small car came floating over us. We were joking about how rain is on it's way. If only I knew about Elijah then...What stood out for me the most in this week's chapter was holding on to the promises of the Lord when we feel our faith is failing us. We can only hold on to His promises when we stay in His word. I have learned from experience that more I read His word, the stronger my faith in Him becomes, knowing that every word in there was written with me and you in mind:):):)

I so enjoyed this chapter “Small as a Man’s Fist” of Living the Abundant Life. It was so encouraging to see the faith of Elijah. The part ‘Prepare your chariot and go down, so that the heavy shower does not stop you.’’ gave me goosebumps!! Look at Elijah's faith, and I was thinking about how Jesus said in Matthew about having faith like a mustard seed. Do you think Elijah's faith can be compared to a mustard see yet?

Having faith like that is so wonderful and although I trust the Lord for so much in my life, I am not nearly there. The previous weekend we had some rain. On Friday, my little daughter was listening to a conversation between myself and my MIL and we were hoping for rain, and she sat there and immediately asked her sweet Jesus for rain. The next day it rained very lightly and she was so excited because Jesus listened to her, that she asked Him for rain again the next day. The next day we had even more rain. How wonderful this is! And it does not matter what the world says about the weather prediction etc, I do believe the Lord made it rain because of a sincere prayer from a little girl. So, I was thinking, if I can for now just have faith like my little girl, it will be enough:)

I will ask to have more faith in the Lord for every aspect of my life. To hold on to His promises. I do agree that the promises we get from the Lord we must hold on to. There is something I will never forget once I started my RJ. We were on our way to sign the papers for the divorce and I was still frantic in those days :). I sat on my bed and I spoke to the Lord and said He must please calm me, and that I know it does not work that way but I need something from Him now. So I opened my Bible and my eyes came on a verse. It was not highlighted so how my eyes fell on this verse can only be the Lord and the verse was: Matthew 9:22 (KJV) "But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour."

This version comes the nearest to my "Afrikaans" version which translates to "your faith has saved you". Well since that verse I never doubted that the Lord is going to restore my marriage. I will admit that I have doubts on whether that is still what I want, but living in His will makes it easier, because I will go with whatever He decides 🙂

Dearest Heavenly Husband, You are the my everything. I cannot ever imagine life without You. I thank You for this lesson for showing me the faith of one man seeing a cloud as big as a man's fist. Let me have faith like that. Let me trust You even when I see nothing happening. In so many places in Your Word do You emphasize the importance of faith and I do believe that faith increases as our love increases. So Lord let me move even closer to You, love You more and then I know my faith will increase. I also ask for wisdom that comes only from You. I love you so much.

“Only Minutes To Live”

What a wonderful praise I have tonight:) The Lord has just showed me again how everything is in His hands, no matter what!!! My sister's BIL tried to commit suicide and I do not want to reveal anything unnecessary, but I need to tell you this to realize the severity of it all. He really researched the subject to make sure that he succeeds. By the time he was admitted to hospital and his family was contacted, the doctors did everything they could and just had him hooked up to machines to keep him alive in order for his siblings and dad to say goodbye. All of them lives about 12 hours drive from him so when they got there my sister informed us that the doctors said he may have only minutes or at the most a few hours before all his organs shut down and he dies. We were all praying and encouraging my sister (myself and my siblings are extremely close). But I felt a peace I could not explain to anyone. At first I thought that maybe the peace I felt was because I do not really know him very well, but of course it was the peace that could only come from my Husband's comfort. So, two weeks later, my sister's BIL was released from ICU and although his road to recovery may be a long one, his minutes turned into days, weeks, months and who knows years:). The Lord had other plans for him. I cannot wait to see what the Lord has planned for him. All my family and his family witnessed this miracle first hand. Even the doctors were so surprised, the nurses working in the icu cannot stop talking about his recovery. He is the Lord of healing:):):)

“Without Causing Collateral Damage”

Dear Brides, sometimes you may feel like you are in a pressure cooker with everything coming to a boil inside. I encourage you to read Chapter 6 That Amazing Grace of Living the Abundant Life because you will learn how to let off the steam without causing collateral damage:)

I know that reacting to something is much more than the words you speak, but what you say also plays a huge role. There is a verse in Proverbs that I absolutely love, specifically written for us by our dear Lord. It is Proverbs 31:26 and I want to give you a direct translation from my Afrikaans Bible, it says: "When she speaks, wisdom is on her tongue..." and I have pondered this a lot and have asked the question of the Lord, although I already knew the answer :). I said, “Lord, does this mean when I have nothing wise to say, I must rather keep quiet?” I think He smiled just then:):):). Now, when it comes to trials, there are so many emotions going on inside us that we rarely have something wise to say. Get my point?

The first time I read this chapter, it made me think of my two sisters. I am the baby of the family and therefore had my two children last. I was still in school when my two sisters had their first children. And as I watched them, through my eyes they looked so competent and never looked out of control. I never could imagine myself being a mother with such grace :). So when I had my firstborn, the first few months I felt as if I did not know what to do and one day when I could not take it anymore, I cried to my eldest sister (did not know by then I had my dearest Husband to cry to) and I asked, how did you do it. And what my sister said always stayed with me, she said “my dearest sister, to you I may have looked in control but whenever I could I took a bath and cried in bathroom!” Which I never knew. I have always looked back on that day and I thought that I want to appear like that and cry in the bathroom. Now that I have the Lord, it is even better!! I can face the world with a smile on my face not because I have everything under control, but because HE has. I use my bathroom less frequently now for crying:):):)

I have definitely learned from experience and it was confirmed by this lesson to not voice my opinion whenever I get the chance. I agree that maybe I will still go through the trial whatever I say, but how I go through depends a lot on my reaction to it. And the trials I go through gracefully, I look back on and my first reaction is: "Hey that wasn't so bad" And I believe the main reason for this is because I did not make my circumstances worse with the words I uttered.

Myself and a friend were just discussing the other day how our reaction to what happens influences the outcome. She had information about her husband that she did not know what to do with. And I explained to her that when I found out about the affair my FH was having (by snooping which I should not have done in the first place), I confronted him. And I know the Lord has allowed this for a reason, but I told her that my reaction to what happened definitely changed the outcome. If I said nothing, things may have been different. And just recently with my MIL in the hospital I went through a trial without grace and again things may have turned out differently if I just took it to the Lord before I reacted.

I am not where I should be with doing it gracefully:) But in my defense and because of my Husband, I am getting there :).

Dear Lord, thank You for this lesson. Thank You that You tell us that Your grace is enough for us. Help me to face my daily life with the grace You have given me so the world may see You and want what I have, which is a wonderful relationship with my Lord. Help me to react to things gracefully. You know my circumstances at work at the moment and I am definitely not facing it with grace. I am so sorry I never consulted You before everything changed at work. Thank You for reminding me that I should know You in EVERYTHING I do and then You will make a way for me. I love You so very much! 🙂

Living the Abundantly Life book is very aptly named. It challenges me to really go deep into what the Lord wants from me as His bride and as a mother and an example to younger women.

“Living Life Like a Winner”

Dear Brides, I have learned in Chapter 9 “What’s the Point?” of the “Living the Abundant Life” course that the Lord wishes for us to be happy, to have our heart's desires, and if something happens that is maybe not scheduled into our plan, if we talk to Him about it, He will show us that it was definitely in His plan. And then we will see if we look back that we have been living the abundant life all along 🙂

If you have not yet started reading this book, you are definitely missing out on a blessing in your life. The Lord wants us to live the abundant life. He wants to do more than we would ever dare to ask or dream. Has anyone person in your life ever done that for you? Please read how the Lord longs to do that for you!!!

“Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you, and therefore He WAITS on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; how blessed are all those who long for Him” (Isaiah 30:18).

How blessed are all those who LONG for Him. In so many verses do I read the words, longing and waiting for Him while we rush on with our lives. To me longing and waiting happens when we sit quietly with Him every day 🙂

I definitely do not feel the desperation I once felt to have my marriage restored, but I never thought of it as winning either. This was so refreshing for me. Yes, I definitely gained much much more than I ever lost, so this makes me the WINNER!!!

The last part of this chapter saying that we have been living the life we always dreamed of, made me think. What is it that I am doing that I would not have been able to do with a husband living in the home with me. As I started thinking the list just grew longer and longer. And something that stood out for me is the fact that I get to spend more time with my brothers and sisters, something I never got to do so regularly while I was still married and something that I was longing for. We were so close growing up which my ex-husband never understood because he was never as close to his brother. I believe being 5 siblings raised alone by my mother alone, brought us much closer together. Which brings me to my next point. I have always wanted my children to be as close to each other as we were. My two children are inseparable!!! Everyone comments on the bond they have and some even think they are twins:):):). These are just a few of my hearts desires that my precious Heavenly Husband gave to me. You may have noticed that I did not mention spending more time with Him because I never knew that I had Him in the first place. So finding Him in the mess I made of my life was the best thing that happened to me and I believe it was a desire that I never knew I had and He made it come true all the same:):):) He knew that while the world was seeing this perfect family, my heart always felt like it was missing something. I had everything I ever wanted and still felt empty. My Heavenly Husband knew that the craving was for Him and He made it happen. So in Him I found my abundant life!!!

I want to live my life like the winner I am. Waiting and longing for Him, knowing that He has even more in store for me. He is just that kind of Man. The One that keeps on giving. Not because I deserve it, but because He loves me.

Something happened this week and just as I was writing this lesson, it occurred to me. Thank You Lord, another lesson from You!!!!!! I have to not only love but be nice to others. It should not be something that anyone deserves, it should just be something I give because I love them and most importantly because my dear Lord loves them. And because it is important for Him. I must shift my focus on what people are doing to deserve my love, respect, etc, and focus on the fact that He wants me to do it and I must do it for Him. To change my mindset, like that makes it easier because I can see people like He sees me. Oh I love Him so much.

Lord, I come to You with so many flaws. You know I would have long ago given up on me if I were You 🙂 That is why I am so blessed that You are who You are!!! I can never face a day without You again. It is so comforting to know that nothing can happen to me without Your okay. It means You have the confidence in me to know I will turn to You when anything happens to me. Thank You for making me a winner, You are the ultimate prize. I cannot ask for more!!! Dear Husband, thank You for revealing to me that I should treat people like You want me to and not according to their works. I love You so very much and You are so sweet and loving to me that I can never imagine my life without You. Thank You for allowing me to get divorced. Thank You that my husband remarried. I can now understand why it had to happen. It is the best thing that could have happened to me. Thank You for showing me the abundant life You have planned out for me. Amen.

“He Wants to Rescue Me”

How wonderful my Heavenly Husband is to me. He did something in me that I never thought was possible. I am a person that can fret about something and it is not easy for me to give over control. I like being in control and doing instead of waiting. But He:):):)

The battery light in my car was flickering and I thought that maybe the battery needs replacement. I mentioned it to the person parking next to me as we work in the same building and he said that he will not drive off until he sees my car is not there that afternoon so he knows my car started. So, that afternoon I had no trouble starting my car and so I wrote it off as maybe just a little connection failure and put no more thought in it.

The next day, the Lord told me, it is not over yet and I asked the Lord, so what must I do and He answered, nothing. Really nothing, please confirm Lord. What was I thinking the answer would be:).

Ladies to be honest, it was a little difficult for me to not pull into a battery center to get my car tested as I knew it could be the alternator as well. But I left it. So a few days later on my way to work listening to worship music, my car died on me.

But here is the wonderful part: I was totally out of the way of the traffic as I was on the left side of the road in order to turn left -we drive on the left side of the road:). Even better was the way I was feeling, so calm and collected. I called my roadside assistance and my mechanic. Roadside assistance was there within 45 minutes. In this time the person from the insurance phoned me maybe 4 times to find out if I am still okay, if I need anything etc:). My car broke down 2 blocks from work, so I could have phoned anyone at work and they would have been there within minutes to "rescue" me. But this is not what the Lord wanted.

So when the tow truck took my car, I could take a wonderful stroll in the cool morning air and refresh my soul with the Lord and I was only 20 minutes late.

And this is not where it ends: The Roadside assistance is free of charge with the tow-in. When the mechanic checked my car it turned out it was the regulator of the alternator and it just so happens that he had one lying around and replaced it for me FREE OF CHARGE and I got my car back the same day!!!

Had I tried to resolve this myself the result would have been the same, a fixed car, but without the many blessings that came from Him doing it for me. How wonderful my Husband is teaching me to depend on Him alone. I read something the other day and this was in my own language but I will translate as best I can: "God did not create your husband to be your all, that is His place. Sometimes He uses your husband to supply your needs, but that is just a bonus. Only God can supply your needs and can fill you completely"

Wow, this really touched my heart that I would read this just after this took place, because the Lord just confirmed to me that all the people in my life that love me can be used to supply my needs but the Lord wants me to come to Him so He can choose who to send my way. I am full of love and awe for my Heavenly Husband that is just so... I have no words that will do Him even the slightest of justice:):)

The Lord has given me this verse all year long, actually since my FIL passed away a year ago, to tell me that I must be still and know that He is God and He will be exalted:)

And so He did and still does every day:)

I need not fight any battles. I can just sit back and relax and let the Lord do it for me:):):)

“Situation Changed in an Instant”

How wonderful the Lord is!! I know you already know:), but let me tell you how He changed a situation in an instant!

At work I have really been busy the last few months, taking on more responsibilities and being everyone's go-to-girl. And it came to a point where I did not like what this was doing to me. I have learned to be content in my work, although I would like to become a worker at home:) What turned the situation around was when a co-worker's husband passed away. Although I felt sorry for her, one of my first thoughts was what this is going to mean for the added work to me. Yes, ladies, shame on me:( Therefore, I cried out to the Lord and said Lord, this cannot be from You.

And He then led me to talk to my commander, but not being sure if this was where I was being led by Him, I asked for confirmation. On a Friday evening, the commander phoned me requesting some things from me, something she never does and nothing that could not have waited until the Monday. Thank You for confirming Lord. So, the Monday, I told her that I will not be able to do all of the work well and there will be things left undone due to my workload. She understood fully. As it turns out, someone requested a transfer to our department and although she was meant for another section, she was re-assigned to ours. Thank you Lord:):):)

I was called in and told to get all my work ready for this person to take over and they are thinking of using me for something totally different if I should agree to it. Wow, my dearest Lord, how wonderful You are:) The new responsibilities I am taking over is something I have been wanting to do for years. And as soon as I have everything in place, it will not keep me so busy, which will mean I will actually be able to take lunch and tea times again:) and read my Encourager and my lessons. How blessed we are to have Him to turn to for everything!

What a wonderful promise we have from Him. Just remembering that HE will give us rest if we GO to HIM.

I have been struggling for months, but did not do anything until He told me to. Had I done anything earlier the results may have been very different. He is really teaching me to wait upon Him.

“Every Detail of My Life”

My children are going away on holiday with their dad for a week. Due to weather and time constraints, all their clothes were not dry yet to pack. While I was hanging the last of the clothes on the washing line I was telling the Lord that I am not sure if these clothes are going to be dry in time. Then I said to the Lord, that it is okay, whatever should happen, I know He has it under control.

Five Minutes later their dad sent me a message apologizing that he is going to be later than originally arranged. This gave me enough time to pack and spend some time with my children before they left for a week.

This may not seem like much to anyone but can I tell you that when He answers these quick prayers, He amazes me more than when He does the big things. Because He just shows me again and again that every detail of my life is important to Him. I love Him for it:):):)

He has all the hair on my head numbered. Even the gray ones:) But even knowing this, He surprises me every single day with His love for me.

“I Used to Blame Him”

Dear Brides, no one likes to hurt, no one likes to be rejected. Yet, it happened to all of us at one stage of our lives. Instead of keeping on healing that wound superficially, the answer is here. If you want that festering wound in your heart to heal read this chapter "From the Inside Out" from Living the Abundant Life Course. Let the Lord do the healing for you and even better, let Him give You a brand new heart and spirit 🙂

Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you . . . —Ezekiel 36:26

He has done just that, I love the new heart and spirit He gave me:)

It again came through to me that sharing my circumstances with others that are not of a like mind will just cause pain and suffering and will also just allow them to speak negative things into my situation. Just this week, myself and some friends spoke about how it is better not to talk about everything.

In this chapter, it is spoken of the "wound of the heart" and how a wound can fester. I have always thought with my head, I had to be able to explain everything. I always looked into the psychology of everything. Instead of thinking what someone is doing, I always looked for the why. So, a lot of the time I would wonder why I was molested as a child and had it just been one person, I would have blamed them, but obviously, because it was more than one family member, it must have been me right? So I was walking with this deeply embedded wound inside of me, and yes it was festering, but no one knew. I told no one, I was too ashamed. So, whenever it would try to surface, I would plaster it up even further. So much so that I almost thought maybe I forgot. But I did not, seeking approval from men and later my ex, was my way of dealing with it. So when my ex left me, there was rejection added to the mix, the feeling that I am not good enough for him.

So finally my well-plastered heart broke in pieces and everything came spilling out. Every hurt that I so nicely tucked away and my dear Lord came and instead of just plastering it up again, He made it totally new!!!

The Lord is the only one I speak to now about all my hurts. Later I will give a testimony at how He took me out of the situation. But while I am in it, I really try to just keep it between us. Sometimes I would tell a dear friend of mine but just because I know she would encourage me and she will not allow me to wallow in self-pity. LOL, and when I do tell someone about it later, I look back and think, that should have been more painful, but someone, the Lord made it so it was not:) This new heart of mine does not allow me to bury or plaster anything over. Because the moment I discuss it with Him, He takes it away:)

I can honestly say that sometimes forgiveness is a daily task for me. Forgiving what has been done and not looking back, but I can also say that the Lord is working on me:) To see how far He has brought me on this Journey with Him:):):)

Dear Lord, thank You for this heart and this spirit that is within me. I praise You for what You have done in my life and Lord, please let Your will be done. Lord, place forgiveness in my heart and Lord You know I blamed You for what happened, but now I come to You and I thank You. Lord, thank You for allowing me to be molested as a child. What was meant for evil, You will turn around for good. That is Your promise and that is why I rejoice today, because nothing happens without Your knowledge and that means it is already in Your plan. I love You and I pray that I will feel the peace that surpasses all understanding in this as well. Amen.