~ Michele in California came to RMI when she was facing divorce. After reading the RYM book, A Wise Woman and Erin's Facing Divorce, she then began helping RMI's NarrowRoad publishing. Very soon her marriage was restored, yet, 14 years later, Michele found herself facing divorce again while helping Erin to update Facing Divorce. Soon she discovered how amazingly He planned to use it for good, Michele discovered the real reason God allowed divorce to happen again and began her journey to Finding the Abundant.

“Michele” is also our Facing Divorce Again and Finding the Abundant Life Minister.

READ more from “Michele” by reading her Encouraging Praise Reports or the Abundant Life Series that’s transformed so many lives!

“Trick or Treating”

Before coming to RMI our family went through so many spiritual struggles when having to deal with Halloween. Most families simply follow what their local church shows them is the “right” way to deal with this pagan holiday. But it wasn’t until I read something Erin wrote years ago that helped to settle this in my own heart, which now is even more beneficial since I have married children and grandchildren.

It has also removed the judgemental spirit that none of us should have, and again, is now more needed so that no matter what each of my grown children decides for their family, whatever they “choose” to do with their own children (my grandchildren) I am more than okay with it. What a sense of freedom and quietness this has brought to my soul while also not burdening these young families more than they already are.

What Erin shared is that like a lot of us, when her children were very young they participated in dressing up and “trick or treating” until they joined a church where they were “celebrating” the church’s Fall Festival or something else they chose to call it. Sometimes they dressed up, but were forbidden to wear anything scary for a costume.

Yet, much like Christmas and Santa Claus, when children are very young they have no understanding of what’s going on, let alone the meaning behind it. So depending on what the Lord leads you to do with your own children, or what your EH says he wants to do, or what your grown children want to do with their children, as wise women we need to remain peaceful and agreeable. This peaceful and agreeable spirit is the way we always need to respond to our grown children, as well and especially with the unbeliever.

What is so lovely is the verse Erin used that helped to set me free and the principle that can be used for so many purposes. Romans 14:14 “I know and am convinced in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but to him who thinks anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean.” If you want to know the real truth about judging and things that we are worried are unclean or wrong, I’d urge you to read Romans 14:10-25 in the 3 Bible versions I have linked them to (the same versions Erin often links our Weekly Message to).

What I’ve found as I’ve gotten older and more spiritually mature, by the grace of God, is that the more I can move my heart away from the law and focus more on His grace brought on by my relationship with Him as my HH, the more I am unable and unwilling to judge others by laws or moral codes—so I am able to share HIS love with them instead.

It’s due to this principle that I am witnessing so many of the people around me wanting to know and are now experiencing my Savior and my Hero. Thank you my Darling HH!

“A Relationship, Not Religion”

When I came to the place in my Restoration Journey where I knew I had to let go of my church in order for me to find a deeper and more intimate relationship with the Lord, I struggled at first. Until I took my concerns to the Lord.

While sitting quietly He reminded me that getting to know a man you would marry, like an EH was done NOT in a crowd but alone. So to get to know Him as my HH meant that I would long for that time, set it aside, and without the false safety net of attending and serving at church, I would be more committed and serious about spending time with Him.

Unfortunately, I began to whine about being persecuted when church members began to accuse me of being backslidden when I no longer attended church. I was actually able to get over that easily, but when it began to influence the way my children thought—that's when it got tough.

Again I took it to the Lord and immediately I was ashamed because He reminded me of REAL persecution. There are Believers around the world who are killed, imprisoned and tortured due to the love and devotion to the Lord. And here I was complaining about what others "thought" about me! That's when this verse came to my mind. “Friendship with the world is hostility toward God. Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” James 4:4.

It's been years since I've attended church, and since then my children have felt led to follow, and have become LOVERs of the LORD. They still serve and help build up the church, but due to my willingness, I have seen such commitment to the Lord and His word in my children.

Dear Fellow Traveler,

The Lord told us that the gate and path were narrow, and it's especially true with today's church community. What the world needs is a Relationship, not another Religion, which means it will take women like you to be willing to "die to self" and care nothing for your reputation. If Jesus could die naked on the cross for us, how can we complain or whine about what He is calling us to do?

HIS Promises

“Enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide, and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and many are those who enter by it.“ Matt. 7:13 NASB

“Who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed and do not fear their intimidation, and do not be troubled, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence.” 1 Peter 3:13-15 NASB

“I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in Truth.” 3 John 1:4 NASB

Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” Isaiah 6:8 NASB

“Encouraging a Friend”

For a few days my longtime family friend had been on my heart, then when I wrote sensing she needed a few of Erin’s Weekly Messages that I copied and emailed to her. A day later her reply was filled with desperation. Here is my reply to her that I believe is meant for many of you who are feeling desperate too.

Dear Mona,

Thanks so much for sharing where you are and for confirming that He led me to suggest you apply to Restoration Fellowship after sending you you a couple of Weekly Messages that I felt could help.

First let me encourage you by saying that though you can't quite get there seeing the Lord as your Heavenly Husband, I believe it's pretty difficult to do when you are living with an earthly husband. But what I want to encourage you to do is to think of Him as your Lover—nothing that is wrong or sinful—but instead your first love, whom you should be faithful to.

My daughter reminded me of how much trouble she had with the same concept, but it was due to her never being married or even close to a man (never dating or having a boyfriend). So I SG and one day I was able to encourage her by encouraging her to think of the Lord as her Betrothed, like a woman who has an arranged marriage (much like the princess she is) and that is all she needed for it to click.

Dearest Mona, I know the Lord is longing for you to come to Him with each and every difficulty and heartbreak you are experiencing, and talking with Him about every detail when you said you are “up hiding away in the corner of your roof upstairs.” And there you let Him know how much you want everyone gone [the family who has moved in with you and your husband]. Then once you really are able to feel His love for you, you will soon be able to relinquish what He does or doesn't do—instead, you’ll be fully trusting His perfect plan for you.

Mona, I really sense something is about to happen, something AMAZING. And we know this is true when we read...

Psalm 92:6-7—

“A senseless man has no knowledge, Nor does a stupid man understand this: That when the wicked sprouted up like grass And all who did iniquity flourished, It was only that they might be destroyed forevermore.”

Here are some more verses I couldn't stop thinking about that I want you to read at least ONCE each and every time you go to your special place with your Lover.

Isaiah 64:4—

“For from days of old they have not heard or perceived by ear, Nor has the eye seen a God besides You, Who acts in behalf of the one who WAITS for Him.”

Isaiah 64:4 Voice—

“No eye had ever seen, and no ear had ever heard such wonders, but You did them then for the sake of Your people, for those who trusted in You.”

Ephesians 3:20—

“Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us...”

Ephesians 3:20 TLB—

“Now glory be to God, who by his mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of—infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes.”

Ephesians 3:20 The Message—

“God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!”

Isaiah 30:18—

“Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you, and therefore He WAITS on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; how blessed are all those who long for Him.”

Lastly. Even if you're sitting downstairs and some sort of chaos begins, you don't even need to slip away to call your Lover on your cell phone. You can sit right there, surrounded by it all, while your head and heart begin to speak and interact with Him and soon you will feel His love surrounding you, while peace settles over your heart. 🙂

Psalm 23: 1-3—

“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He MAKES ME lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul.”

Mona, my family and I love you so much, so I can't even fathom how much the Lord loves you!! And though not being able to work would worry many people, to me I'm grateful that He has made you lie down...

Psalm 23: 1-3—

“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He MAKES ME lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul.”

Mona, you are home for Him to heal your past by restoring your soul, and being forced to hide away with Him is all part of His perfect plan!

Isaiah 55:8–9:

“‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.’”

Jeremiah 29:11—

“‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.’

“Christmas Love Songs”

Recently I'd been trying to help a fellow minister who's been forthcoming about the struggles she's had to fully let go of her FH. She wants so much to be the Lord's bride so I'd been asking my HH how I might help.

He had just led me to assign a new group of RF members to go through the new course RF is offering "Finding the Abundant Life" based on the book all of the ministers had just gone through (having her lead the course, thus going through it again). Right after I did, like always, I knew I would then "understand" why He led me to do it. So I closed my computer and stopped to listen to Him.

That's when He reminded me of something. He reminded me first of how any woman would feel if her EH returned home to them, but her EH continually talked about, wrote about and thought about the OW. How faithful would he be to his wife and how soon would he leave for her again or find someone else?

So it is with your HH. 🙂

No one can expect to be close to Him when we do the same thing in regard to an EH or FH, and certainly not if we keep talking or writing our regrets or repenting of what we did "wrong" in a relationship we say we want to let go of.

Now for something positive each of you can do. One thing that may help you (and also the minister I am hoping to encourage) is choosing special "Love Song" for you two as a couple. Something that you can sing that's just between you and your HH. And please note, I’m NOT speaking of Christian hymns or anything you'd sing in church. Instead, something contemporary. If you like Country, then find a country love song. Or R&B or Rock, Hip Hop... well you know what I mean. 😉

Simply choose songs you'd normally sing to express your feelings to any man you loved, just make sure it's NOT any song that's been used before for another prior relationship and no lyrics in it bring anyone but HIM to mind. And even if a line or two doesn't "exactly" fit, I'd just change it when I sang it (out loud or to myself).

So to help even more, with the holiday season starting... the first Christmas after my husband left for the OW (or it could have been after he married her) two Christmas songs were on the radio. Here are the lyrics below. I sang them over and over and over again and as a result—I fell more and more and more in love with Him to the point my heart would burst!

The first helped with letting go....

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

But the very next day, you gave it away

This year, to save me from tears

I'll give it to Someone special

(and BTW, there are more lyrics to the song, but it’s only this chorus above I sang 😉

And then there’s this one, which solidified what we say all the time... "All I want, all I need is You"

"All I Want For Christmas Is You"

I don't want a lot for Christmas

There is just one thing I need

I don't care about the presents

Underneath the Christmas tree

I just want You for my own

More than you could ever know

Make my wish come true

All I want for Christmas is You

Just recently I heard both of these songs playing at the local mall, and I had to stop to listen and once again... my heart swelled to bursting remembering those special times when I'd fallen completely in love with Him and now I feel I've fallen in love all over again for HIM!

May you each find the Love of your Life for Christmas. This is my gift to each of you. Please accept it with my love!

Isaiah 54:4-6—

“For your Husband is your Maker, Whose name is the Lord of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth.

“For the Lord has called you, Like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, Even like a wife of one’s youth when she is rejected,' Says your God.”

He's calling you, He's on bended knee, won't you accept His proposal and become HIS?

Song of Solomon 2:16—

“My Beloved is mine, and I am His”

”Song of Solomon 6:3—

“I am my Beloved’s and my Beloved is mine”

Song of Solomon 5:8—

“For I am lovesick.”

Being "in love" is something every woman wants. You don't have to yearn for someone who's thrown your love away. Don't toss Him aside, turn your face towards Him and I promise this will be the BEST Christmas of your entire life.