SS 4 “I Want What You Have”

While seeking God for wisdom to know what Salvation Story I should begin writing about today (since I made an entire list of more than a dozen who know Him from my family alone), what jumped out when I looked over the previous two chapters was how being raised as a Catholic and the unique struggles and challenges that this often poses to people who have been raised Catholic— knowing Him personally.

Over the years, I’ve begun to understand that none of us needs to abandon our “faith” or leave a particular church denomination, as I mentioned briefly in the last chapter. Soon after I felt called to stop attending church myself in order to embrace becoming the Lord’s bride (Loveatlast.ORG/His-bride), which helped me stop focusing on what "church" someone attends or doesn't attend. I am thankfully no longer the "judge" (and began to understand much more after He Healed Me: How God Can be Trusted to HEAL Your Heart "Washed in the water of His Word."). That's when I began to see that many true believers attend a Catholic church, just as there are many within the "accepted" Christian church denominations who don’t know the Lord personally at all.

Long ago, I abandoned the customary way the church emphasizes denominations and the variety of different doctrines. Why emphasize our differences when all that matters is that each person knows the Lord personally? Once their relationship with Him is secure, I’ve witnessed firsthand that He will then show each person His plan for their life with Him! It also doesn't matter what name they are comfortable calling Him. I guess the "church" missed reading this part of the Psalms where God says, "Behold, how good and pleasant is it when brothers dwell together in unity! For there the LORD commanded the blessing there—life forever" (Psalm 133:1).

The Salvation Story I’m excited to share this week is about one of my older sisters, Margaret. I’m not sure how faithful Margaret was about her Catholic upbringing. I have no idea if she continued attending mass after graduating from Providence, the Catholic girls' school next door to St. Joseph's Hospital, where I was born, and across the street from Walt Disney Studios, where our father worked as a cartoonist. But I do know that when our mother died, she found her comfort in acting out very religious Catholic rituals.

Thankfully, due to *something that happened to me when my mother died, I did not attend the memorial service she organized for our family. I’m not sure if these rituals were able to bring about much comfort or healing for my sister or Margaret's children, but if I had to guess, I’d say it was more of a bandaid or a plaster, covering the hurt but not healing it. The reason I believe this is how angry and mean my sister became after my mother passed away while caring for our older "challenging" sister, Pat (be sure to read Uniquely and Wonderfully Made for fun and laughs, mixed with tears).

It appears that pain is often covered over and isn't felt as acutely when you lash out and harbor anger. And losing my mother wasn’t the only pain Margaret had covered over. While a teen, she was forced to give up a baby for adoption. So it was only a matter of time before my sister would be forced to begin looking for relief from her pain and wanted peace for her damaged heart, which, she saw, I had in abundance.

Each week, I’ve reminded you of what God says, “Ye are our epistles written in our hearts, known and read of all men.” “You are our letter, written in our hearts, known and read by all people” (2 Corinthians 3:2), which means other people are "witnessing" and reading the chapters of my life and yours.

This is how and why my sister came to me; more accurately, she called to speak to me about it. When Margaret began talking, it was a bit difficult to understand what she was asking me, but soon I understood that, in a way, it’s just like the Bible shows us in the New Testament after his followers were emboldened— when people actually will come to you and ask!

It wasn’t that Margaret said, “What must I do to be saved?” Instead, she began saying she’d been watching how blessed my life had always been and wanted to know why. And when I corrected her and reminded her that I had gone through many difficulties and sometimes horrifying, unimaginable things, she said, “Yes, I know! But in the end, you always came out of everything blessed. So I want what you have and want to know, ‘How do I get it? How can I have your life?’”

So, to start, I first explained it wasn’t “What” I had but “Who” I had, and then I began to share "My Salvation Story." And that’s when she confirmed that she’d never heard anything explained to her like the nun God provided for me when she made her first communion and that no one had presented any of these critical things to her. Then Margaret said, “Well, I want it. I mean...I want Him, and I need to have the Lord in the way you do. So how do I do it?”

If, at this point, I had relied on the many times I’d been trained in “Leading people to the Lord,” I could have had her repeat words after me. Or, I could have read or quoted the verses on “The **Roman’s Road to Salvation.” Yet, since I was privileged to work as an altar worker, I would be at the front of our megachurch Assemblies of God church to greet women who came down when there was an ***altar call.

Then everyone (the altar workers and the people who came down wanting a relationship with the Lord) would leave together and go to a small room to discuss further what they’d come forward to receive). This helped me learn and discover just how simple and powerful this experience could be—while at the same time not at all intimidating. I knew encouraging these women to speak to God or the Lord directly was the right way for Margaret to meet her Savior personally and exceed her desire to "have what I had."

During the years I ministered in RMI while still attending our evangelical megachurch, to the dismay of the lead "salvation" pastor, I was almost always the last to leave the altar room. The reason is—I needed to give each woman (in a group of three or sometimes as many as a dozen) all the time each needed to speak to Him themselves. I’d begin by explaining that “prayer” was simply speaking to God or the Lord (whichever she was most comfortable with). I'd explain that simply talking to Him as a Person was far better than repeating a formal prayer. So, almost always, there would be long periods of silence while we waited patiently and kept encouraging the women to simply speak to Him from their hearts.

In addition, I always clarified that, like any close relationship, they needed to be alone and spend time together away from a group to develop a meaningful, close, intimate relationship. The church is great for fellowshipping with like-minded people and making close friends, but intimacy is done privately. I'd make sure they understood that spending time talking with Him often was important because He would now be there with them 24/7. Then I explained the deep assurance of their salvation when they felt His peace, which would begin to envelop them. And finally and most importantly, that from that day forward, they would look and feel differently: Not only to them, but others would notice how much they’d changed.

This is why I felt I needed to do things differently—I needed to be absolutely sure that each person (especially my sister when she phoned) didn’t just repeat a prayer—believing they were on their way to heaven. That means unless there was a time in your life when you changed so radically that you became a new person, you most likely never met Him, and you don't yet know Him personally. It's not my opinion but what our Savior said, "So don’t be surprised or marvel when I say, ‘You must be born again'" (John 3:7). This is something to get excited about because today's the day your life will change!

In this next verse, you can see for yourself the dangers of assuming repeating a prayer is your ticket to heaven and not a clear life-changing moment that happens with no effort on our part. God says that even our most well-known and famous "religious" leaders will fall short of spending eternity with Him. Read what our Savior said, “Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness’” (Matthew 7:24-25).

Once you are introduced to and begin a real relationship with the Lover of your soul, you can’t help but change; therefore, you no longer “practice” lawlessness because hanging around Him changes you! It’s also why I don't believe people should “try” to change (and promise to never, ever "try" to get other people to change). Change comes naturally without effort once you begin hanging around with the Lord after meeting Him personally. As I said in Chapter 1 of A Wise Woman for His Princess or Prince, I highly recommend you ask Him to become your Best Friend because who of us doesn't want a Friend who will always be there for us, have our backs, comfort us and help us come through the many difficulties life throws our way?

Sorry, let's get back to my sister. Once I shared all of this with Margaret, I didn’t ask her to pray or speak to the Lord while we were on the phone. Instead, I told her to go to a quiet place after we hung up and speak to Him privately, telling Him everything she'd told me she wanted. Not long after, the phone rang, and hearing her crying, she said, "Erin, it's so hard to describe how I feel right now." Perhaps you've read something similar to Vana in “The Heartbroken Heiress" (that we use to minister on HopeAtLast.com and our HomeGrownMinistry.com websites). 

It's been incredible watching the ongoing changes in my sister, which proved she had indeed come to know Him personally. The greatest and most extreme test of her relationship with Him came when her precious son, Jacob, was murdered (which became the epilogue to Chapter 5, Heroin Addict). I have no idea if Margaret still attends the Catholic church because, as I said, that doesn’t matter. He doesn’t care if you attend church or what pew you sit in as long as you sit with Him and sit close to Him often while you're all alone. And you can’t help but want to sit quietly with Him because the feeling you experience just can’t be described or manufactured any other way!!

Even now, my family is in awe of the change and healing that’s taken place in my sister’s life!! One that I was very shocked and rejoicing in was a picture I saw of my sister doing the makeup for a bride. When I realized who the bride was, I was stunned. The young bride was the daughter of the OW, the "other woman" of her former husband, who was all grown up and getting married! If you knew my sister, Margaret, you’d understand this is almost as much of a miracle as seeing her walk on water (giggle).

So again, never forget that people are watching you and your life. Your family, coworkers, neighbors, and strangers are reading to see how you live, how you act, and especially how you react when all hell comes against you.

Furthermore, the only way your family and the world around you will "want what you have," and a fantastic way to turn up the volume of the audiobook of your life is to spend a lot of time with Him. That way, when (not if) the trials and tribulations and storms hit your life, you will not only come through without smelling like smoke like the youths we come to know in Daniel 3:27, but you will shine brighter for the people in your world to see.

*What happened to me when my mother died? It's discussed briefly in "Angry or Heartbroken."

**The Roman’s Road is a list of verses from the book of Romans explaining salvation's whys and hows.

***An Altar Call typically occurs at the end of a church service when the preacher explains that it’s important to be saved and accept His gift of Eternal Life.