I would like to continue where I left of Tuesday when I shared how my Husband used my move to start restoring my relationship with my former mother-in-law.
But firstly I would like to apologize for not posting the next lesson for RYR yesterday, somewhere with the move I lost a day or two! I am so extremely sorry for my mistake!
Since my own mother passed away in 2001, I embraced my mother-in-law when we got married, we weren't extremely close immediately, but after the children were born we got very close. As their grandmother I involved her in everything, when there was a sport day or concert or any special event at kindergarten, I invited her to go along. I would invite her to visit over weekends at least once per month and took the children to her for sleep overs at least once per month.
Although she said from her two sons and her two daughters in law, I was the only one that phoned her weekly or send her messages or would even respond to her messages, I wasn't perfect. After I found out about my fh adultery, I became bitter towards him and it also put a bit of strain on me and my mother in law's relationship and I would complain about her to my fh, I guess I wanted to get back at him in different ways.
During the last year of our marriage, when things were really tense, I also noticed that she withdrew from me, later I found out she was supporting my fh and the ow without me knowing it. After the divorce was filed she stopped inviting me into her house for coffee when I dropped the kids off, I had to meet her at the main gate of the retirement village where she stays, and that was it. No more calls or messages or anything from her side, so I also stopped contacting her and we didn't talk again, only greeted when she had to pick up the kids at my place or I had to go and drop them off at her place.
Because I already started the courses on HopeAtLast, I was also able to let go of this relationship and respected the fact that she now supported my fh and the ow.
But this past Sunday, while I was busy moving, she phoned me, she said that she wants to help me because she knows I am all alone and it must be extremely difficult for me. I just accepted because she was so sincere and I forgave her a long time ago and I asked her forgiveness for my mistakes as well after the divorce, although it didn't change our relationship. So I met her at the old house on Monday and she helped me to pack the last stuff and to load everything in her car and mine. She drove behind me to the new house, we drank coffee and talked like old times, then she helped me to hang the last curtains and then she had to leave because it was getting dark.
From what she said I realized that she is not seeing my children a lot, and it broke my heart. I told her that my door is open and that she is always welcome to come and visit her grandchildren. But I will leave it up to my HH and her and I respect the fact that she must be loyal to her son and the ow.
But I do want to praise my Husband for restoring this relationship and using my move to do it. It is sad to know that she missed out so much of her grandchildren and I will support her rebuilding their relationship. When I let the relationship go, I knew that my HH would someday restore it if it was in His plan and will.
Adina it’s wonderful that he is restoring the relationship between you and your MIL. Also, I see Him restoring your children’s relationship to her too.
Just a few things I took from the RYR Chp 2:
“If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out, and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.”
What does this mean practically to me? If your computer/phone causes you to sin, get rid of it or only allow yourself to use it only for particular purposes that you determine as being for good. Are you tempted by your TV? Get rid of it or it could be as simple as limiting the hours or programs you watch. Whatever is causing you to sin, take drastic measures to get that thing out of your life.
Its so hard to not speak our mind. Today’s world suggest we are weak if we do not. Which way is harder though? It’s harder to remain quiet- it takes Gods strength for that- not weakness.
“Agree with your adversary quickly!” (Matt. 5:25, KJV). “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov. 15:1). “The beginning of strife is like letting out of water, so abandon the quarrel before it breaks out” (Prov. 17:14). “Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise . . .” (Prov. 17:28).
Forgiving others is obedience, however, we also need to forgive others so that we don’t grow bitter. If God forgives us often for the same sins over and over, we need to forgive others.
Thank you for sharing Hope, I did start to read through RYR2 but will SG this week about it and share it next week, things are less crazy now.
Yes I think if our phones/TV/computers are leading us to sin, or taking our time away from our HH, or we use it to spy on husbands/ fh, then its better to do whatever we can to change our habits. Fast Facebook by closing your account and then later on open an account to use for ministering. (https://hopeatlast.com/c2/d1-securing-your-success-1/, https://hopeatlast.com/c2/fasting-facebook/
Oh yes it is very difficult to keep quiet / zip your lips, and it can only be achieved through His strength and not through our own strength. But there is so many blessings in being able to www, I have seen it in my own situation so many times.
Forgiveness is probably the hardest thing to do, but we do out out of obedience and because He forgives us. And we do it for ourselves, to start to heal, to not grow bitter and for the burden of unforgiveness to be lifted. It was a difficult journey for me, and I guess that is why He chose me to speak about forgiveness on the WW retreat, He chose the weakest vessel, but what He shared through me, also reminded me of why we have to forgive.