wLL 79 “Slapped Again and Again”

Forgive and Forget

With slaps, insults, rejections— a lot of these things—also means we must forgive and forget. Recently, I've heard so many Christians say, “I forgive, but I’ll never forget.” Oftentimes, we are haunted and tormented by remembering painful situations, which can even continue for years. These, too, God can use for good. How? Just ask Him so He can prescribe a remedy for your healing, and then share it here.

Prior to the previous living lesson about bitterness or better, there is forgiving and forgetting. As I said, I have; I hear things like, “Well, I forgive you, but I'll never forget it.” The funny thing is, I am notorious for forgetting everything, and that's why I'm easily wounded again and again and again because I truly forget.

My daughter used to tell me all the time, “Mom, why are you doing that? Don't you remember that this person did this or that or something else?” And I say, “No. Oh, yeah, that’s right. I forgot.”

One of the funniest times I forgot, something I've shared before, but since my Husband brought it to mind, I'm going to share it with you here.

Years ago, just after I’d given birth to my seventh, I hand-wrote a thank you note to the doctor who’d attended the delivery. We had planned to have another home birth, but after number six was born at home—a healthy but huge 11-pound, 14-ounce (5.4 kg) baby boy—when I was in labor, my husband at the time, saying “No, we need to go, we need to go to the hospital.”

Later, I believe he really didn't want to go through a homebirth again because it was tough on him. He didn’t really do anything; he was there more of an observer than helping to deliver (he did cut the cord), but it was rough on him, especially after three days of labor.

Anyway, getting back to my last birth. We eventually went to the hospital, but because I had not come in for any prenatal appointments…Oh, I know you’re probably thinking, “Oh my gosh, this woman is crazy.”

Yes. You're absolutely positively right, but in the state where we were living, it was against the law for a midwife to attend anyone for a home birth after five births. So we didn't want a midwife to break the law. Plus, ultimately, either you’re trusting God for everything or you're not.

So, they, the entire hospital staff, especially the doctor who attended, treated me rather badly. Nevertheless, I must say, I don't blame them for it. I was in the medical field for close to twenty years, and I didn't like those who didn't comply. I didn't like it because you’re not trained for that. And so I feel for them. I'm sure that being unkind is not the way I treat someone; nevertheless, I get it. So this doctor was rather unkind, rather mean actually, each time he came in to check on my progress

Afterward, I ended up writing a long thank-you note. This is when there was actually paper and pen, and I wrote out this very long thank you note and mailed it to this doctor who had treated me horribly. As I said, when I forgive, I forget. I don't want to become bitter.

So, within a day, I wrote, and I sent this long thank you note to him, and when I told my husband, he said, rather angrily, “Are you crazy? Don't you remember that guy was horrible to you!? That doctor was awful!” And I said, “No, I, oh yeah, you're right. You're right. I guess he was.” But just days later, being slapped and treated rudely and roughly, the insult didn't stick—it just didn't stick. It was forgiven and forgotten.

I was happy. I had my baby, and all was well. Yet, here’s the amazing thing. A day or so later, I got a phone call from them. Because we hadn't planned a hospital birth and hadn’t had insurance for most of our married life, we had to pay the doctor and hospital bills entirely out of pocket.  So, when we got a call and they said they’d called to tell us that they were cutting our bill down to only a small fraction of what we were supposed to pay and that the doctor said he was also taking care of the hospital stay as well. Now, that's not a coincidence. It certainly wasn't in any plan that I had even dreamed could or would happen!

Obviously, it was God's plan to do it. It turned into quite a remarkable testimony. I have to say that as I'm thinking of this years later, more than 25 years later, I have to say the principles, God's ways, the way He's set up the universe, and then by sending a Savior who not only saved us from hell but gave us an example and His own words to live by—well everything changed.

Remember, this is new. This is all new. Our Beloved said, “This is the way we're going to begin acting. The beatitudes, the “attitude” of the way we need to “be.” These are the attitudes I want you to have, which, we know, are very difficult to do if you live apart from me, and you can't do them. And I'm going to say there's no way to do it, but with Me, with God, there’s nothing impossible.”

So I hope you think about my testimony, especially what your Beloved said while He was here.

Remember, it's not necessarily going to be a physical slap. I can't honestly remember ever getting slapped. I did get spit on, um, unfortunately, but you know, we know the One who was perfect and was spit on, which led to far worse. So please don't think for a moment that it's anything to brag about or to think for a moment that I've done something heroic because I haven't. However, I have been, in essence, slapped often enough. Things like, oh you know, doing good things for someone only to get slapped when they turned on me and treated me unkindly or slandered me.

Let's not be bitter. Let's be better. Let's make sure that we're connected to our Husband, who is the vine. We're just the branches. Never forget that apart from Him, we can't do anything—we won't produce any fruit, we won't stay nourished, we won't grow. So be willing and eager to get cut back and trimmed back, knowing that it means more fruit is coming.

That's what He wants to do. He uses all things for good. Always look for that. All of these things come together, and they weave together, even when it may seem like a total mess. But, if you flip it over, just like needlepoint, it's a beautiful picture that He's painstakingly weaving in your life. A life that’s messy and knotted, when He flips us over, we have a beautiful epistle that is sure to be read by all men, and your life will have great meaning.

This is really the abundant life He died to give you, and I can attest that it is absolutely worth having. So ladies, be encouraged.