Chapter 14

Living Lesson 87

“Love Languages”

“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous;
Love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly.
Love does not seek its own, is not provoked.
Love does not take into account a wrong suffered.
Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails . . .”
—1 Corinthians 13:4

ErinYouTube Podcast

Today's Living Lesson is called “Love Languages.” Now, let me say right up front because I don't want this to become a bait and switch, meaning I'm telling you I'm going to talk all about love languages. In a roundabout way, I am, but not in the way that you might be excited to hear if you adhere to that whole premise. To be honest, I believe the whole concept, things like this, tough love or love languages, is entirely hogwash. 

Since the whole presumption that “love languages” are valid is the exact opposite of the overall truth in God’s Word. It is selfish to expect everyone else to know how we want them to speak to us, knowing their language. Therefore, it's contrary since we should be trying to understand others. Making sure that their needs, wants, and desires are all met by people who, quite frankly, are bankrupt and cannot provide what they need is the other problem.

“And my GOD shall supply ALL your needs (not me or you) according to His riches in glory...” (Philippians 4:19).

“Let each esteem others better than themselves. Do not look out for your own interests, but for the interests of others. ” (Philippians 2:3).

That's just one of the many reasons I don't adhere to the whole “love language” nonsense. However, I wanted to share that if we focus instead on experiencing more of His love and having it so much that it's overflowing all over everyone close to us or anyone who even comes near us, they will be able to feel Him and then, He can then supply all their needs. 

Thus, this whole new love language is rubbish, and quoting it and getting people to become more and more selfish because we're born selfish and self-centered is just as ridiculous since it's all about dying to self (Galatians 5:17). 

Let me explain that I used that little nonsensical "Love Language" phrase when I asked my Husband while having breakfast, “What should we title this Living Lesson?”

So I have to say, He's right. As He said, it probably caught your attention, but here's the real message I wanted to share today: He is really, truly, and honestly all I want, all I need, and all I live for. Recently, I've had to really, well, consider whether this is true in my life because being a Pharisee is a dangerous and slippery slope (pretending your one thing and hiding the truth). 

Lately, it's been quite a journey, quite a journey, and because it's really easy to say, “Oh, He's all I want, all I need, and all I live for.” And you also might have said, “That's easy for you, Erin, to say” because, well, as you probably know from all my previous podcasts, or not all, but most of the previous ones, ever since the pandemic and our lockdown when I was living in paradise. I mean, every door that I came close to, my Husband, the Gentleman that He is, just opened the door for me. So I didn't even have to wonder what door I should go through.

Not only did He provide that, and of course, yes, this is the abundant life I’m living. When I would envision something—before I  needed to do anything—I would lean on Him, and He would allow me to be able to actually see where I needed to go and what I needed to do. It happened so many times, hundreds and hundreds of times that would happen.  

So when everything's playing out perfectly, it’s easy to say, “He is all I want, all I need, and all I live for.” But what happens if things don't work out like that? What happens when you're not living in paradise? When you're not living on a continuous vacation like I have been for almost two years? 

What's so funny is that as soon as I started writing down just a few notes, I totally forgot about Job's life. Job is the epitome of not living in paradise. Do you remember what his wife said? “Curse God and die!” I hadn't remembered this because, since moving from traveling on a restoration journey to my Abundant Life journey, I can't compare it to that kind of life, what Job endured, and his suffering.

However, as I was making my notes, my Husband reminded me that there's a significant backstory to the Restore Your Marriage book and A Wise Woman that I've never shared. You were given a little glimpse into the Abundant Life Series, which I wrote using the BNN as Michele.  

Since I hear my Husband's saying, “Just give them a little synopsis,” there was a time when I lost my entire income. I lost my ministry when my website mysteriously disappeared “poof” in one day. Completely gone. Next, I lost my children. Next, I lost my home, and finally, I even lost my country. I was driven from my country and left for the sake of my children's safety.

So the question is, can you live an abundant life when your life is like that? Can you remain in love, and can you feel His love in order to give His love? The answer is Yes, without a doubt, yes. If you read the entire Abundant Life Series, you can see that I haven’t always lived the life I’m living now.

Now, let's fast forward. It's been many years, so my children have all grown. They're all adults; all but one is married, and I'm almost 70. Goodness, I have to laugh because I thought, am I really going to share that? I was asking my Husband recently how I could live differently than the whole world, especially in the United States, who fear getting old, looking old, acting old—desperately trying to hang on to life, to youthfulness.

So I said, “Darling, I don't want to go with the trend because usually the trend is the wide road to destruction and misery. Instead, I want to take that narrow road. So help me to do that.” And that’s when He told me just to start saying, “I’m almost 70,” which is funny because it's like that with my grandchildren. As soon as my grandchildren have a birthday, the next thing they're saying is they're a year older! After turning 10, they say, “I’m almost 11." So I thought, "I'm going to do that." 

Sorry, let me get back on track. My children are grown, and I'm almost 70. I was living in paradise and then I went on a never-ending vacation for almost two years. But then, abruptly, everything began to unravel. There was significant loss and extreme difficulty thrown at me, which also included many of our favorite ministers being called elsewhere and leaving. When He'd given us the promise of expanding, bursting at the seams, we are down to a mere skeleton of what we once were— to the point where I wondered, “What is going on?”

Yes, I just have to say, “Please don't let me forget that here where I've been living is still “the lap of luxury.” But even when it's not, and where I'm living now (even though I'm still in the same area near Disney), I've been forced to move to (what my family fondly refers to as) Nicaragua.

Please understand that it’s nothing against Nicaragua. Though I haven't been there, my daughter ministered there twice, along with many of our RMI ministers, so I've heard firsthand that it's not like living in the USA. It’s a third-world country. The USA is a first-world country, a very rich country, yet it's been somewhat difficult for me to live here recently, especially since I still must move every few weeks, which means I've got nothing but a few pieces of luggage that I own. There’s no home to go back to, no storage where all my memorabilia is waiting for me.

It certainly is not like when I was down to having just one piece of luggage that held everything I owned, like when I was writing the Abundant Life Series. Nevertheless, Oh, and please, this is funny too. It didn't help when my friend came to visit and said when she walked in, “Oh my gosh, Erin (and in her Southern accent), this is a dump!” So I had to laugh. But here's the thing… 

Is He really all I want, all I need, all I live for? When people are saying, “Where is your God? Where is this Heavenly Husband?” I have to say, right now, today, “I can feel His love even more.” Just saying that makes me very teary-eyed. I also find that I utter lots of sighs—sighs of satisfaction and contentment. And just as I've proven to myself and to the other scoffers when they asked, “Why would you want that kind of abundant life? Why would you want it when you've gone through such deep, dark valleys? Why would anybody want to have what you have? Sure, I want what you have when everything's going well, but when it's not, and when you're living in a dry desert. No thanks!"

When you have blessings such as a restored marriage, an impossible marriage that God restored and everything's just, just one blessing after another. That’s when people say, “I want what you have,” but when you are called to go through underserved difficulties, that is a life no one wants. 

When people go out of their way to judge you, “She must be out of God's will, or I wonder what she’s being punished for, or She's being punished for the way she's living or what she's saying. Obviously, obviously, she's not right with God because she's being punished.” Will we forget about Job's “friends,” the sort of “friends” who'll remind you, then confront you to usher in the voice of the enemy, so in your head you think, “I'm disqualified. I'm not a good representation of His bride. “How can you have no abundance of blessings and still live “the abundant life?”

Well, that's the point—the whole point of this podcast. Living an Abundant Life is when you appear to have nothing but troubles and are still beaming. That's living proof that “He is all I want, all I need, and all I live for.” I am happy. I'm content. 

“They looked at Him and were radiant, and their faces will never be the same” (Psalm 34:5).

When my friends and family say, “You've got to, you've got to put up a fuss, make them move you into one of the new buildings, not this one, " even though I am so close to the freeway, I hear the elevator going up and down all night because it’s just behind my headboard, and everything feels like a nightmare.

That’s when I sleep like a baby because I lie down with my Husband, and I feel perfectly content because I know this is where He wants me to be for now. "When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet" (Proverbs 3:24).

How long will this continue? Who knows? God knows. No matter how long it is, whether I live in the lap of luxury and paradise or here in what we fondly call Nicaragua, a third-world country (situated right in the middle of the United States and all its abundance) I am content.

What's the proof? The proof is that as the Proverbs 31 Woman says, “She smiles at the future,” but His bride lives today. His bride is with the Man of her dreams, the Man who knows and can speak all the love languages. His “Love is patient, kind, not jealous, not arrogant or act unbecomingly. He does not seek its own, not provoked. He "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. His Love never fails . . .”(1 Corinthians 13:4).

As I close, let me ask you, “Do you hear Him whispering and calling your name?”  

If you enjoyed this message, if you love it, comment, but more than any accolade (because it doesn’t matter how much you admire me or praise me, “I loved your podcast”), what I'd love most is to hear your testimony. 

Thanks again for listening, and I hope you remain encouraged and, most importantly, that you’re in love with Him. 

Isabella in Costa Rica: “For your husband is your maker, whose name is the Lord of hosts, who is called the God of the all the earth, for the Lord has called you like, uh, why forsaken and grieved and spirit, even like a wife of 1 youth, when she is rejected, says your God.”

This lesson just got so close to my heart, because this December I am being guided by fear! I have 2 years living in this remote town 9 hours away from the city I used to live, and though the Lord blessed us with the money to go back and visit family and old friends. But the enemy always attacks, I was feeling very anxious about leaving my 3 dogs, 2 cats, and hens!! I mean nobody takes care of your animals like you! And the fact the we are leaving for 2 weeks made me feel afraid!
All the what ifs came to my mind! And then this powerful lesson came to me as a GPS for my life!
If the Lord is providing me a way to go, He will take care of all the details because today I am choosing to surrender!
Nothing in my life will escape out of His will!
He keeps drawing close to me when the spirit of fear wants to hold to my heart!
I am choosing love and being guided to the High places by my loving Shepherd!
I choose life with Him always!

My sweet friend, love conquers all fears!

Kateleen Joseph in Mauritius: This podcast made me smile when Erin said, "When everything falls apart, there is no one left, and accusations come from everywhere..." Ah, darling, really, I’m happy reading this lesson and seeing that you respond to everything I need. Thank you, Erin.

A little anecdote: every time I read a lesson from Erin, I feel like I’m seeing that young wife who has gone through many valleys. I don’t know if it’s our  darling who does this, but when we listen to the podcasts, we don’t realize the  years she lived with our  darling, so inspiring.

Ednah Imane in France: At the beginning of my journey, I wanted to restore my marriage on my own. I read a book on love languages, and because it was written and experienced by a Christian writer, I thought, "Why not?" I started to apply it by questioning my children and my husband on what they liked or didn't like. I exhausted myself for no result, my attitude annoyed them more than anything else. It was when I arrived here months later that I learned to let go, to win without a word, and above all, to find abundant life.

Since I left everything in His hands (restaurants, children, daily life, work), my mind is more open to listening to Him. Frankly, it is more pleasant to live simply and trust Him for the rest.

Today's promise, too, finally clicked in my head. I know that my Husband is the very definition of love and that I would have loved to live in my marriage. So, rereading the text, I replaced "love" with "my Husband." I realized that "my Husband is patient, full of kindness, He is not envious, He does not seek to show off, He is not puffed up with pride, He does nothing improper. My Husband does not seek his own interest, He does not get bitter against others, He does not plot evil. Injustice saddens Him, the truth rejoices Him, on every occasion He forgives, He trusts, He hopes, He perseveres. My Husband's Love has no end."

It is with this Man that I live. I am filled with love for Him, and it makes me want to follow Him and be like Him day after day. I do not find this whole character in others, maybe some traits, but not the entirety. I learned very early that a woman does not run after a man, but for Him, I break the rule! I run after Him, I call Him, I send Him sweet words, I love Him so much that I learn to speak like Him! I invent love songs! Because how can I be indifferent to the love of Someone who puts a smile on my lips every time I think of Him or listen to Him speak to me. I am like an 18-year-old girl when I am almost 50; I run because I want everything from Him, and He gives it back to me.

I got tired of looking for this love in my surroundings, our Beloved is whole and that is why I am fulfilled with Him, He is love.

I really encourage women to leave everything in His hands; don't try to fix things on your own, it will wear you out. Let Him take care of every aspect of your life to start living the language of His Love in you and for those around you, "without a word" but by simply smiling. He is just waiting for this relationship with you.

Read PRAISE 🙌🏼 that Encouraging Women post on our Encourager about having a Heavenly Father #HF.

Post YOUR Praise or Journal

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4 thoughts on “wLL 87 “Love Languages” Book 3, Chapter 14”

  1. So many times I expected somebody else to supply my needs, whereas I was bankrupt so how could I even expect from others not to be bankrupt. So this promise really stood out today: “And my GOD shall supply ALL your needs (not me or you) according to His riches in glory…” (Philippians 4:19). He, Himself (not my work colleagues, not my boss, not my friends , not my parents, not my children) will supply ALL my needs, not just some of my needs…

    This living lesson was again proof that the Abundant Life is a life with our Beloved Lord. For so many years I thought an abundant life would be to get my spouse back and to live with a beautiful car and in a beautiful house with our kids, happily ever after, but for me that now represents emptiness when He isn’t the main reason for the blessings and please don’t get me wrong, I totally believe our precious Beloved Lord wants to bless us, but a real true abundant life is a life with Him, when only He matters. I realize now He took the burden of my shoulders to try and figure out what is the next one’s love language, because He is the whole meaning of Love and if I don’t have enough of Him I can’t overflow.

    I really want to encourage woman to stop trying to figure out what is their spouse’s love languages (because maybe you will get him back when you figured that out and that I am saying with so much love, because that is what I did and what I thought), spend that time with our precious Beloved Lord, Who is the whole meaning of Love.

  2. Looking around at people l know, friends and family that are well off l have seen how they always have the best of everything. l used to feel like l need to fight and strive and go after what l want as well. His word says the complete opposite… Love is patient, Love is kind, it does not seek its own way, its not selfish and l am sure that when we start trying to practice Love Languages it makes us selfish and think about how we are not getting our needs met when the only one that can truly meet our needs is our Darling Husband who loves us unconditionally.

    Reading this has assured me that l can be content no matter where I am living or what my living situation is as we are mulling over moving back down to the South Coast after my daughter finishes high school to where we used to live. There are beautiful beaches but less work as it’s more of a holiday place along the coast, right now we are living in an industrial town where there’s better paying jobs. But it really does not matter where I live because HE is my Husband and HE will take care of me and my family no matter where we live.

    Yes! l can smile at the future 😊

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