Like most of the living lessons that I record or have written, they have really ministered to me, maybe more than any of you or all of you combined. Why? Because God knows I need all His help and guidance. He also knows how much I want to live each of these lessons over my very, very long, abundant life journey and the joy of sharing them with you.

Isn’t that incredible? Like many of you, I initially embarked on a restoration journey. However, when I truly recognized Him as my Husband—not just as my Lord or Best Friend, which is how our relationship began—everything shifted. My restoration journey, because we all seek to restore something, transformed into a life of abundance.

Most women want to restore a relationship of some kind, and most of the women who have come here came because of a relationship crisis, most often marriage. Regardless of how you came here or where you started your restoration journey, it's so important (and why we do all these living lessons and we host them on Zoom Fellowships and comment on them and share them) because we want everybody to be living an abundant life.

So, this particular Living Lesson is very interesting because I had no idea I had a problem with something until I saw it in someone else. Isn't that just like that one parable where it talks about, (is it a parable or example?), but when God says, “And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:3, Luke 6:41). It wasn't that I was really necessarily judging, but I just didn't see this thing in me. Like the last chapter, this happened during the time when I was ministering to my sister when she had health issues and was very concerned, as all of us would be, if we were going to be facing something that could definitely be life-altering or life-ending, such as medical tests or surgery.

So during this time, she had so many concerns:. What about this? Who's going to help me with this? Yet, one of the first things she didn't want to do was to ask any of our family members she lives close to. She didn't want to ask anyone, and she said she didn't want that person’s help. Instead, she reached out to me, and I live extremely far away. Even though I can help her in some ways, like I had been doing by ministering to her, sharing living lessons, devotionals, particular promises, and things like that —she'd easily accept those types of things. Oh, and of course financially, she would accept little treats and things that she may need, I offered to help bless her with. However, I couldn't do the physical. I couldn't come and stay with her before and after her surgery or drive her there. I couldn't do any of those things.

Yet, what I was listening to her say, and when I was asking my Husband to help me to know how to help and minister to her, He reminded me of a situation when I didn't want to accept a gift from someone. As I explained this, I made sure she understood that most of the reason I didn't want to accept something from someone was because someone was repeatedly not kind to me. Very unkind.

These types of individuals now are labeled all kinds of things, such as abusive, coercive, and controlling, but I don't want to take this living lesson along that path. We know that people are unkind, whether it's what they say, how they act, or what they do. When I feel hurt or offended, as always, I ask Him, and that’s when He reminds me we are all slaves, merely acting in a way to the one to whom they're enslaved. The Lord is not leading them. Here’s the principle, “Do you not know when you present yourselves to someone as slaves of obedience, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin resulting in death, or of obedience resulting in righteousness?” (Romans 6:16), Let’s alter what it says just slightly to help us to understand others, “Do you not know when that person present themselves to someone as slaves of obedience, they are slaves of the one whom they obey, either of sin resulting in death or of obedience resulting in righteousness?” (Romans 6:16).

They are not, nor do they have the ability to do anything when “they are not slaves to righteousness.” We may also think of it as acting out in the flesh or reacting to something coming against them. But let’s not get off track. The point I want to make is that a lot of times, our attackers are repentant. They don't just want—they often desperately need— to make it up to you with a gift so they feel better.

Just now, I remembered when I was pregnant for the first time, and my former mother-in-law had suggested that maybe having our first baby was not the right thing to do and started to suggest that I should just get an abortion.

I was horrified! Of all the people she or anyone could say that to. I'm like the last person that you ever want to say that to because I was “a scheduled abortion,” and I thank God that my mother and father said No, not even for the health of the mother.” I am here today, and my mother lived to see all my children born. Even though the doctor said she would die, she lived, and yet she lived to a very old age.

Anyway, after my former mother-in-law said what she said, I didn't want to do anything with her. There's no way I'd want to accept any gift from her. After she saw my reaction, heartbroken and sickened, she felt horrible after she said it, so like many people who hurt us, she wanted to make up for it; she tried to make amends.

One of the first things she did was take me to an expensive maternity store to buy me a whole wardrobe of everything in the store. And guess what? I accepted it. I accepted it because I knew it wasn't from her. Either this is true, or it's not, “My God shall supply all your needs according to His riches” (Philippians 4:19). Whether or not it would help her to feel better or not feel better. God reminded me, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (James 1:17).

What He, the Person who loves me, wanted to do was to bless me with a whole new wardrobe, and it’s pride to not accept what anyone wants to give me. Over the years, that's happened where whoever it is has tried to make up by giving something to us, but we don't accept it.

We’ve been talking about gifts, but what about accepting help, like my sister needed and was praying for? Why not accept help from somebody who offers to drive her there or back? I explained it to her, knowing this was definitely from my Husband, who was speaking through me. I was asking Him to help me know what to say to her and what to say when someone offers a gift or help.

Simply say, “Thank you.”

Remembering Who it’s coming from helps, so I also encourage those who feel guilty to switch their emotions to grateful rather than guilty. 

Guilty and grateful also walk along the path of overgiving, which I have been guilty of. It's interesting because I am so out of balance with giving so much or doing so much or helping so much, yet I was the worst at accepting until I realized when I don't accept His help, that is coming from anyone else. It's challenging for me to just accept it. Thankfully, I have just gotten so much better ever since I ministered to my sister. And that's going to happen to each of you, too.

As you begin ministering and sharing this living lesson (or any living lesson), you will often need answers to questions or unexpected issues that arise when you're ministering to someone else.

Again, while you’re having a conversation, ask your Husband while you're listening, like I do: “How can I help? What can I say? I don't know what to say.” And don't assume you do know the answer because, trust me, you don't. I don't. I mean, maybe you're brighter than I am. Maybe you do know a lot, but I'm going to say you don't have the correct answer. Only He has the answers. That's the only answer that you want.

So if you ask Him, and He tells you, and then you minister to another person, all of a sudden, the answer will come to you as well. And that's what happened. I started finding myself just saying, “Thank you. Thank you. Oh, thank you. Thank you.”

It recently happened while I was in an Uber. Sometimes, the Uber driver gets out, opens my door, and helps me out. Instead of resisting this "good and perfect gift from above," I say, “Thank you" and smile.

Sadly, we women have been conditioned by the feminists to say, “Oh no you don’t, I can do it.” Very often, our dominating female society expects us to express how insulted we are. But, for heaven's sake, why be insulted? When we now know "good and perfect gift is from above," it's His hand reaching out to help you out of the car or His hand opening your door. Of course, you are capable of opening it yourself, but it’s called kindness, and you have a spirit of gratitude and humility to reply with a smile, “Thank you.”

You may laugh because I am like the Apostle Peter, who refused to have his feet washed but went on to say, “Wash all of me.” I wanted to learn this so much that I purposely handed the Uber driver my heavy purse as I got out. It's wonderful because I don't even recognize myself.

Nevertheless, don’t be ungrateful or arrogant, thinking your Husband deserves all the gratitude. I don't think any of you could be like that, but should you share and minister this lesson to someone else, remind them to be kind and grateful to the messenger, the delivery person, while you remember and acknowledge Who is sending it to you.

Let me conclude by saying that this living lesson helped my sister through every single one of her needs, concerns, and fears. He took care of and provided everything, and she accepted it, knowing it was from Him while saying to the one who delivered His kindness, “Thank you.”

She was so thankful and grateful, when she realized she had all her needs met. Yet, at the same token, it taught me so much to accept His help. That's, whatever it is is coming from Him. And if He sends a different messenger from the one you wanted, be grateful to the messenger because you remember Who sent it.

Don’t keep saying, “No, no, no,” or “That's okay,” or “I can do it.” Accepting help is the only way to be well-balanced and travel along the center of the narrow road. We can't be givers if we are not willing to receive, especially because we now understand Who we're receiving that help or gift from.

So I hope that this living lesson is something you'll really embrace. Again, the best way to learn it is not only to live it but also to minister the lesson to someone. Ask your Husband right now, “Is there someone who's really struggling with this?” then reach out to whoever He brings to mind. And please don't go to preach about it. Go and begin by confessing your faults, confess how ministered to you and how you thought of yourself, and that’s how you’ll be helping them as well.

Be sure to boast about your weaknesses. Together, let's see how many women we can help with this one lesson, which will help them live abundant lives. Thanks for listening!