I Came to Know and Believe the Love That He Has for Me

“Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you, and therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; how blessed are all those who long for Him” (Isaiah 30:18).

“And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).

Dear brides, I am happy to finally be able to read this book. The first time I came to RMI was just because of this book. My marriage was not in crisis yet. Likely the instruction was that I needed to complete the finding the abundant life series first. I read the abundant life book because I wanted to read this book little did, I know that God was ahead of me preparing me for what was about to come. A crisis hit my marriage a few months after I started doing the Abundant Life book.

This is my 3rd time reading this chapter and meanwhile, my love did amazing things that helped me to trust Him as my lover and provider.
It was a weekend and a lovely summer day my Love called me to a day out alone with Him. He wanted me to buy new clothes
When the author of the book spoke about the picture of poverty this was me, before I became His bride.

We went to a nearby town, just me and Him, EH (earthly husband) stayed with the kids, that alone was a great battle for me to let them go.

There was a specific dress that I wanted to buy, a denim dress. I did not know if I were able to find something so specific but while walking there on the street there were many different clothes shops. I headed towards a shop where we usually buy trendy clothes at cheap prices, but my beloved had other plans He lead me instead to another shop on the corner of the street, I was unsure of which shop would be but I followed his leading when I arrived there, I were reluctant to enter, because I usually don’t shop on that shop because they sell expensive clothes. While I was there, I find the denim dress, more I knew it was God when I look it was very expensive for what I was used to paying for a dress, I never paid that much money for a dress, I tried it on, the dress fit perfectly. But I was afraid to buy it, I thought that I would lack if I bought it, and also were afraid of what EH would say. I left the dress in the shop and went to the old cheap shop instead and bought clothes for my kids, even bought something for EH but nothing for myself after leaving the shop I was not at peace, I called my sister to pray for me, she also encouraged me to buy the dress. I went again to the shop bought the dress and went home so happy. And I never lacked anything.

Another time I went to a hygiene shop and again I was alone, always when my beloved wants me to buy something for myself he waits until I am alone with Him, I was in that shop and again I were picking products for my kids, my beloved made to stop and put them back on the shelf and told me to focus on myself, I went and bought all the products that I liked, then we were passing by through a sports clothes shop he told me to enter, there was one trainer that he wanted me to buy, which he had showed me through a vision, again were quite expensive again I were afraid that I would lack and I went out without buying it while in another shop, one song was coming up from the radio saying you feel like something is not quite right, there is something that you feel you should have done, that were exactly like I was feeling, I knew my love were speaking to me, I went again to the shop, I was still battling if I should buy. While trying next to me was standing the shop keeper and I was giving the excuses that I can fit my foot so well, he took the shoe and opened it for me, my foot fitted, after that he took the shoe straight to the counter ready to pay, I couldn’t say anything ah ah and just paid. I took a look at the trainers that I were wearing on that day, which was the only pair of trainers I had I noticed that they were wearing out, and I did not even notice! It was so amazing for me to see that he genuinely cares for me. Not even I could pay attention to myself but He did I felt so cared and loved.

In another instance I went to a shop to do groceries again were just two of us, I told Him to guide me to buy just the necessary things that I came to buy, for I did not want to spend more money as I have spent too much on that week and was worried, while on the shop the first thing that He leads me to was to a pair of loafers, which I wanted to buy and he also had already advised me that I should buy. I laughed. Here was me trying to put a limit to my spending and He just do the opposite, at this point, I have learned to trust Him and did buy the loafers Summer was coming and I had not even one pair of sandals that was great!

Through these things, I am not only learning to let go of my fears, but I came to know and believe the love that He has for me, that he wants to truly care for me and bless me, these things worked like a healing for me, I came from a family who struggled financially, and the words that I mostly heard from EH mouth during the crisis was that I was broke. Plus I haven’t got a job like he wanted me to have, not because, I did not search for a job or not because I was not offered one, but the Lord would not allow it, even though I tried a lot. I had already the poverty mentality in me that came from my childhood, plus now the struggle in my marriage, I was thinking I am not worthy of having any expensive clothes, I have never done that or experienced that from many people. His generosity and love also helped me to be more generous and free to give.
One day like in the testimony on this chapter I was used by Him to bless someone. We went to a restaurant for dinner He picked my favorite restaurant, It is amazing to see that now I do not look at the prices but, just sit and eat, if this was before I would check the prices through the window if it was expensive I would not enter, I would go instead to another cheaper restaurant. We had a lovely time. There at the restaurant was a young girl serving and I could see that she was having a tough day because one client was complaining to her that there was not enough food at the buffet, she still did her best to serve everyone with a good attitude. Everyone ate and went home, I was one of the last people in the restaurant I was about to pay for my food with my card and I remember that I had a 10 or 20 pounds bill in my wallet, I paid for my expenses with card and then I said that I wanted to tip the 10/20 pounds bill for the girl, she was shocked and almost fainted. Then she said, no, don’t do that, that’s too much! I told her that she did a good job serving and I wanted to bless her. She was speechless. I did not know the impact that this small gesture would do on her, I was impacted to see that too. I also was so involved in His love that I was happy to give, even though that was a big amount for me, I would never ever do that, I never gave tips on a restaurant and, if I would, it would have been some coins. Only His love set me free like that. Wow, how wonderful He is!