Chapter 2
"Let the Wedding Bells Ring"
I was 15 and ready to conquer the world. I was young but very independent and focused on my own life agenda. I was a responsible student and worked as soon as I was legally able. I met Marco at an outing at the mall. He was very charming with his words, but I was not easily swept off my feet. We started just as friends and I enjoyed our time together. Being so young I didn’t have much freedom, but we made it work. I met his family and he met mine. We understood each other and loved to take adventures. Every outing together was planned for new experiences. Since he was new to the state, we explored and did lots of sightseeing. It was nice.
A major Hurricane hit our area shortly after we met so he had to move back to his hometown in New York. We attempted a long-distance relationship where I would visit him or he would come visit me. We had our rocky times, but it went so fast and no matter what was going on, when we got together, we were happy.
Marco finally got the opportunity to move back to Miami and we were official again. He had a daughter, Natalie. I met her when she was just a year and a half. She was so precious and I loved her. At around 3 years of age, Marco got full custody of her. I found myself not only a girlfriend but now in this women/mother role for this adorable child. It was a lot, but I was happy. I loved children and my plan was to become an elementary school teacher. I will not say we didn’t have bumpy roads. We were both so young trying to live life and still keep this relationship going.
I remember one time Marco came to me and said he felt stuck with me. Although I was taken aback by his remark, I loved him enough to give him the space he needed. I didn’t want to be with someone who wanted something else, whatever that may be. Plus we were young and so we gave each other a break. Not sure how long it lasted but it was our first official break up. I was sad but it felt right and I think we both needed it.
What that time apart did for me was just confirm that I did love him and wanted to be with him. He agreed and felt the same so we reunited. Of course, there were many things I would have done differently knowing what I know now but this is the path I walked. I was in love and ready to be the best woman, wife, and mother I could be.
I was married at the tender age of 18 and Marcel was 23 years old. We had Natalie who was 4 years old now, as our beautiful flower girl. It was a beautiful wedding full of love and family. Soon after our son Marco Jr. was born. We had our own family and could not be happier.
As time went by the waves of life hit. All the things that were ignored or pushed under the rug began surfacing. We had no choice but to face them. We were two imperfect people, young and inexperienced handling a new household with all the responsibilities that come with it.
LOVE??? Was it still there? Did we take each other for granted? What did we expect from each other?
Did things go as planned?
Who’s plan were we following anyways?
We were both from broken homes and both with missing pieces. Perhaps we expected each other to fill those voids or tried desperately to find fulfillment in this world. All I know is we were together til death do us part RIGHT? I wanted this marriage, I wanted my family. I was willing to do whatever it took, but a heart can only take so much and what the world taught me was only creating division. I was set that there was one thing that would tear us apart and I never wanted to deal with it, infidelity.
*********My First Encounter with Infidelity***********
The story of my mom and dad
One summer visiting my dad I was staying with my aunt. I was very close to my cousin Luisa and so my dad knew I loved spending time in her home. I believe I was about 12 at the time. Leyla shared a room with her older sister, my cousin Cecilia, and we were all three getting ready for bed. I don’t remember how the conversation started but Cecilia asked me if I knew the reason why my parents had divorced. I hesitated but quietly said no. (God had protected my heart and innocence). She then very cold-heartedly blurted out how my mom cheated on my dad and with no filter started sharing all the details. At first, I was in disbelief and in shock. I wanted to cover my ears or run out of the house, but my body just froze. I felt completely devastated and heartbroken. I loved my mom and looked up to her. How could she possibly do something so horrific to someone I loved so dearly? My dad was so precious to me. He was the only person I knew that showed me unconditional love and it tenderized my heart to God. I had no idea he went through this. He always showed so much love and respect to my mom even after the divorce that he never wanted. Years later my mom did talk to me about the incident and said if she knew then what she knew now, she would have never left my dad, but it was the life she lived.
My dad showed me what it meant to forgive even though no one encouraged him to do so. On the contrary, they teased him for being too soft and stupid. He quietly took it and walked his walk his way, loving and never wronging my mom. Even until his last days, ALWAYS loved her.
Who knew I was about to walk into a similar situation? I was about to start a journey that I was chosen for to break the chains of bondage and see the VICTORY God had for me, my family, and my future generations. Let me share my life before I came to this realization.
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RJN “Brave Through the Fire” Lota Joel
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