Chapter 1

Oh, Beloved

I thank God as I constantly remember you…

You are in my prayers night and day,

I am longing to see you,

Even as I recall your tears,

So that we may be filled with joy.š

Longing for Healing

Oh, My Precious Child of God,

It’s not an accident that this book ended up in your hands. God saw your tears, He heard the cries you never spoke out loud, and He’s been reaching out to you just like He once reached out for me. When I thought my life was shattered beyond repair, He came close, held me, and gently began putting the broken pieces back together. These pages are meant to guide you as His words and He personally walks beside you in the same healing journey—step by step, breath by breath. I know how heavy and hopeless it feels when the pain of the past refuses to let go.

The road won’t always feel easy. It wasn’t for me either. But miracles are still possible, even in the middle of the deepest wounds. If your heart longs for healing, for freedom from the shame and fear that childhood trauma leaves behind, for a life that feels safe and whole again—you can trust Him with that longing. He’s not asking you to trust the people who hurt or failed you. He’s asking you to lean on Him, the only One who will never fail you.

“The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.”²

God has been searching for you—yes, you—long before you discovered this book. He wants to lift you up and help you carry what is too heavy for you to bear. Are you ready to loosen your grip on the pain and let Him guide you? I know it feels scary, especially when trust has been shattered before, but this is different. He isn’t asking you to prove yourself—only to let Him walk beside you on this journey.

Wherever your heart aches—whether from childhood wounds, broken trust, deep loneliness, or fears that still linger—He longs to bring restoration. Emotional scars, spiritual confusion, even physical exhaustion… none of it is too big for Him. His promise is that the years of loss, of emptiness, of what was stolen from you, can be restored: “Then I will make up to you for the years That the swarming locust has eaten, I will pay back to you in full for the years… You will have plenty… and you will praise the name of the Lord your God, the One Who has dealt wondrously with you; then My people will never be put to shame or feel ashamed.”³

Shifting Your Treasure

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”⁴

My prayer for you right now is simple: that your heart will begin to find comfort in God’s presence. I pray blessings over you as you seek Him—not just for quick fixes or temporary relief, but because your soul longs for His love and lasting healing. Someday, I believe with all my heart, we will stand together, free of sorrow and tears, celebrating the way He carried us through the pain and into peace.

Dear sweet beloved bride, God really can restore every broken place in your life—you can hold Him to His Word. “‘Truly I say to you, if you have faith, and do not doubt, you shall not only do what was done . . . but even if you say to this mountain, “Be taken up and cast into the sea,” it shall happen.’”⁵

If you’re holding this book, I know life feels unbearable right now. Maybe it’s the weight of shame, the sting of anger, the grip of fear, or the memories you wish you could erase—pressing so heavily that it feels like you can’t breathe. But even in this place, God whispers hope: “All things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose.”⁶ That promise isn’t just for others—it’s for you.

Letting Go of Your Own Plan

As we slowly surrender—our pain, our past, our struggles—something begins to shift. When we hand over our burdens and trust that God has a purpose even in the mess, healing begins to take root. This is what the Lord meant when He promised an abundant life: “I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly.”⁷ Abundance doesn’t mean a life without scars or hardship, but rather discovering restoration, meaning, and peace through what once felt unbearable.

If you really want things to turn around for good, you’ll need to open your heart to accept God's love and be willing to release your own plan. “We loved Him because He first loved us.” That can feel terrifying, especially when control feels safer than surrender—but “perfect love casts out fear.” True freedom comes only when we trust Him more than ourselves.

Right now, God’s desire is simple: He wants to be closer to you. Not as a distant figure, but as your dearest friend, your safe place, even as the One who cares for you with tender love. His Word says: “Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrows. For your Husband is your Maker, Whose name is the Lord of hosts; And your Redeemer Who is called the God of all the earth. For the Lord has called you back from your grief—as though you were a young wife abandoned by her husband,” says your God. “For a brief moment [it felt as if] I abandoned you, but with great compassion I [have] you back. With everlasting love I will have compassion on you,” says the Lord, your Redeemer.”⁸

Walking Through the Valley

It’s time to find courage again, because God has promised, “I will never leave you, nor forsake you.”⁹ Even when you’ve felt completely abandoned, He has never stepped away. The psalmist reminds us, “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me.”¹⁰ You may have lived in that valley of shadows for far too long—but now He’s calling you to step into His light and follow Him out of the darkness you have been in.

If that valley feels like your home, you’re not alone—I have been there too. But God never intended for you to remain in that darkness. He longs to take the pain that has wrapped itself around your life and begin weaving it into something good. Healing may not happen all at once, but if you watch for His goodness—even in the midst of the struggle—you’ll begin to notice small flickers of hope breaking through.

When you come out on the other side, your faith will shine like gold refined by fire. God says, “In this you greatly rejoice, even though for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold (which is perishable) even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise, glory and honor.”¹¹ Your pain is not wasted—it is shaping something strong and beautiful within you.

The most important step right now is this: “Be still and know that I am God…”¹² Stop running from the hurt or trying to numb it. Instead, allow yourself to fall safely into His arms. If you hold close to His Word and let Him guide you through the hard places, you will not come out weaker—you will rise stronger, softer, and closer to His heart.

Fighting the Lies of the Enemy

There is a real enemy behind your pain. The people who hurt you are not the true cause, even though they left deep scars. God says, “The thief [the enemy] comes to steal, to kill, and destroy; I came that you might have life, and might have it abundantly.”⁷ The enemy wants you to believe your life is ruined, that joy will never return—but those are lies. God’s truth is what sets you free. “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”¹³

Don’t let the enemy keep stealing from you—your peace, your future, or your hope. Others, myself included, can testify that even when everything seemed impossible, God was still protecting: “A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand, but it shall not approach you.”¹⁴

The world offers shallow fixes that don’t truly heal. Distractions, denial, even pretending it doesn’t hurt—they’re like bandages over a wound that runs deep. Only God’s love can reach those hidden places. Let Him be your safe place, even the One who holds your heart close: “For your Husband is your Maker…”¹⁵

When it feels like everything around you is falling apart, His love will never move: “‘For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake, but My lovingkindness will not be removed from you, and My agreement of peace will not be shaken,’ says the Lord who has compassion on you.”¹⁶

Let His Word wash over you like living water: “The Lord loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.”¹⁷ His Word will soothe your soul and restore your hope. “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”¹⁸ Even when you can’t see it yet, hold on. “Without faith it is impossible to please God…”¹⁹

No one but God fully knows your story. He has seen every hidden tear, every injustice, every time you felt unseen or forgotten. That’s why His guidance matters most. Talk to Him in prayer. Listen to Him in His Word. He will lead you toward the healing He has already prepared. But be careful—voices that sound “Religious” can still mislead if they don’t line up with His Word. God will speak first to your heart through His Word, and others may confirm it—but they should never replace it.

Many well-meaning people will give advice that sounds good but isn’t rooted in truth. God warns, “Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked.”²⁰ God’s way often feels upside down compared to the world’s way—like choosing forgiveness when others say “hold onto anger,” or choosing gentleness when others say “be hard.” These choices aren’t easy, but with His help, they lead to life and freedom.

Seeing the Real Enemy

“I came that you might have life, and might have it abundantly.”¹³ The enemy may have used others to wound you, but your pain does not define you—you are tenderly held, deeply loved, and safe in the Lord’s care.”

Instead of clinging to those lies, cling to the truth. “Take every thought captive.”¹⁴ When shame, despair, or hopelessness whisper into your mind, you can choose to silence them with God’s promises. His Word reminds you of your worth and fills you with freedom.

You don’t have to let the enemy steal from you anymore—not your peace, not your future, not your hope. I’ve seen God’s protection even when everything looked lost, and God promised, “A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand, but it shall not approach you.”¹⁵

This journey is about learning to trust God’s way instead of the world’s empty solutions. Numbing yourself, hiding the pain, or pretending it never happened won’t bring healing. A bandage can’t cure cancer. Only God’s love can reach that deep and restore your life. Let Him be your comfort, your safe place, even the One who tenderly guards your heart: “For your Husband is your Maker…”¹⁶

Even when everything around you feels like it’s shaking, His love will not fail you: “‘For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake, but My lovingkindness will not be removed from you, and My agreement of peace will not be shaken,’ says the Lord who has compassion on you.”¹⁷

Washed in the Word

“Pore over the Bible, letting your Beloved, ‘wash you with the water of the Word’”¹⁸. Believe what God says, not just what you see, since “faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen”¹⁹. “And without faith it is impossible to please God…”²⁰

No one but God knows exactly what you are going through right now, or the depths of what you’ve been through in your past. Only He has witnessed every moment and fully sees the pain and suffering in your heart. That means only He has the answers you need right now, and for every struggle you will face ahead. If you pray (simply talking with Him) and listen (reading His Word, the Bible), He can guide you step by step into the healing He has waiting for you. Be careful when considering the voices of others—experts, friends, pastors, or counselors—if what they say doesn’t line up with God’s Word. When you are seeking Him sincerely, He will speak to your heart first, through His Word and in the quiet where you can hear His voice. Others may lovingly affirm what He is speaking to you, but they can never take His place. Their confirmation will simply echo the direction He is guiding you, and it will always align with His Word.”

Too many people, even Believers, may tell you things that sound comforting or seem wise but aren’t rooted in God’s truth. If it doesn’t follow His Word, it won’t hold—you’ll be on sinking sand. “Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked”²¹. God’s way often looks upside down compared to the world’s way. Choosing to forgive when others say to stay bitter, choosing gentleness when others say to harden yourself—these things may sound crazy. But they are God’s way, and they always require His strength to live out. What comes easy to our flesh rarely heals us; it only feeds the pain.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by too many opinions, it may be because you’re sharing too much of your struggle with others. Instead, “Be still and know that I am God…”²². And as Proverbs reminds us, “Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is considered prudent”²³. Guarding your heart by remaining quiet about details can protect you from destructive advice and the careless words of others. Sometimes the wisest and safest thing you can do is to stay silent, resting in God as He carries you through.

Waiting on the Best Counselor

Don’t act impulsively or be quick to move. God often says, “Wait!” And during the waiting, He changes things in ways we couldn’t imagine. He said that He is the “Wonderful and Mighty Counselor”²⁴. Don’t you want the best? Wouldn’t you want a Counselor who already knows the future, who understands your pain, and who can bring healing to places no one else can reach? There is only One who can show you the right direction. Trust Him and Him alone. Be careful not to rely on voices—even Believers—that offer the world’s solutions instead of God’s.

Too often, well-meaning advice can do more harm than good. Some encourage you to dig up the past, to speak words that wound deeper, or to confront others in ways that reopen old scars. “Honesty” without wisdom often becomes cruelty, pouring salt on unhealed wounds. But God calls you to a different path. “One thing I’ll do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I [will] press on toward the goal for the prize”²⁵.

If anyone has told you that your life is hopeless or too damaged to be restored, start praising God—because hopeless situations are when He shows up! He sometimes allows what feels impossible so that His love and power can be revealed in ways no one else can explain. “With people this is impossible but with God, all things are possible!”²⁶

Work with God. Don’t believe the lie that your healing depends on other people apologizing, changing, or making things right. Healing begins with Him and Him alone. The only thing you need to do is give your whole heart to the Lord and walk with Him each day, leaning on His unlimited strength. “For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth that He may support those whose heart is completely His…”²⁷

I have had the privilege of being “counseled” by the Best Counselor, and in this book I will share some of what He has shown me through His Word. No two stories of pain are exactly the same; nevertheless, His Word speaks to all. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God”²⁸.

Search His Word after you have prayed to find the answers you need. “Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and you shall find…”²⁹. “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways”³⁰.

You must have faith! And where do you get faith? From Him! Ask Him for it, since “all good things come from above”³¹.

God’s Word, His Principles

Beloved, whether you know the Bible well or you’ve never read it before, the Bible must become your guide for healing. A single book made up of sixty-six books that is the most read book of all time. Why? Because it is alive. “For the word of God is alive and active”. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” This book you are reading is filled with the very promises the Lord my Beloved gave me, and I am honored to be able to give them to you.

As I let Him guide me through His Word, He revealed how much of my life had been built on lies, fear, and patterns I didn’t even realize were there. Some came from wounds I carried from my childhood, others from choices I made later on—but all of them left me broken. Unless we build our lives on His Word, destruction is certain. “Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell—and great was its fall”³².

This same truth applies to many of you who find your hearts shattered or weighed down by pain from the past. Maybe you’ve realized the way you’ve been coping—shutting down, hiding, blaming yourself—has only added to the brokenness. Sometimes we hurt ourselves without even realizing it, simply because we don’t know God’s way. “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge”³³. Once you begin to understand and accept this, it will be a turning point in your healing journey.

Building on Solid Ground

The same was true in my own life. Without knowing how God thinks, what He values, and how He designed us to live, I stumbled into patterns that only deepened the pain. My life felt like it was built on sinking sand—“and great was its fall”³⁴.

The wisdom I found through reading and rereading God's Word began to show me that the Bible wasn’t just a book—it was the guide I had always needed. It explained why my heart felt so broken, and it revealed the way toward healing. God didn’t just create the world with physical laws, like gravity, but also with spiritual laws that shape our lives.

Just as ignoring the law of gravity will cause a fall, ignoring the spiritual truths in His Word leads to brokenness. That’s what I discovered in my own journey: trying to heal with my own methods only left me hurting more.

Another life-changing discovery was realizing how often God’s ways are the opposite of the world’s. The world teaches us to numb our pain, lash out, or bury our feelings. But God’s way is different. His way brings victory and freedom: “. . . This is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith”³⁵.

When I finally started trusting God’s way—choosing surrender instead of control, faith instead of fear—I began to notice real change. The world’s ways always end in more destruction, but God’s ways always lead to healing, restoration, and joy. “For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life”³⁶.

In the next chapter I have put together a quick reference to help you step out of the crisis you feel inside.” Because when we relax and become pliable clay in His hands we’re no longer the shattered pottery pieces that have been found crushed and trampled on.

The more a woman follows these principles, the more restoration she will experience in her heart. Those who remain stuck in cycles of pain are often the ones who refuse to believe and obey the spiritual laws of God, or who mistakenly think they are above them.

Where Healing Begins

Maybe for the first time, you’re ready to stop running and let Him in. That’s all He’s been waiting for. Healing begins in the quiet moment when you whisper, “God, I’m ready.” Ready to stop carrying it all alone. Ready to hand Him the memories, the fear, the shame, and the pieces of your heart that you’ve been protecting for so long.

He’s not afraid of your pain. He’s not shocked by your story. He knows every tear, every wound, every moment that broke you—and still, He calls you His beloved.

This is where the healing begins—not when everything is fixed, but when you decide to trust that He can make beauty out of what’s been shattered. The God who saw you in your darkest hour is the same One who will walk with you into the light.

You are not too far gone. You are not forgotten.
This—right here—is where your healing begins.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”⁴³

Journal

“Share the Lesson, Share His Love”

We invite you to begin your own Restore Your Life Journal. Writing is a powerful act of healing—it slows your pace, quiets the noise, and creates private space for your heart to connect deeply with your Beloved. As you write honestly and openly, the walls that once guarded your heart begin to soften. In that openness, your Husband surrounds you with love, comfort, and brings clarity to your thoughts, while gently beginning the work of healing.

Your Journal is your opportunity for release and renewal. When you open your heart fully, you give Him room to mend the hidden wounds you may not even realize are there and to fill every empty place with His peace and hope—so you can live the lessons He’s teaching you.

When you’re ready, we’d love for you to share what He’s shown you. Comment below with a portion of your journal—your healing—and let your testimony encourage another woman to trust Him in her own journey.

Then

Share your Testimony using your HHM BNN

 

Footnotes

1. 2 Timothy 1:3–4
2. 2 Chronicles 16:9
3. Joel 2:25–32
4. Matthew 6:19–21
5. Matthew 21:21
6. Romans 8:28
7. John 10:10
8. Isaiah 54:4–8
9. Hebrews 13:5
10. Psalm 23:4 KJV
11. 1 Peter 1:6–7
12. Psalm 46:10
13. John 8:32
14. 2 Corinthians 10:5
15. Psalm 91:7
16. Isaiah 54:5
17. Isaiah 54:10
18. Ephesians 5:26
19. Hebrews 11:1
20. Hebrews 11:6
21. Psalm 1:1

22. Psalm 46:10
23. Proverbs 17:28
24. Isaiah 9:6
25. Philippians 3:12–14
26. Matthew 19:26
27. 2 Chronicles 16:9
28. 2 Corinthians 1:3–4
29. Matthew 7:7 KJV
30. James 1:5–8
31. James 1:17
32. Matthew 7:26–27
33. Hosea 4:6
34. Matthew 7:27
35. 1 John 5:4
36. Galatians 6:8
37. Romans 6:15
38. Romans 3:31
39. Romans 6:2
40. Isaiah 30:21
41. Psalm 91:7
42. Matthew 7:14

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