“I Must Start Paying Attention”- Adina’s RJN-Chapter 9

After Elaine turned two years old, I decided I wanted another baby. Initially, I only wanted one child, but suddenly I had the desire to have another baby. Looking back, I don’t think I actually asked Kevin how he felt about it. I just told him and stopped taking birth control. We were so far apart because we worked opposite shifts, as I shared in the previous chapter. Kevin talked to me many times about how I had changed and that I did not give him any attention, but I always justified it. I always blamed it on being tired because of the shifts (I couldn't sleep during the day and had to drink sleeping pills) and us not seeing each other, but I know I didn't give him any attention; Elaine was my everything.

Again, I fell pregnant very quickly. Just like my first pregnancy, Kevin went with me to the obgyn for every appointment. At around 16 weeks, we found out it was a boy. The obgyn started treating me early for high blood pressure because I suffered pre-eclampsia with Elaine. But just as my first trimester came to an end, I got bronchitis, and for the rest of my pregnancy, I was sick. I was admitted to the hospital twice and placed on eight courses of antibiotics. On top of that, my blood pressure started to rise dramatically during my second trimester.

Although Kevin went with me to all the appointments, he was distant and not very supportive; it almost felt like he blamed me for being sick the whole time. We grew even further apart during this pregnancy.

Because of all the complications I experienced during my pregnancy, I again had to have a C-section. Everything went well, and Joshua was born. Joshua was a healthy boy, and after two days, we were released. But after two days at home, Joshua became very fussy and couldn't settle down; he did not cry, but he had to be held to sleep. The moment you put him down, he woke up again. Needless to say, we did not get a lot of sleep, creating more tension between Kevin and me.

After four months, I went back to work, and we stuck to working opposite shifts. Kevin suddenly developed a desire to work for himself; he started a plumbing course and got his Red Seal as a qualified and trade-tested plumber very quickly. We found a franchise opportunity for a plumbing business, and he resigned to start the franchise in our area while I kept on working. The plan was that it would eventually enable us to get out of the shift situation we were in.

The business started slowly because the competition was stiff, but soon people started to notice Kevin's ability, attention to detail, and perfectionism. He got more and more contracts for maintenance work at estate agents and complexes. But he changed a lot during this time, and at some point, it felt like the Lord told me to start paying attention to him and start doing things together. It gave me a wake-up call, and I started to give him more attention and looked for things we could do together, but he seemed uninterested.

Then, one week before Joshua turned one, my world fell apart. I was busy planning a birthday party for Joshua, and the invitations had already been sent. I was working the morning shift, and that Wednesday at around midday, there was an outside call coming in on the office phone. I can remember it being a local number. Because it was the office phone, I picked it up. A lady asked if I was Adina, and when I said yes, she just told me that Kevin and a lady at the gym, Celia, are getting very cosy and that I must pay attention to what is going on. I chose to believe Kevin when he told me nothing was going on between them. But unbeknownst to me, Celia's husband also received an anonymous call, and he forced a confession out of her. He found my number, and that Friday he called me to tell me everything that he knew.

I was in shock, and Kevin finally confessed to everything. Without saying anything, I took the kids that Saturday and left. I cancelled Joshua's birthday party and went to visit my brother. I just had to get away. All that I was thinking about was that this means we must get a divorce; that is what should happen, right? If your spouse cheats on you, you must get a divorce; there is nothing else that can be done in a situation like this. Still unsure of what to do, the children and I went home. It was late afternoon when we arrived home. Kevin's car was in the driveway, but all the lights were off. Something was wrong. I opened the front door and immediately saw Kevin lying on the floor, unconscious.