Helped me to let go of trying to protect my children

Today I was reading the “Your Best Protection” (https://loveatlast.org/finding-the-abundant-life/chapter-12-your-best-protection/) from Finding the Abundant Life again since it is a lesson I use so much in my own situation with my children and also a lesson I share with other bride’s going through the same, or kind of the same situation; having to expose their children to the OW or even, like me, have your children staying with the OW.

I remember the first time I found out afterwards that my children were introduced to the OW, I fell apart. Then my fh started the process of taking primary custody away from me to have the children live with him and the OW most of the time and having her taking over all my tasks as a mother. My heart broke in one million pieces, not just for me, but for my children. As mothers we want to be there for our children, and we want to protect them from everything.

But HH reminded me that even if my children stayed with me, I cannot go with them to school, I cannot always be everywhere they are. I cannot protect them from hurt even if I wanted too so desperately. And just reading this sentence from the lesson opened my eyes to this reality: “What mother doesn’t try to protect her children? Yet I have found, when backed into a corner, my protection (for myself and also for my children) is basically no protection at all.”

What also struck me and something I’ve learned from this lesson is that when you are divorced, and your fh chooses to introduce the children to the OW, then you can’t do anything about it because the children was given to both of you equally. That is something that stuck with me all this time, and I never fought with my fh about the children because of this fact, not during the divorce or afterwards, he is their dad and I never stopped him from seeing the children. I could have been spiteful and kept the children from him to take “revenge,” but what good would that have done? I would have hurt my children who loves their dad so much, I would have been the one that hurt them instead of protecting them.

Something I will always remember is what my former MIL told me once because I used to be super protective over my children when they were still babies, not wanting her to take them anywhere when they were with her. I basically expected her to stay home and not go to town or anything with my children. Then one day she told me that I must let go and trust the One in Who’s hands they are. At that stage it didn’t make sense to me that she could say something like that, but now looking back, and after going through what I went through, and this lesson becoming real to me, I know she was right.

The fact that He is my children’s best protection, the fact that He is always with them no matter where they are, gave me so much peace and helped me to let go of trying to protect my children. I know they are safe and looked after. I know my protection is nothing compared to His protection. I can rest in peace that they are in their Heavenly Father’s hands that loves them more than anything.